is it normal for a 12 year old girl to be so full of attitude all the time the slightest thing she either shouts or cries she is also horrible to little brother all the time she has also starting to steal money from us i feel like i have failed as a parent
Suzy - posted on 09/03/2012
I'm sure there a lot of hormonal things taking place. I also believe that her being horrible to her little brother and stealing from you is a cry for attention. It's really difficult to give advice when we don't know how you are reacting to all of this. Is your reaction mode screaming and yelling and consequences not fulfilled? Have you been neglecting her needs because she is older and you feel that she is "old enough" to take care of herself? Are you showing your son gobs of attention because he is a "good little boy?" You need to step back and look at the whole picture. What's going on in her life as well as yours. We have a 14, 11 and 6 year old. When things start going wrong you need to ask yourself, "What am I doing different that may be causing my child to need to draw negative attention to him or herself?" We all want to blame someone or something for the cause of outburst and so-called bad or inappropriate behaviors, but sometime we need to look at what we ourselves have been doing. These things may not be intentional, but sometimes we may slip into certain habits that make things go this direction. Is it her friends? I still monitor and talk to all my children about who they should choose as friends, and lead by good example. The answers may just be in from of you. You just need to be truthful with what is currently going on and be there for her. Listen to her cries for wanting attention. Spend alone time with her and tell her how you want your family life to be and how can you ALL work together to achieve that, mean it and stick to it. Be open and receptive and truly work on a plan to make your family life fun and comfortable as you all can. If things don't get better, you know they will get extremely worse. She is still at the age of changing which direction she can be. I'm sure some of it is hormonal, but as a parent I would be researching all I could to find natural ways of helping her with vitamins and minerals. Magnesium capsules are a great way of balancing symptoms caused from pms. I've been taking them since my early 20's, and I never have any crazy mood swings. I wouldn't stray from for a peace of mind for myself and my family.
Regardless of all that, really look at your life from the outside and self analyze what you can do to change what is happening. Advice is great, but we don't live with you and what is happening in your current circumstance.
I wish you the best of luck in finding peace in your daughter and family life. Never give up on your children, they are our future!
Emily - posted on 09/03/2012
Attitude and emotional, yep.
You've only failed as a parent if you've given up.
You need to make sure there are firm consequences for the stealing and cruelty to the brother. Those are things that cannot be tolerated or she'll keep doing it. You've got to be one step ahead of her.
I have a 16 year old daughter and she began with the attitude around 12 also. I can tell you she is still awful sometimes but seems to be better most of the time. They have so many hormones raging right now. As for the money issue that needs addressed she cannot steal from you. Pick a punishment and stick to it. That's the hardest part for me. :( as far as failing as a parent you haven't! Teen girls are their own species! :) good luck this will get better!!
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