Is it normal for mil to have all my sons first christmas stuff

Nathan - posted on 12/08/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I feel like my mother in law is trying to steal all my memories with my first child. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I'm just wondering if its normal for the mother in law to take him for his first pictures with Santa, buy personalized stuff for her tree with his first christmas, when were at her house she shows him the tree she says see your first christmas tree and stuff like that even though we have a tree... I need some advice!!!

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While I think it's a little odd for her to have "first christmas" stuff for him on HER tree, I guess that's her business and I see nothing wrong with that part. You can have your own personalized stuff for him at your house. However, I would be upset about her taking him on any sort of first outings, like pictures with Santa and such. That's something you as the parent should get to experience with YOUR child for his first time! Having material things for him at her house that she calls his "firsts"...whatever, that's her thing. But first EXPERIENCES should be a privilege for the parents to enjoy with their child. She had her own children to do that stuff with, it's your turn to experience those joys now! It's fine for her to be excited and want to do things with him, but all of his "first" experiences (that you can control, not developmental like walking or saying a word) his parents should get to experience with him, and THEN Mamaw can do them with him after. Your fiance may not understand how this hurts you because men aren't usually as sentimental about a child's firsts as women are. But if I were you I would try to explain to him that whether he understands it or not it DOES hurt you because any of your son's "firsts" that you miss, you will never get back. IMO, he should have a respectful, but frank, conversation with his mother about respecting YOUR boundaries as the child's parents and asking you before doing those things with your son.

Sharayah - posted on 12/08/2012

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He needs to back you up. Ask him how he would feel if your mother was not letting him do things with his son that he wanted to do. if nothing else sit his mom down and talk to her yourself. it needs to stop, trust me, if you don't she will always do it. My son is 2 and my MIL still has to be reminded that she is the grandparent, not the parent. But she is better. she has been great since my daughter was born, other then Halloween.

Sharayah - posted on 12/08/2012

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No, it is NOT. My MIL did that with my son and it drove me crazy!!! She bought his babies first Christmas stocking and tried to do all that. I finally broke and told my husband he needed to tell her that we are buying his stocking and ornament. You need to have your husband talk to her, if you do it, it will look you like YOU are the bad guy. Tell her if she wishes to help then maybe she can take you with her so you can pick it out.



This Halloween my MIL pick out their costumes without asking us what we wanted them to be. you need to nip that in the butt before she gets worse! You need to remind her that this is YOUR son, not hers, and that you want to be the one getting his first Christmas things!

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Nathan - posted on 12/08/2012

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Thank you both so much!!! Time to talk to fiancé :) I appreciate your advice sooo much!!!

Nathan - posted on 12/08/2012

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See that's what I thought but my fiancé says I need to just let it go because she is mamaw and is just as excited as we are! She did stuff like this when I was pregnant and practically ruined my pregnancy. I thought she stopped but nope. So he pretty much takes her side all the time

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