Is it normal that I have NOT been away from my 16 month old daughter not once but for maybe a couple hours?

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Crystal - posted on 04/10/2012

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Thanks everyone. My basic problems is NO family around and not much on her dad's end too. She is so used to just me and him that she would scream with anyone else! She will grow out of it. I get frustrated at times but I know that there will be a day where she is going to just shut her door on me and not want much to do with me at all!

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Melissa - posted on 05/21/2014

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My daughter is 9 months and I havnt left her sight since she has been born... which I don't mind I love being with my daughter... but family and my mother in law give me problems because they want my daughter by themselves and I'm not willing to so... I don't think I ever will be able to let me baby go without me... at least until she is in kids garden and can talk and tell me everything and that way she understands everything. ...

Crystal - posted on 05/08/2012

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Hi Nicole, yep you and I are both alike... Except yours is much older, i have a long way to go. There is no way i could dump her off at daycare. She would be in total shock if I did!

Nicole - posted on 05/08/2012

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I just posted a reply to your main question but I wanted to address this post by you:

ME TOO!!! My hubby works long hours and usually 6-7 days a week, I have NO real life friends around me (they're all on fb), and my family live across the country. Hubby's family is either too elderly or have busy lives of their own so I'm with my son 24/7. When I do try to leave him with my hubby for a few minutes just to go do laundry next door or check the mail, my son cries the whole time I'm gone. We're working on doing it more often to lessen the blow when we finally drop him off at Pre-K. We've managed to "upgrade" to my hubby watching him in the store while I go to another store or on the opposite side of the store to shop. Now we're working on having my hubby watch him while I leave the house. It's tough but all kids will grow out of it.

Nicole - posted on 05/08/2012

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My son is 4 yrs old and I have never been away from him for more than an hour. I need a break badly and cannot wait until he starts Pre-K next summer.

Most people think it's crazy that I've never been away from him but there are reasons why he's never been to a daycare and never had a babysitter (mostly financial reasons).

"Normal" varies from culture to culture, country to country, and era to era. Just so our kids are healthy and happy, I don't see any harm in doing things differently than our friends and family.

Now it may not be mentally healthy for all of us moms who need a break but don't get any, but school is coming up sooner than you know and that's when we can all collectively sigh and enjoy our "break". (If you can't find a babysitter sooner)

Lydia - posted on 04/10/2012

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my daughter (2) has never been away longer than a few of hours from me, and I only leave her with her dad, her grandparents and once she spend an hour at a friends house when i had an doctors appointment and my husband was out of town. i never felt comfortable leaving her with anybody other than family, but that's maybe because I live now abroad and I don't know people as long as do in my home country plus there are some cultural differences in child care that I don't like, it even took me a while to let her stay at her grandmother (my mother in laws) because of the different culture... I have times where every little thing my MIL does drives me nuts, but I know that some of it is not dangerous or harming so I let it go, other stuff that are really important I make a point to explain to her as good as I can why I want her to do it my way, after all it's my baby. Up until now I never felt the need to have sleep over at her grandma's and I think she is still too small for that... usually I miss her so much after 2 hours already. But there are times I needed a break but usually getting away a few hours doing something I love is enough. I also made it a point not to do housework during nap time, but rather to use those breaks to do something for myself... so I get breaks without her needing to be away. I think it's all up to you. If you have people you trust and you need a break it is totally fine to leave your baby with them. But if you don't feel the need to get away it is not abnormal that you never been away for longer times from your baby. Everybody is different, some people feel a bigger need to get a break from their kids than others, like some stay at home moms feel lonely or depressed if they don't get out of the house enough, but others are totally happy to spend their days at home. Don't let anybody pressure you into something that you're not comfortable with, if you're not ready to leave your baby yet for an entire day or overnight, than don't.

Dove - posted on 04/10/2012

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The first time my oldest was away from me more than 2 days (occasional weekends w/ grandparents starting at 3 years).... she was 8 years old.

Dove - posted on 04/10/2012

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Yep. Totally normal. Mom's NEED breaks, but there's no reason those breaks can't come when your child is sleeping while she is still so young.



There's also nothing wrong w/ leaving her w/ someone you trust on occasion if you are ok w/ that. :)

Medic - posted on 04/09/2012

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To me personally I think it is odd....but I have friends who have 4 year olds and they have NEVER been away. I need a break from my kids because some days are harder than others and it is better for them to go elsewhere than for them to deal with my mood swings. They have been going to grandparents houses or godmothers houses since they were a few months old. The summer my son was 2.5 he went out of state with my parents for 8 weeks. I did miss him but he has gotten to do so much that I never got to do with my grandparents, same for my daughter.

Paula - posted on 04/09/2012

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I don't think that it is abnormal - there are some cultures where mothers physically carry their babies with them everywhere they go until the children are two or three years old.



That being said, the fact that you are asking makes me think that maybe you are ready to have some time alone from your daughter. Start small. Make an appointment for a haircut or a mani/pedi. Find someone to watch your daughter that you trust - your mom, sister, best friend etc. Then go have some lunch and go to your appointment. Relax and refresh yourself.



If that seems too hard, try this: Find out if your church or a church in your area provides child care during their regular services or if your gym provides a kids' club during class hours. Take your little girl there and drop her off. Go to the service or an aerobics class or whatever catches your attention. You will be in the same building as your child, completely available if she needs you but you will still get a chance to do something for yourself.



In order for your daughter to become a confident, independent child, she needs to know you are there to care for and protect her but she also needs to know that she can see you go away because you will always come back.



Take some time away from her - for her sake and your own. :-)

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