is it normal to feel sad about finding out the sex of your baby?

User - posted on 08/22/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




tomorrow we go in to find out the sex of our 1st baby but im so scared to find out. I want a baby girl so bad i know if they say its a boy i will break down in tears. This is my 1st pregnancy and we made the choice to only have one baby and i want a little girl. simply because i wanna have that mother daughter relationship me and my mom had. I'm glad my baby is healthy and i will love it regardless but is it normal to feel sad about finding out what I'm having?


Rebekah - posted on 08/22/2012




I think its normal to want certain things....its normal to feel disappointment when things don't turn out the way you hope they might. However, I think that the degree of sadness and disappointment is up to you. Knowing that gender is pretty much 50/50, then prepare yourself for the possibility of each instead of putting all your hopes in one place. Spend time talking to moms of little boys (especially if you find out its a boy) and get yourself excited for that possibility.

I speak as a mother of one, who also prefered a girl (for similar reasons as you, but I also never had brothers and didn't know what to do with a son!) and got a boy. I stayed open-minded, so I didn't experience sadness over having a boy...just having a baby at all can be overwhelming, so I immediately focused on the little person and giant job that I had at hand and threw myself into it. I love my boy! And we are super-close (ok, he's still 6...but hopefully it will continue!). And boys are so much fun. I might even be relieved to have a boy when I consider the drama that girls can bring.

But either way, celebrate the child that is on the way, pray for its health and smooth delivery, and, if you believe as I do, know that things happen the way they are supposed to and your child, boy or girl, is a specially designed gift just for you. Disappointment and sadness can be helped so much by working on perspective. Choose a perspective that is celebrating the child that is on the way. If it is a boy, look at it as an adventure with a lot of unknown joys and surprises. Over time, if you find you miss the mother/daughter connection, there would be other ways to meet that need if you feel you must. (mentoring programs, big brother big sister, fostering, helping out in other areas where children are....etc, nurturing other female relationships in your family--nieces, whatever)

Congratulations on your baby!

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