Is it ok for a college-educated hispanic woman be with a GED-only graduate hispanic man?
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Jodi - posted on 08/06/2013
I think you are placing far too much importance on the education of your partner, and not enough on his own merits. Honestly, my husband only completed high school to Year 12, and has never been near a University except for the day we went to the open day with his daughter. That's right, his daughter is currently valuing her education just fine, and yet neither her mother NOR her father have a University degree. I, on the other hand, have postgraduate degrees. Do I think the fact that my husband only has a high school certificate is a reflection on him personally? No, I don't. He has always been employed, he is a wonderful husband and father, and a degree won't necessarily change that.
On your question about whether you should bother with the relationship, well, clearly you don't consider him an equal, so maybe you should allow him to live his life without feeling inferior to you, because it sounds like that is how you will treat him - as inferior. He deserves a partner who loves him for who he is, not someone who simply wants to make him "better" in accordance with her values.
Denikka - posted on 08/02/2013
I'm with Firebird. Why should a person's education level have anything to do with how they feel about each other? As long as they love each other and have a good (non abusive) relationship, it shouldn't matter. Education levels can be easily changed.
Ana - posted on 08/06/2013
Thank you for your feedback. Seems like Firebird is perfectly happy being with her well-established boyfriend. It is true that in a relationship, there are multiple things to consider. However, I truly believe that when you tell your kids to do something, you lead by example. How could I tell my kids to take care of their education, if my own partner didn't want to take the GED until I finally convinced him he was capable of passing it!?! I am also concerned about the psychological stress we both will have. What will happen to our self esteem? (I may be wrong on this one) But it's easier for an uneducated woman to be with an educated men because there's less pressure on the woman. But for a hispanic man (or any man) not to be the breadwinner of the family, it is a huge deal and this causes many problems in a relationship. I guess my question really is, if I should bother with the relationship, if it means it's will be a constant battle of values. How can I expect my kids to honor the importance of their education if I'm not doing so, by expecting my spouse to pursue his education? Some people know going into the relationship, they won't go out with someone who smokes, or drinks, or whatever matters to them... I've always put an enormous value on education because the experience is a rite of passage. While education has never been of importance, the values one holds on education does matter and if someone is okay with having a high school diploma or simply a GED, it says a lot about themselves and what they will do to achieve their goals.
Firebird - posted on 08/02/2013
My boyfriend graduated from University when he was 16, he has an IQ of 177, he's a millionaire, done everything and been everywhere. I dropped out of high school half way through grade 11, I'm of perfectly average intelligence and I am a waitress who works for minimum wage plus tips. Why do you suppose someone like him would be interested in me? Because of the way I make him feel about himself. Throughout our entire friendship I have supported him mentally and emotionally, I have been the rock he's thrown his back against, I've always been there to pick him up, dust him off and send him back out in the right direction. He's an author and I've spent years helping promote his work.
I have loved him, made him laugh, kicked him in the butt when he needed motivation. I've been everything he's needed, and nothing at all, when that's what he needed me to be. The point is, that there's far more to be valued in a relationship than a person's education.
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