Is it ok for boy/girl siblings to sleep in the same bed?

Emilie - posted on 06/25/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son is 8 and my daughter is 4. My daughter has slept in the bed with me since she was 2, she has her own bed but will not sleep in it. Sometimes she still wants to sleep with me, but I flat out refuse to let her because she needs to sleep alone, but when I go into my kids bedroom (we only have 2 bedrooms in our apt.) she is in the bed with her brother. I have a little brother and sister that are 1 year apart and they slept together until they were 8 and 9 years old. Back then I found it disturbing for brother and sister to sleep together, but my mom thought it was fine. Now I am going through it myself I don't know what to think. And if I do tell them they can't sleep together what should I tell the kids why they can't sleep together?

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Jessica - posted on 06/25/2011

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I see no issue. My brother is two years younger and used to climb in bed with me. As he got older mom put a cot on the floor next to my bed, so he could still be close, but not IN bed with me. You could try that.... but please keep in mind that I was 7 and he was 5. We DID have separate rooms but ended up playing and sleeping in the same room anyway. Maybe try moving their beds together and see what happens from their? It might be that having someone their helps her nightmares or bad dreams... or plain just helps her sleep better. I do know, that because of it, we were close-nit siblings and even though we DID argue as all siblings do, we never hurt each-other except on accident a couple of times while wrestling on the floor when we were little (rough housing). As long as you know their is no (I am required to say this sorry) 'funny stuff' going on then ok. let them separate when they are ready. If you are worried about it then try putting the places that they sleep closer, and then wait. Anything you do won't work right away. patience is your best friend in this one. It isn't bad. I liked my brother sleeping with me because I liked knowing he was safe, and he liked sleeping with me because it helped his night terrors and he was a contact oriented kid (he needed the contact that came from cuddling up to me in our sleep). Do what you think is best, but please don't rush them separating unless absolutely necessary.

Neva - posted on 06/25/2011

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I think that your 2 year old needs to learn to sleep on her own. You can do a bedtime ritual with her, snack, bath, jammies on, brush teeth, potty if she is trained, then read a story in her bed with her. Tell her that she is growing into a big girl and needs to sleep in her own bed. Then tuck her in, give her kisses and tell her goodnight. If she gets up, simply tell her its bedtime and take her back to her own bed. The next time she gets up, no longer speak to her, but take her back to her own bed. If she keeps getting up, you may want to sit on the floor in her room and look at the floor. As soon as the little feet hit the floor, put her back, continue to do this without talking until she finally gets the idea that she might as well stay in bed, because you're going to put her right back anyway. She may cry, scream, try to get you to talk to her, etc. Resist the temptation. Just keep looking down and only get up when she tries to get up, then put her right back down. You can leave when she falls asleep. If she wakes up and gets up, repeat the process. Be patient and consistent, she will eventually go to sleep. It may take a long time the first night, but each night will be shorter, and pretty soon it won't be an issue. As to what you should tell your children about why they can't sleep together, just tell them that neither of them will get good enough sleep in the same bed, because they are both rolling around.

Elfrieda - posted on 06/25/2011

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Why not talk to your son about it? Does he mind? What does he think? I think it's kind of sweet, actually. After the talk with him, you might find you have more of a clear feeling about it.

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