Is it ok for me to give my bf a crfew

Stacy - posted on 07/10/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )




We don't live together but we are basically together 24/7 He was playing xbox with his friend and I told him to be home by 8! Was this wrong of me I live with my mom and we are with each other all the time! I have 2 kids not his kids but he does take good care of them! And I think its rude for him to come home and go to bed! So I said 8pm! He does work so he had 430pm to 8pm to play xbox! I don't allow him to do it all the time! Does anybody else do this give a crfewe?


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No, I don't think that's a good way to manage a relationship.

It's one thing if you have special plans for that evening and need him home. I often say "Hey, be home by 8 because we have dinner plans." or "I need you home by 8 because I'm going out with a girlfriend for the evening." These are usually things we've discussed in advance and I'm really just reminding him so he doesn't get carried away.

My husband is an adult, and I wouldn't be with him if I had to treat him like some irresponsible little teen. That said, Xbox can be addicting, and there was a time when my husband was playing a little more than he should. We came up with a compromise--He gets an hour after work alone in his office to do whatever he likes. This is HIS time, and it is very important to him--it helps him switch gears from work to family and not be so stressed out while he's trying to interact with us. I agree not to disturb him, and he agrees to come out after an hour is up. Most of the time, he comes out early, but he NEEDS his time, and he can't always wait until after our son is asleep.

Once our son is down for the night, we have more free time. Sometimes we spend it together, sometimes apart, but I don't force him to spend time with me when he wants to play a game or read a book. I don't have to! He loves me enough to choose me over those things 90% of the time, so I understand those few times he just wants time to himself. If you are having to force your bf to spend time with you, you might want to reconsider who you are with....he may not love you. That said, you also mentioned that you are together almost 24/7. That's not healthy either--no wonder he's trying to get away from you, he needs time for his own hobbies and interests too, and you need to give him space for them. If you can't find a healthy balance, the relationship won't ever work.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/10/2013




Ok, answer this: Is your boyfriend 2 years old?

No, it is not OK to impose a curfew on an adult.

Mary - posted on 07/10/2013




Even if you were living together I don't think is right. When my husband goes out to do even grocery shopping and he takes too long I give him a piece of my mind! But I don't ever give him a curfew.
I think you need to respect the time he takes to do what he likes. In all relationships you need to care for the other person and always be aware of people trying to get in the middle of it, but if it's to the point that you need him under your supervision or if you suspect he's taking too long maybe you need to consider what really goes on in your mind, and if it's worth it that you are paying too much attention to his time and not enjoying your time with your kids or even time for yourself

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/10/2013




Just like on your last post, if he is one of your kids, that is fine. He is your boyfriend. Having a discussion instead of giving him a curfew is more adult. Treat him like a child, he will act like a child, and he will leave.

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