Is it ok for my boyfriend to text my teen daughter?

Carrie - posted on 12/29/2014 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend is 11 yrs younger than I. He is 30 and my daughter is 16. My daughter is very much a loner. She doesn't talk to anyone much and spends all of her time alone. She had no friends to speak of. I have noticed that she has been texting my boyfriend frequently. A lot more than we text each other. They also spend most of the weekend together playing video games. I think it's very strange and think my daughter has a bit of a crush. I feel that our relationship has run its course but I am confused regarding my daughter. She will be heartbroken over the breakup. She is such an intervert that I don't want to take away the only person she talks too. So confused!! I'm also a boy creeped out over their relationship. Am I missing something ? Help!

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Dove - posted on 12/30/2014

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A 30 year old being friends w/ a 16 year old one on one when they are opposite genders is 100% inappropriate. Period.

If your relationship has run its course... end it w/ him and let him know he needs to stop contacting your daughter as that will only prolong the inevitable pain on her behalf.

Have you spoken to your daughter about possible counseling... getting involved in a sport or club that suits her interests? There isn't anything really 'wrong' w/ being a loner... but to have no friends or social outlets is unhealthy for everyone. Get her the help and support she needs asap.

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Ev - posted on 12/30/2014

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She needs to be around those of her age and with the same or similar interests. You need to encourage this too. There are others out there similar to your daughter.

Carrie - posted on 12/30/2014

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She is a very unique child. She has very different interests than anyone her age. She likes to spend most of her time alone. It worries me a lot. She also worried about what peoe think of her a lot and is paranoid that people are staring at her. Everything has always bothered her more than most people. I really worry about her.

Mommabird - posted on 12/30/2014

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Is your relationship "running its course" somehow connected to their closeness in friendship? There's only two reasons I can think of that he would be texting her so much. 1. He feels like a father figure and is being there for her when noone else is. or 2. There is something fishy going on. Do you know what the conversations consist of? Not saying its inappropriate conversations but Id check to make sure before confronting either one about it. But if you end the relationship with him its definately best she move on and find a friend closer to her age. A 30 yr old is not going to have much in common with a 16 yr old that makes them remain friends. Right now the only thing in common is You.

Ev - posted on 12/30/2014

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I am in agreement with Michelle. And why does she not have friends of her own from school or around the neighborhood?

Michelle - posted on 12/30/2014

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I wouldn't be encouraging them texting each other. I would be talking to your BF and letting him know that it not appropriate.
If your relationship has run it's course then you need to end it. In future it's best not to introduce any boyfriends unless you are going to make it permanent, it saves the heartbreak of the kids.
Once you end the relationship make sure you block his number from her phone so they can't keep in contact behind your back.

Neelam Kamran - posted on 12/29/2014

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if your daughter spending her time and even she had no friend then let her make friendship with him. but you have to pay your attention to your daughter lest her involve in love with him. You have to share some information with your daughter and would tell her about the values of friendship and sacrifices about friendship for each other in deed. so that she could not build any image about him in her mind. Being a teenage she can drive herself any other side (love). be close with your daughter and share with each other.

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