is it ok for your mom to spoil your 16 year old pregnant daughter and she gets handed everything and anything she wants

Felicia - posted on 10/22/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a 16 year old pregnant run away daughter she hasn't been in my home for over. Year she always runs to my mom and gets away with everything n gets anything she wants my mom allows her to live with the boy who got my daughter pregnant my daughter tells me off n its her life shes always been going to my mom how do u handle that kinda situation.

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Raye - posted on 10/22/2014

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If you want to be really nasty, you could call the police on your daughter (report her as a runaway) and file charges against her boyfriend (for harboring a minor runaway) and your mom (for contributing to the delinquency of a minor). File restraining orders against your mom and the boyfriend. However, if she hasn't been home for over a year, then YOU may get in trouble for having waited so long to report her. You could be charged with endangering or abandoning your child. If your daughter is not going to school, she is considered truant, and you could get in trouble for that too. Your daughter is your responsibility until she is 18, unless she files for emancipation and gets the court to recognize her as an adult. You really need to try to make her come home on her own.

Have you talked to your mom and told her that her behavior is inappropriate and illegal? Have you talked to your daughter about her life choices and told her that you love her and will help her with the baby? I would not suggest trying to keep the baby's father out of their lives if she does come home. If he wants to be involved, he should be.

You are in a really difficult situation, and my advice is to get them to go to counseling with you, or at least keep talking to your daughter and trying to get her to come home.

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Jodi - posted on 10/22/2014

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That's because she is 16. I know where I live, the family courts won't bother interfering because 16 year olds are considered old enough to make some of their own choices, including where they live. At 16, even if the boyfriend is older, she isn't considered a minor.

Personally, I think you are better off trying to develop a positive relationship with your daughter, as much as you disapprove of the situation. This way, you will at least be able to have a part in her life. If you don't do that, she could cut you out altogether. If you can develop a positive relationship, you will be able to have some positive influence of some sort.

Felicia - posted on 10/22/2014

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I tried everything to runaway charges talking to lawyers courts none seems to want to help they all tell me leave her out there my daughter turned real nasty n ugly towards me she only in contact with my mom i talked to my mom about my daughter's behavior she tells me leave her alone she still cares for my daughter n takes her right back to where my daughter stays and buy her everything n still supports her . But thanks so much for posting it was very helpful

Jodi - posted on 10/22/2014

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It's never ok to "spoil" a child. There is a reason they call it "spoil".

However, in many places, there is very little you would be able to do about it. The only suggestion I have is that you talk to your mum and try to reach an agreement.

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