Is it ok to have babies close together?

Kirsty - posted on 02/22/2010 ( 52 moms have responded )

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My baby is 5 months old. I've always wanted a small age gap between my children because i would like them to be good friends as well as siblings. Is it too soon to have another baby? Would i cope wth 2 tiny ones?! Does anyone have experience of this? x

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Alison - posted on 02/24/2010

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I am a mother with two kids close together. They are 51 weeks apart & it is wonderful. It was crazy when they were younger but so worth it. You are already doing diapers baths, etc with one & it is no different having 2. As for being friends & getting along, there is nothing that compares. My kids have a blast together and they have always had the same outside friends also. At school they know both sets of kids friends.
As for sports/activities we have been able to do both at the same time for swim lessons, soccer and other sports.
Even though they are close in age they both get to enjoy the activites they want.
Now they are 7 & 8 years old & would not change it.
Hope this helps.

Stifler's - posted on 09/05/2011

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I have 2 kids, 16 months apart. It's easy once you get the hang of it.

BethAnn - posted on 02/26/2010

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I am a mom of 2 girls age 7 and 10 and an Early Childhood Educator. Here are some things to think about.

I was friends with a girl who had a sister 1 year younger and 2 older brothers and 1 sister who was 7 years older. She said she was best friends with the older sister, and the one that was close to her age were almost enemies as kids, why? because there was competition with them. they were always on the same teams and groups. They never got any time away from each other, which is easier for the parents but it turned into a battle between them, even their friends...

Anyway my girls are exactly 3 years apart and they are the best of friends. they are 7 and 10. My oldest was toliet trained, sleeping through the night and a big help when her baby sister arrived.

How do you handle a bad day, or a sleepless night or a sick baby, because it WILL be worse if you have 2 babies in diapers, or sick.or 2 that don't sleep at night.. One of my friends said the what I think was a funny thing- she just wanted to get it all over with.. She had 3 kids in 5 years. ...Hey I thought I don't want to get it over with, I want to be able to enjoy every second of my kids lives. I know people that have babies close together their days are a blur, and then it is over with and they wish their kids were babies again because they felt like they missed it all. I remember how hard it was leaving the house with a very well behaved 3 year old and a baby. I don't think I would ever want to leave with 2 babies..

And what happens if you do have complications with your pregancy? What if you are bedridden with a baby at home... You never know how a pregnacy is going to go?

Do you want to have 2 babies in diapers? I had my oldest trained even before I got pregnant so I didn't have to worry about her regressing like I have heard some kids do when the baby comes along.

Does your husband take an active role in parenting? If he doesn't now it will be worse whne you have 2 babies...Just something to think about...

And trust me no 2 babies are alike... My first was pretty easy, slept and ate good, but my second was a good baby (although it did take her 1 hour to eat 3 ozs ) but when she stared moving at around 6 months, she was into EVERYTHING!!! And it was unitl she was about 5 that she sttled down.My first is so quiet and always did everything that she was told... Never go into trouble...Most kids do go through something when the new baby arrives... I thin when they are little bit older you can talk to them and reson with them. I don't know any 12 month old that can be reasoned with yet???

I also think you don't want to wait too long, My husband has asister 2 years younger and a brother who is 16 years younger and then you have 2 different families.... and a little spoiled to boot!!!!

Think hard and maybe wait till you have a bad day and then remember it will be worse with 2. If you can handle it...then maybe you are ready. I definiltly couldn't have handled 2 close together...

Nadine De - posted on 02/26/2010

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My kiddies are 18 months apart and it was a bit tought having absolutely minimal sleep the first while and boy can they constantly fight! but as the one goes through a stage I know what to expect from the other tantrums and potty training... and Steven the second is way less demanding than Alicia, guess that comes from mommy being busy with a toddler running around and baby basically has to fall in with the routine your second well in my case was a breeze its much less stressfull..

Jennifer - posted on 02/25/2010

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First off, I really appreciate what Christine Al. had to say about it being a personal choice that differs between people and families. I completely agree.

With that said, I am currently 5 months pregnant with my second child and my first is now 8 months old (there will be a 13 month difference in age once the second arrives and yes, it was planned). My husband and I had the same feeling about wanting to have our kids close together in age. I can say that at this point, I am grateful we took the route we did. With my first pregnancy, I was able to work 40 hours, was a part-time student at night and still managed to maintain a social life on top of all that. With this pregnancy, I noticed it took A LOT more energy just to keep up with my infant son and household responsibilities (I'm now a stay-at-home-mom). One nice thing about having them so close together in age is that I was able to put my son down for two-three 2 hour naps per day which enabled me to catch up on my sleep and that is how I got through my 1st trimester. Now that he's a little older, he doesn't require as many naps and won't go down as freely as he used to. I'm half way through my 2nd trimester now and have noticed a significant boost in my energy level but I have to say that those 3 months of pregnancy were brutal. I'm so grateful that I had such a cooperative baby that allowed me to have the schedule that I did.

However, on the flip side I will say that it's been challenging at times. My doctor has said that I shouldn't be lifting anything over 20lbs just as a general rule for all expectant mothers. My 8 months son is now at that 20lb mark and still requires me to carry him around since he's not yet walking. I've had to modify my life a bit and delegate that responsibility to others whenever possible which has been tough on me (I'm his mother and that's my responsibility, after all). I now only pick him up whenever necessary or hold him if I'm sitting down. I've been doing this now for about the last month and have noticed that though it can be challenging at times, it's getting easier since I'm more in that mindset.

I hope this helps and good luck with whatever you decide. Remember, it's between you and your significant other.

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Melanie - posted on 09/05/2011

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hi i have 3 girls one is 10 then i have a 3 year old and a two year old the youngest 2 are really close age gap 11.5 months exactly it took us along time to fall pregnant with second child and then we finally did it was an awesome pregnancy but when she was two months old i found out i was pregnant with my third i know they say to wait a year but clearly this was an accident and as much as it was hard at times the joy outways everything else they get along great most days lol and love each other alot and are very close same as my middle child and eldest its really a personal choice how close you choose to have em together at the end of the day they will best friends and not just siblings

Allison - posted on 09/05/2011

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I was 3 months along with Twins at my first childs birthday. They are 17 1/2 months apart. My oldest is a boy and the twins are boy/girl. It might be an adjustment at first, but worth it in the end. I wouldn't change it for the world. They are now almost 6 years and 4 1/2 years old.

Jessica - posted on 09/05/2011

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i have two kids that are only 16 months apart. but i don't think i could handle two young ones.

Kris - posted on 02/26/2010

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my son is 10 months old and im pregeant with our 2nd baby, which means jack will only be 16 months old, it wasnt planed to be this close togther and there is not much i can do now.... still happy about them being so close though

[deleted account]

My two oldest kids are 11 months apart! That wasn't intentional, but our third child is 10 months old today and I'm (intentionally) pregnant with #4 - 10 weeks today, haha! They will be two days shy of 17 months apart if baby comes on his/her due date!
My prenatal book has a little blurb in it that talks about age gap. It says a two or three year age gap is healthiest for mom's body, but research has suggested there is less or no sibling revelry or jealousy between siblings born 18 or less months apart.
I think, if your ready and your partner won't mind having another a baby so soon, then why not??? There's babies a lot closer to together in age than what your two will be and all those mothers did it, so you can too :)

Fiona - posted on 02/25/2010

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Hi, I have a 17 month gap and it was too close for us. I reckon that even a three month bigger gap would have made life so much easier - my oldest could follow instructions, make her needs known etc SO MUCH BETTER when she was about 20/21 months.

Our daughter was a dream but she was still a baby when her little brother was born. He has been a very difficult baby and I have found the going really tough (and did pregnant too - try vomiting all day with a one year old in tow).

I had antenatal depression while pregnant with my 2nd and have been having treatment for it. In my support group are 6 girls, four of whom have 2 under 2...make of that what you will!!

In the end it's an individual decision and you can see from the responses that it has worked for some and not for other...sadly it didn't for us but we're through the worst of it now and we have two wee darlings :o) Good luck with whatever you decide x

Nicole - posted on 02/25/2010

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i have 4 children. the last 3 are aged 1, 2, &3. lots of work, but lots of fun too. if you have even an ounce of the "i need my ME time" type attitude, then this is not for you.

Christine - posted on 02/25/2010

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I think it's up to you and what you feel you can handle, your body can handle, etc. What is for one mother, isn't for another. Everyone is different with how they want to have their families.

My two oldest brothers are less than a year apart and the same age for about 2 weeks. They were always close growing up, more like twins. When they hit the teenage years, they became competitive and it was pretty frustrating at times. But they are still really close as adults. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and I know she enjoyed having all her babies. I'm one of six. She had two boys close together, then 5 years later two girls close together, and then 2 boys about 6 years later that are pretty close in age. No, we all didn't get along all the time, but are we good friends with our closest aged sibling? Yes we were. Especially now that we are all adults, we're even closer now. But in my family it's just worked out we had a close sibling of the same gender which allowed us to have more things in common with each other. I will say that I'm a mother of an only child and I don't have a desire to have more. But one thing I do get sad about at times is that my daughter won't have that close relationship with a brother or sister that I have with mine. There is a special bond between siblings, at least in my family.

Emily - posted on 02/25/2010

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If your only reason is so they will be good friends, I recommend holding off. I have 3 siblings older than me. We're all 2 years apart and we all get along. The ones who are only 2 years apart fought a lot as kids, but not as adults. My husband gets along best with his sister that's 7 years younger than them. They may get along or they may not, but age difference doesn't determine that. Multiple in diapers at the same time is annoying. Some moms like having their kids close together, but I know more moms that like them spaced out 2-3 years.

Lindsay - posted on 02/25/2010

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My first son was 6 months when I got pregnant again. He had already been sleeping through the night for three months (yes, I was breastfeeding) and we couldn't wait to have another child. I was 30. My second pregnancy was "a breeze" and labor was super speedy-three pushes to deliver because by body had been "primed." Now we have two boys, 4 and 2 1/2 (16 months apart) and we love it! Yes, it's tricky at times, but only for a short period before the younger one can walk and enjoy more of the same activities. If you want your kids close together, go for it! My boys are the best of buddies--they always have a playmate. We go through the same stages pretty much at the same time. This fall, they will be in preschool together and they can't wait! If I had to do if over, I'd do it the same way again.

Alanah - posted on 02/25/2010

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I am 5 months pregnant with number 2, which will make them 12 months apart. The only reason we decided to do this is because our first child has been really cruisy, sleeps 11 hours at night and is always happy and laughing. If he had been a difficult baby I don't think we would have started trying for a second child so soon :)

Suzy - posted on 02/24/2010

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I have 3 girls all under the age of 5. My oldest is 3 years older than her middle sister and those 3 years were lovely as she had my full attention. She also loved to help me with her baby sister. When my middle daughter was 4 months old i fell pregnant with my third. It was very exhausting as my second child was still needing to be carried everywhere also my body hadn't completely recovered from my previous pregnancy. Luckily by the time i went into labour my second child was walking which helped alot as i didn't have to carry 2 babies around. I do feel guilty at times for my second child as she was still only a baby when most of my attention was turned to focus on a new baby. However i would never change any of it because this is my family and I do hope all 3 are close as hopefully age won't be too much of a factor. My answer is yes you will cope and that is because you have to and you don't get time time to think about it they will keep you busy. Good luck if you decide to go ahead and have another.

Mikensi - posted on 02/24/2010

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Frankly, I think it's between you and your man. I don't think anyone else's opinion matters. If you feel right about having another one, go for it! I have a 7 1/2 month old and had a feeling of getting pregnant again when he was 3 or 4 months old. (A rather sick feeling, lol). And, I think it's up to your kids to be best buddies. I wasn't "good friends" with my sister until I was 25 and she is 2 years younger than I am. I think it's all about their personalities. Siblings fight; the friends part will play in on its own. You can't make them be best friends. But, good luck to you in your decision! Get LOTS of extra help w/ #2!

Sara - posted on 02/24/2010

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My 1st 2 are 15 months apart. They are 6 and (almost) 5 We have our days. Some days the kids are the best of friends, on other days they get under eachother's skin. I'm pregnant with my 3rd right now, so the girls will be almost 5 years apart. I am 4 years age difference from my twin sisters and 9 from my brother. The twins got along awesomely and well, I had 1 twin that I got along w/ and one that grated on my nerves, my brother and I are buddies but we weren't that close growing up, I was more his babysitter than big sister. Each family is different, there are no guarantees that close in age siblings are going to be best buddies. I would not have changed our age difference on the 1st 2 but that is just me.

Paris - posted on 02/24/2010

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My brother has two lil' girls that are 11mths apart and from what I see it is very hard to deal with. I waited my daughter will be a few days shy of 4yrs old when my son is born. I wouldn't recommend having them to close because you need to experience the terrible 2's and 3's which will drive you nuts...lol...dealing with two kids going through it together will be crazy...

Ariana - posted on 02/24/2010

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2 of our girls one is 6 months and the other has just turned 2 , the older one has been so amazing and protective , just keep the oldest one involved . Kyrah would have a turn ( with our help ) at feeding Sam ,we have another 3 older girls as well kids are hard work at any age at least having them close together is more like a continuation of what you are already doing

Mary - posted on 02/24/2010

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yes mine are 13 months and they are very healthy. since you have always wanted that, try it and its good because the kids grow up together and they learn to share and to have a friendship.

Katherine - posted on 02/23/2010

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I don't think having kids close together will make for them being better "friends" as siblings. I am the oldest of 4 kids. I have 3 younger brothers who were born when I was 17 months old, 7 years old and 11 years old. I am the closest with the one that was born when I was 7 years old. Until recent years (now in our late twenties), the one that was born when I was just a toddler and I didn't want much to do with one another. I think it's more about personalities of the kids than the age difference between them.

My mom tells me it was hard to have 2 of us in diapers at the same time and I have watched several family members do the same with 2 kids under the age of 2. My daughter will be 12 years old when my next child arrives this Summer and has been the only child this whole time. My daughter is excited about having a sibling and wants to help with the baby when it gets here. Definitely couldn't have gotten that kind of offer (or ability) from her if she had been a baby or toddler when the next one arrived.

Ashley - posted on 02/23/2010

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my boys are 14 months apart.....and i wouldnt have it any other way. melissa my brother and i are 18 months apart and we are GOOD friends...it's not a joke. he comes over to my place on a weekely basis to see me, my bf and my two children. every once in awhile i go out and have a few drinks with him so no it's not a joke...siblings can be good friends i dont care what anyone says. as for having my pregnancies back to back...i had no problems. my 2nd pregnancy was actually ALOT easier than my first and a much easier delivery as well. is it tiring? absolutely it can be but even if you have a 4 year old and a newborn it's still tiring. my two boys are 8 months and 22 months and they play together all the time. there is no jealousy and never has been because my oldest doesnt understand jealousy. we were lucky to have a 2nd boy so any clothes were handed down to the baby. they are both in the same size of diapers. we used all the baby stuff we had for our first...the only added expense is formula and baby food. my oldest loves his baby brother. he always gives him hugs and kisses and will go get him toys or books to play with. if thats what you want to do i say go for it....i love the experience and wouldnt change it for anything. honestly i'd rather have my kids closer in age than further apart......

Marlene - posted on 02/23/2010

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If you are breastfeeding, they will naturally be appropriately spaced. If artificially fed, you may need to resort to artificially spacing. While having two kids close together may be just fine if you are well nourished, having a kid a yr will eventually wear out your reserves.

Christine - posted on 02/23/2010

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My kids are 3 years apart and I LOVE that gap. I feel as though I spend enough one on one time with my first born and she was out of diapers and bottles and binkies and blankies by the time second born came around, so we really enjoyed the baby stage again. Also, she was old enough to leave playing in her room while I put the baby down for naps. They are still very close and now that they are 4 and 1 they play together all of the time. You don't need to have babies 15 months apart in order to make them be "close" or friends. However, if you ONLY want 2 children, then maybe having them close together and getting the baby stage over with will work for you. I personally would rather cherish each of my babies early stages. Now matter what happens and when they come, children are a joy!

Cheryl - posted on 02/23/2010

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My eldest daughter has 3 children under the age of 6 and she gets so so tired running round after them all day. I know she loves them all to bits but she does say now that she wishes she left it a little longer before having more. It is hard work but it does depend on how you think you would cope and how much support you have. Besides which I don't think it helps your body having children too close together. I think it's a personal thing though so only you can say if you think you will cope :-) Hope it works out for you Cheryl

Donna - posted on 02/23/2010

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We had four children within 5 years. God gave us very good, healthy babies and they're still very close even though they're all grown. I never had two in diapers at one time. We had some friends who had their kids strung out and it got pretty stressful as they got older. It's easier to take the stress when you're young................and we were young enough they they kids were all gone to enjoy life...

Jessica - posted on 02/23/2010

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i found out i was prenant again just befor my son turned 1 year so thery will be about 20 months and i personally cant wait. his father and brother are 22 months apart and are Beast friends the closer in age they are the more they have in common and it is easier for them to be friends.it will be hard but having multiple kids how ever old they are is hard

Mary - posted on 02/23/2010

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My children were 15 months apart and it was horrible. My son was a very unhappy baby screaming all day and night and dealing with 2 children under the age of 2 was stressfull. My son ended up being diagnosed with a form of autism, was severely asthmatic and was hospitalized several times as a child. My oldest at the age of 3 developed type 1 diabetes. It was the most stressful time of my life. If you can be guaranteed healthy children then it's great. But if I had to do it again, I wouldn't.

Allison - posted on 02/23/2010

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I was 3 months prego when my first child turned one. Not only was I prego, but I was having twins. Then the twins were born my oldest was just 17 1/2 months old. Some days were tought, but I like having them close together. They are now almost 3 and 4 1/2 years old. I wouldn't change it for the world! Good Luck!

Jamie - posted on 02/23/2010

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i found out that i was pregant with my second daughter cirstyn on my oldest daughters kailyn's second birthday. i like having them almost three years apart. kailyn is a vey laid back girl where cirstyn is very demanding and it was nice that kailyn was old enough to help out with cirstyn. i wouldnt change anything about it.

Melissa - posted on 02/23/2010

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My boys are a pretty good age differance, 4 years apart. And this is the best way to do it! Number 1 not matter how far apart in age they are they will NEVER be good friends.. they will love each other and respect each other if they are taught to do so, but good friends is a joke.. if anything beeing that close in age would be really bad to do socially for them. If you have 2 of the same sex it will be a constant he/she stole my bf/gf. bla bla, and if they are opposite sex then they will want to date eachothers best friends and that always ends badly, but most importantly they will fight over their own friends.. Socially not a smart way to go if you can help it, and financially really bad thing to do for you. In this economy can you imagine buying 2 different size diapers, clothes, toys for both ages.. and everything else that comes along with that. And you are just learning and getting used to the ins and outs of a baby and you want to add more on top of that? Have you experiance post pardom? If not you might with the next, i did, and i couldnt imagine having 2 babies to carry around like that it was hard enough haveing a 4 year old and an infant..

There are alot of things to think about, and its a decision for both you and your husband to make together. You have read my opinion as well as different and different situations. Now if this is something you truely want you and hubby should sit down and go over it all, good and bad.

Good luck

Kristi - posted on 02/23/2010

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well first off, it hurts worse to lose a child that to have one. My oldest sister and I are 18 months apart. We grew up together and pretty much shared everything, even friends! We still are closer than any of my other 3 siblings. I knew that i would want my first 2 children close in age, so i started trying to get pregnant when my oldest was about 4 months old. she was 6 months old when i found out i was pregnant. I was hoping for a girl and thats what i got =] and my pregnancy went great, actually by having a toddler running around it probably saved me from putting on more pounds than i could have, i only gained 21 pounds total.. I have 2 daughters and they are about 15 months apart and they pretty much do everything together. they are 3 1/2 and 2 years old now. they share everything including clothes and they are always looking out for each other.and yes of course they fight over certain things, all silbings do !! I really wouldnt have it any other way. i kinda wish i would have had my 3rd child by now. only you can choose what is best for you and your family. good luck in your decision!!

Alison - posted on 02/23/2010

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My girls are 22 months apart and it has been super challenging (Julia is now almost 22 months). If I were to start over, I would spread them out a bit, but every child and every mom is different. For the record, I am very close to my sister who is 3 years older than me now that we are adults (which is most of our lives)...

Carianne - posted on 02/23/2010

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We are all making the assumption that you are going to get pregnant right away. You could start trying now and it could be 6 months to a year from now that a baby is conceived or longer. Conversely you could get pregnant tomorrow despite precautions.

My boys are 5 years apart and, in retrospect I wish I had had them closer together. They are not friends (although they do love each other) and they have very little in common. The whole "I want them to be friends" thing aside, my older son was just gaining his independence, doing things for himself when I got pregnant with the second one. We were free from diapers and toilet training and the constant need to hover when he was out playing with his friends and I was getting back into work, moving forward in the company and then I started all over again. I suppose it would be a personal choice & would depend on what type of support network you have but if I could do it over I would have had them closer together.

Angela - posted on 02/23/2010

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Hi I had 7 and a half years between my oldest and my daughter then when she was 17 months I had twin boys and when they were 3, I had twin girls they are quite close but it is up to each individual child, and as for if you will cope or not that also depends on the children

Serena - posted on 02/23/2010

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I am in this situation right now. I am 6 months pregnant with my third child while my oldest is 3 years and youngest is 7 months. So when my little girl is born, they will be 11 months apart. Maybe part of my mentality is influenced by the fact that we were done with two children, and this third surprise is a big wrench in our plans (we were planning on buying a house, sending our children to private school, etc). Don't get me wrong we are more than blessed having another but its going to take some getting used to. But I definitely did not want to have a set this close because of all the hard work. Its hard enough to have two kids no matter how far apart they are. In theory having two children in diapers is great, but you will end up wiping butt all day or at least feeling that way. It is hard to be pregnant needing your sleep and getting up in the middle of the night at least once for your other child.
We all have our own opinions on the situation, and it may be easier for you but I would check with your doctor first. If your doctor feels it would be okay to have another now and you guys are ready for it. My dr was not happy that I was pregnant so soon, and actually put me in the high risk pregnancy category because I just had one. Your body needs time to heal, and though I had easy pregnancies she's concerned with this one.
Overall it is your choice and whatever you decide will work out in the long run. Good luck

[deleted account]

My first 2 children are 15 months apart (now 9 and 8) and my youngest is 2 1/2 - I think that there are all kinds of pros and cons to both age gaps. I have time with my third that I couldn't give to the first 2, but the the two older had each other for companionship and are very close (when they aren't making each other crazy). Do what feels right to you, but make sure that you can do it safely. It really is your choice!

Melinda - posted on 02/23/2010

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There is relay no good answer for this everyone's body is different my oldest children are 18 months apart and my youngest two are 19 months apart. I never meant to have them that close together just happened that way. It is best to let your body recover from the first one first because it takes so much from your body when your pregnant that you do need to try to get back up to par first. With my last child they gave me a 50 50 chance of making it through the delivery and it was very scary but I did and all is well. And trust me it doesn't matter how close to the age the children are they will always fight and get along when they choose to. My kids are ages 10, 9, 2, 3 and they all fight and they all get along depends on how they feel that day so don't worry about the age thing they will still be friends.

Lori - posted on 02/23/2010

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my 2 boys are 13 months apart and it's not easy. it's very challenging and you're tired all the time. they are now 3 and 4 and it doesn't get any easier. Although it's hard, i don't think i would change things. i'm just blessed that i was able to have 2 healthy boys no matter how far apart they are. they are very close and could never live without each other. do whatever is best for your family. as far as being pregnant again right away, i never had any complications. i recovered quicker the second time around. it was definitely a better transition because you're already in baby mode... diaper...sleepless nights.

Katrina - posted on 02/23/2010

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My kids are 21 months apart and at times I think it is too close in age. Luckily I have a very smart daughter who before 18 months knew that mommy was having a baby and she would call him by his name. We also lucked out that she is very independent and loves to help us out all the time. The one thing I didn't think about is the fact that if your oldest isn't big enough for a toddler bed then you will have 2 in cribs and I really didn't want to buy another crib if I would only be using it for a short time. My daughter actually slept in her toddler bed for the 1st time the 2nd night we were home with the baby. I am glad they will be close in age but I think that if it was anything less thatn 18 months in age difference I would lose my mind.

Laura - posted on 02/23/2010

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I am in the same spot and quite frankly I want another little one. All of my grandparents and my husband's parents had their first 2 children really close together and all their kids ended up just fine and the mothers survived through it all. I know it is going to be hard but I think that getting my little girl someone else to play with and grow up with is going to be worth it.

Tonya - posted on 02/23/2010

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It doesn't have to be that close. I wouldn't go beyond 5 years, but my little sister and I are almost 4 years apart and we are best friends!! There were times growing up when we couldn't stand each other, but that is normal...it happens to everyone. Then again, she is pregnant with her third and the oldest will be 3 in May and the younger will be 2 in October. Honestly...I don't see how she does it sometimes, but she loves it! So ultimately it is up to you. If you feel strongly about it, do it!! I mean, of course it will be stressful, I get stressed with just my three year old and my stepson who is 13...but like I said it is up to you. You can get advice, but it is different for everyone. Do what your heart says.

Kirsty - posted on 02/23/2010

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My brother is 18 months older than me and we've always been like best friends. Another bonus to having 2 close together is we still have all the baby clothes and equipment. I think i've kind of talked myself into it. Although i'd like to lose a few more pounds before i start piling them on again!!

Pamela - posted on 02/22/2010

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I'm six years older than my sister, and four years younger than my brother, we all fought like cats and dogs growing up! Barely speak to him, and she's pretty much my best friend... Same as my hubby, he's closer to his youngest brother who is five years younger than he is, than he is with either of his twin brothers who are less than two years younger. Interestingly, the twins aren't particularly close, and, strangely enough, are the same age. lol! :) So age gap doesn't really affect closeness in the end.
Have your next baby when you feel ready to care for two, because they'll either get along or not by themselves. ;)

Becky - posted on 02/22/2010

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Yeah, kids are going to fight no matter what their age gap! That's just what siblings do. My husband is 7 years younger than his oldest brother and only 2 years younger than his next brother, and says he's much closer to the brother closer in age to him, because his older brother had completely different interests and was always off doing his own thing. There are 4 of us in my family and there are 4 years between the oldest 3 of us, and then 11 years between me and my baby sister. Although my littlest sister and I have a special bond, it's almost more like a mom/child bond than a sibling bond because I'm so much older than her and took care of her a lot. I'm definitely the closest to the sister I was closest in age to.

Kirsty - posted on 02/22/2010

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There are some really good points there and good advice. Maybe i was spoilt by an easy pregnancy last time, because i am quite happy to go through it all again. I am also of the opinion that i'm already in the baby zone and having sleepless nights so although another baby will be hard work, it's better for me than waiting a few more years. I think i'd feel like i was starting all over again just as my life was getting back to normal.
I'm fully aware that 2 children born close together are not guaranteed to get on thanks, but it's much more likely.

Kelly - posted on 02/22/2010

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I wanted my children close together - I had 3 in about 3 1/2 years and a fourth 6 years later. It was really hard to have 3 that close for about the first year and then it gradually got easier. Having 2 close in age was not nearly as much of a challenge as 3. My older 2 are boys and they are very close. It is nice to have your children interested in and capable of similar activities at the same time. Think about how difficult your pregnancy was (although each can be different), your personality (easygoing or stressed out?) and your support network (partner, family, friends). Do what feels right for you and best wishes!

Becky - posted on 02/22/2010

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Mine are only 19 months apart and it works for us. I didn't have any complications in my second pregnancy - in fact, it was a lot better than my first! Except that I did find some of the discomforts - like back and pelvic pain were stronger. It is a lot of work having them close together, honestly, some days, so much that it brings me to tears. But, being a parent is always a lot of work! I liked the fact that it was pretty much a seamless transition - I already had one in diapers and not sleeping through the night, so what was one more? I think for me, it would've been harder to go back to it after being done for a few years. And I like the idea that they will go through the different phases at close to the same time, and then, when it's over, it's over. I don't have to think, oh, but the next one will be hitting this phase in a couple of years...! A lot of parents have them closer together than mine are, and they make it work and say they love it.
But, only you know how you will cope. If you feel like you have the energy and are up for the challenge of some days, almost 24 hour parenting, and you have support from your husband and family, then go for it. If you have doubts about your ability to handle it, I'd say wait a while.

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The recomendation where I live is to wait 2 years, if you have them too close together you may experience complications in your pregnancy.

Abbie - posted on 02/22/2010

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I don't have a second child but as a person who has 2 friends with kids very close, from what I see is... its a lot of work! Its spendy with diapers and whatnot. But the thing that gets me every time is "i want them to be friends" Who says just because they are close they will be friends????? You don't get to decide that.



Another thing to consider is the effect on your body! Most doctors suggest at least 1 year. Right now your baby is probably not very active, but in the next months, that little one is going to start moving and groving along with teething. Do you really want to be overly tired from pregnancy and having to deal with a moving toddler?



We wanted to have our kids like 2 years apart, we couldn't because of health reasons, but now looking back part of me is thankful for that. There are things I would have missed out on if I would have had a toddler and a baby.



just my 2 cents.

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