IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A FATHER THAT WANTED NO CONTACTED OF HIS SON FOR 7 YEARS AND HAS A REALLY BAD CRIMINAL RECORD, AND NOW WANTS TO FIGHT FOR HI SON???

Jessica Maritza - posted on 10/08/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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WELL, HOW TO START. IM A MOTHER OF 3 AND IM MARRIED FOR ALMOST 1 YEAR NOW, BUT I BEEN WITH MY HUSBAND FOR ALMOST 7 YEARS. I HAVE A BIG PROBLEM AND I NEED HELP UNDERSTANDING. STARTING FROM 18 TO 20 YEARS BEING WITH MY EX-BOYFRIEND. ENDING IT WITH HIM IN 2007. BASICLY THE FATHER OF MY 7 YEAR OLD. HE STILL DOES LOTS OF DRUGS, IN AND OUT OF JAIL AND RECENTLY GOT OUT, BEATIN BE UP AND WHEN I WAS PREGNANT, VERBAL ABUSIVE, CALLED ME FAT AFTER HAVING HIS KID, SAID HE WAS NOT THE FATHER OF MY CHILD, DOES NOT WORK, SUICIDE WATCH, STALKED MY GRANMOTHER TO GET TO ME, CONTROLING AND LIES ABOUT JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING TO GET HIS WAY!!! THE FATHER NEVERD PAID CHILDSUPPORT OR DID NOT WANT TO SEE HIM, ALSO THE FATHER WANTING PATERNITY TEST IN 2009, BUT HE DID NOT FOLLOW THRU. NOW THAT IM MARRIED AND HAPPY WITH THREE BOYS THAT ARE IN SCHOOL. MY BOYS ARE UP TO DATE WITH SHOTS, MY OLDEST IS ON SSI FOR SPECIAL NEEDS, AND JUST UP TO DATE WITH OTHER DOCTORS THEY HAVE IN LIFE. IM NOT IN PEACE OF MIND THAT HE DOES NOT WANT TO LEAVE US ALONE. BUT CAN THE FATHER GET LEGAL CUSTODY OF MY 7 YEAR OLD AND KNOWING HE HAS ANOTHER BABY THAT HE IS NOT HELPING EITHER?? OF CORSE I GET WELFARE! BUT MY HUSBAND PAYS MY SONS CLOTHES, SHOES, RENT, BILLS, FOOD AND JUST WHAT EVER MY OLDEST NEEDS IN LIFE. ALSO CAN MY HUSBAND TAKE OVER LEGAL RIGHTS FOR MY 7 YEAR OLD, IF HES A IMMIGRANT WITH NO PAPERS. I FEEL AND SEE MY HUSBAND SHOULD TAKE OVER. HES A HARD WORKER THAT HAS A STEADY JOB IN INSTALLING CARPET ON HIS OWN, HAS A NEVADA ID, PUTS MORE FOOD ON THE TABLE, CLOTHES ON OUR BACKS. WELFARE HELPS, BUT NOT ENOUGH!! I TRUST MY HUSBAND AND I KNOW WE CAN SURVIVE WITH OUT WELFARE. MY HUSBAND HELPED ME GET AN NEVADA DRIVERS ID, HAVE 2 CARS AND SOON 3 FOR SUPPORT, SUPPORED MY SONS AND I WHEN I ALMOST DIED WITH LIVER DISEASE, AND DIABETES AND SUPPORED MY SICK MOTHER. MY HUSBAND DID AND IS STILL DOING SO MUCH FOR US.. PLEASE I REALLY IN NEED OF ADVICE AND WHAT CAN I DO??

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Tina M - posted on 10/09/2014

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I agree with Jodi and Evelyn. He has a right to aply for visitation and/or custody. Depending on the Judge he might get his day in court and you do not want to look like you were keeping him from his child, no matter what your reason. I also get the feeling that you are afraid of this man. He does not have the right to terrorise you. I am guessing he knows your husband is an illegal and is threatening you with turning him in. I have had a little experience deeling with his type. If he knows your husband is an illegal immigrant, he will turn him in because he has nothing to loose by doing it and everything to gain. Your husband has his life. He might or might not want it, but he is not going to let another man have it.

The best way to deal with him is head on. Get all of your skeletons out of the closet and take care of them so not to give him any more ammunition to use againsr you. Second, get an immigration attorney and go after your husbands green card Third get al l the info on your ex together and get a custody lawyer. Once you have a custody lawyer, you can request your ex go throuh him and you can file a restraining order so he can not contact you. You can also file for temporary child support.

I know you are scared of losing your husband and son. That is how your ex wants you to feel so he can control you. I also understand your finances are tight. Make any kind of payment arrangements you can with the attourneys, but do not do this without them. These are two of the most important things in your life. Be ready to fight for them. You get one chance to get this right. Good luck!

Ev - posted on 10/09/2014

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I agree with Tina on her points as well as Jodi's points. Tina, her husband is the one without the papers. He is here illegally.

As for your husband obtaining any kind of legal rights over the child, being an illegal he can not. And if they find out he is illegal, they can ship him home. Where would your life be then? You would have no financial support from him. Also if he was here legally and could get rights, the father would have to agree to sign rights over to your husband and the judge would have to agree.

Since there is no custody mentioned here nor child support you either need to get a lawyer and get something file now. If you are wanting to have the father have no contact with the child, then you better be getting together police records of arrests, charges in court, and time served in jail from all places he was arrested for those things. If he is doing drugs that is another set of documents you need to prove he is unfit to be around the child. Else without that, the judge could grant up to 50/50 custody that is joint custody. And as Jodi said, he has just as much right to his as you do. Also check your states abandonment laws, because sometimes some states have it set up that after a period of time, the parent that is absent can loose their rights because of that. Also a few other items, your husband needs to get his legal papers done and I do not know how he got a state ID without them or how he is working at all unless his employer is doing covering up the fact that your husband is illegal.

Tina M - posted on 10/09/2014

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You are not a bad mother. You need to first relax and take a deep breath. Now, think about this logically not emotionally. This is not a simple request for advice on how to handle a child acting out. This is serious and you need to be sure to get correct information on how to handle it. The best thing you can do is contact a lawyer. Make sure to bring up the lack of support, the fact that he has made no attempt to have a relationship with your son, the fact he is in this country illegally, and that he has a criminal record relating to drug use. With all this behind you and the fact that you currently have physical custody should be enough. Judges do not like to take children from their mother unless their is a question of if you are an unfit mother.

Best of luck.

Jodi - posted on 10/09/2014

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So let me get this straight. Your husband is an illegal immigrant? No way he's getting custody.

You never got custody papers for your child? In that case, his father can absolutely walk back in his life an apply for some form of legal custody. Whether he gets it or not is another thing altogether, but he still has a legal right to file for visitation. If he is trying to contact you for visits with his child, he is doing nothing against the law. If you are denying him that, he will probably continue to contact you, this is why he won't leave you alone. That's his son.

Jessica Maritza - posted on 10/09/2014

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I WANT NO VISITATIONS TO SEE MY SON OR WANT THE FATHER TO HAVE NO PART OF MY SON LIFE.. I DONT WANT THE FATHE TO GET LEGAL CUSTODY OF MY SON. I KNOW IM A BAD MOTHER, I JUST WANT MY SON TO BE SAFE

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