Is it Possible to be a passionate mom AND love fashion?!

Leigh - posted on 07/27/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Im a 23 year old first time mommy! I have always had a passion for fashion and makeup! Our daughter will be one in a month. Since I had her, Ive only done for her, some say that is "SO GREAT" while others say you have to keep up with yourself too or "Ill lose my mind"! I believe in a balance, but I just haven't found it yet (; Id love advice and even chat with moms that feel the same!

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Jenny - posted on 07/28/2013

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Sometimes we get caught up with the idea of balance because that sounds healthy.

However, the truth is that we need nurture situations as they arise. Everything has its time. I know one year is a long time to have waited for things to have settled into a balance and for it to not have reached that place is frustrating and you are probably wondering how much longer it will take.

Keep hanging in there and it will get easier to find that balance. At one years of age children are still very dependent on us so it is natural that you are still having to invest a lot of time into nurturing her. This is just a phase in your life though. You still have years and years ahead of you to pursue your career and passions and it is okay if you have to take up-to 5 years of that not being a priority, as in the over all picture of your whole life, it will be balanced :)

I'm not saying to not do anything but nurture your child for 5 years, but definatley don't beat yourself up if you are having trouble dedicating the time you would like to that passion. It is totally normal for someone with a one year old to have a family heavy work life balance.

Keep looking at work/passion/family balance as a picture for your whole life, not as something that has to stay in balance on a day-to-day basis.

As for incorporating your passion into your life, with the above in mind, look at where you would like that balance to be at in a couple years time and slowly work to achieving that with small steps instead of looking to achieve that balance right now. Slowly merge your fashionista side into your passionate mom side. Its only natural that with the birth of your daughter your mothering over took your responsibility towards fulfilling yourself through your passion in fashion. And its natural for the balance to stay heavy on the mothering side in the first years of a child's life until they become more independent.

Try to incorporate your passion into your life at a small scale for now, i.e once a week spend x amount of hours on this. And then asses how that went and if its a realistic expectation for where your family is at at this point in its overall growth and everyone's sanity levels as to whether you need to increase or decrease this time. Only you and your direct family can dictate what works for you all.

Jodi - posted on 07/27/2013

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Of course it is fine to have a work life and to follow something for yourself. But that is your choice. If you don't feel the need to, then that's ok too.

Leigh - posted on 07/27/2013

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Not really a question as much as a conversation... I want to know that it is fine to have a "work" life which is actually my passion and a family life. Right now I only have one. I am a wife and a mother, I havent taken that time to set aside and stay connected with myself. I feel like I am missing out if I go to work or if we take a date night. This is our first child so maybe its just the "newness" of it!

Leigh - posted on 07/27/2013

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I think that my center is really My Daughter.. My family time.. But the more "comfortable" I guess I should say- as a parent I become I feel that I can pursue my job again (which I LOVE) and even have date nights with my hub. For these past 11 months I had anxiety and separation anxiety even at the thought of involving myself in anything that she wasnt. I am now growing as a person, as an adult really, a parent, a wife and especially emotionally juggling it all...

Geri - posted on 07/27/2013

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Im an older mom.Of course that is relavent but if your baby is a month old Im sure you are consumed with her needs. It may take a while for you to find your balance. I think Ethan was about 5 or 6 months that I felt comfortable attending to my own needs.If you believe in balance then that is what you need to do. Don't stop doing things you enjoy.After all your a role model to your daughter and it's important that she sees mommy taking care of herself and that's ok.As shes older she will learn to value the person she is and develop interests of her own. In this hectic world we need to have something that centers us. For some it may be giving up all things and if that's what centers them....great. For others its a balance in devoting time to different aspects in life.Good luck!

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