is it right for my kids to call there sptep mom aunt?

Laura Jorge - posted on 09/15/2014 ( 10 moms have responded )

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my ex and I have had many talks about what he wants the girls to call his wife.and at first he wanted them to call her mom and I said no way that's so disrespectful to me I would never make them call my husband dad he got mad over that but then he said they had to call her tia that's aunt in Spanish.but my kids r 9 amd 10 and they asked me hey mom is tia norma my dads sister.i said no they said well y do we call her tia??what do u guys think help me plz

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Misty - posted on 09/15/2014

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I am with you. I think that its not a good idea for them to call her mom. I also think it's not a good idea to call her Tia. That looks like that would confuse the kids and those around them. I am remarried and my 1st child calls his stepfather by his given name and it works out well they love each other as if they are blood. Maybe the kids can come together and pick out a nickname for her that everyone can agree on. :)

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Cora - posted on 09/17/2014

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You could try asking the kids what they think about the whole thing, as a Mum whos older Girls have a step Mum and being a step Mum myself I know how as a Mum,our feelings can cloud our judgment when it comes to another "Mum ..Stepmum" entering the picture, honestly what ever your children call her whether it be Mum, Aunty, Tia, or what ever at the end of the day who does it really hurt? you or the kids. Your children have the chance to be enriched by another human being in their life that has promised to love them by being with their father. If you can respect her for that you will see how unimportant her name or what the children call her is. The children will always view you as their no1 no matter what. I think you will find the Kids will eventually come up with their own name special name without even realizing it. Good luck!

Gena - posted on 09/17/2014

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When i was a child we called our parents friends aunty and uncle,in our culture its normal. Its being respectful towards an adult. Not every person though(not every person my parents knew),only good friends. I personaly dont see a problem with your kids calling her aunty. But thats just my personal point of view.

Dove - posted on 09/16/2014

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At 9 and 10 they are perfectly old enough to understand the relationship between their father and his WIFE... no matter what she is called. Quite frankly... what they call her when they are w/ her is really none of your business. This is a discussion between your kids and their father and their stepmom... Hopefully they will come up w/ something that makes them all content.

Leela - posted on 09/16/2014

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I really don't see the problem and frankly you're making a big deal out of something that's none of your business. Now if they were calling her 'mom' I would understand your concern. My suggestion is to have your ex and step mom sit with the kids and let them come up with a name. Btw I know quite a few kids who call their step mom 'aunty''. In some cultures it's the norm.

Chet - posted on 09/16/2014

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Since the kids are 9 and 10 they really are old enough to have a say in this. What do they want to call their step mom?

And how does the step mom feel, because so far, this discussion has been about you and the dad. It should really be about what the kids and the step mom are comfortable using for names.

Shawnn's right too. In many cultures titles like aunt, uncle or grandma are used for non related people to indicate a relationship that is as close and respectful as if if they were family. Although sometimes people will use a variation - like Aunt Mary is mom's sister and Auntie Jane is mom's friend who is like an aunt to us... or Grandma Smyth is our grandmother and Nanny Anna is the older woman next door who is like a grandma to us.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/15/2014

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You obviously didn't read...Its perfectly all right, and as I stated, IN SOME CULTURES its perfectly normal and a term of respect.

Laura Jorge - posted on 09/15/2014

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i honestly don't think its ok they don't call my husband uncle they call him by his name that's more respectful..then to have the kids think the person ur married too is a family member my kids have asked me if that's there dads sister
that's not right

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/15/2014

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In some cultures, the terms 'aunt' & 'uncle' are not only familial relationships, but also indicate a respected elder outside the immediate family.

My kids called their caregiver 'Auntie Beth' when little, and all of our very close family friends are 'aunt' or 'uncle'. Its not confusing to the kids, as long as there's some explanation that goes along with it.

Eventually, the kids will come up with their own name for their step parents, one that they are comfortable using, and that will have a special connotation for the relationship.

Laura Jorge - posted on 09/15/2014

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that's what I keep telling him not only is it wrong but my girls have asked me if that's his sister

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