Is it right to go out on Christmas eve and leave your child to wake up without you or presents on Christmas morning?

Lorraine - posted on 12/27/2011 ( 108 moms have responded )

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Parents are no longer together. The father gave money towards the childs presents they were all then bought by the mother and kept at her home. On Christmas eve the child went to her father for what they understood was to be for the day. When they tried to contact the mother she did not answer the calls. The child went to bed crying and upset just before midnight knowing there would be no presents for her when she woke up. Mother arrives next morning at 9.00am to take her home to open her presents.The whole family are angry and upset by this treatment of the child and the fact that the child was upset a number of times throughout the day. Are we wrong to feel this way, is this an acceptable situation

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Joanna - posted on 12/27/2011

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I share custody of my son and my question is, why couldn't the dad make sure the kid had at least one gift to open at his place. Sounds more like poor planning to me.
On the other hand, as a mother, if I saw that the father of my child was calling I would answer just in case it was an emergency.

So while she should have at least picked up the phone, the dad knew he was going to have the child Christmas morning so he should have had one or two small gifts or a stocking for the kid to open. Both parents are at fault.

Dawn - posted on 12/27/2011

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after numerous readings and some clarity it my understanding you are the girlfriend or a close member of the family? Am i correct?

My question for you is who told the child there would be no gifts?

Weather it is acceptable is not to be approached. Through our childhood we seek love, with this know from the mother is it pain, love or revenge the night before?

It is not for the the family to get involved but to love the child and console them weather there is presents or not. If the child was saddened the night before it was because the situation was of blame towards the mother. If blame wasn't there then the situation would gravitate towards understanding. What is the best gift you can give a child? How about that gift of what God gave us? Life..... Something to think about.

As for the other answers no, the mother is not a selfish bitch... she is just learning a behavior that has been given of her in the past. We do the best with with the past we have been given. This is whats separates us from good vs evil.... Is the mother evil? that is up to you.... Focus on the WIN situation. Whats important now...... A hug, a heart and endless appreciation of life given to her or that little women who can give this lesson to her children. I know this will give light to the situation and Merry Christmas!!!!

Linda - posted on 12/28/2011

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Well...if this happens all the time, then the child's father should expect it and be prepared for it. Why were you/he surprised when the mother behaves like this frequently? EInstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome. Why did the father give the mother money and not just buy the present himself? I would want to see my child open the present from me regardless of my marital situation. It seems to me like the family just needs to gather around this girl and love her. Be prepared with extra changes of clothes/school supplies/toothbrush/etc at the father's houise. Don't waste energy on the behavior of someone who you CANNOT change; spend your energy on loving that little girl.

[deleted account]

If this is a regular occurence and the mother is truly a crappy mom, and the child is 8, then the father needs to have the foresight to PLAN AHEAD for the mother's shitty behavior and selfish tactics. It's really that simple! WHY is it that moms can complain about a deadbeat dad and plan accordingly, yet when tables are turned, it's an uproar? The mom is a deadbeat mom, it's that simple. The father knows this, and needs to plan for it.

Lynn - posted on 12/27/2011

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I think the mother was very selfish, and made a horribly irresponsible choice. I hope the child is too young to remember this in a few years.

Christmas morning, 2003, I had planned to have a wonderful morning with my husband and 2 1/2 year old son opening presents, and then my whole family, and several friends were coming over for dinner. Well, my water broke at 10 a.m.! I still stayed home until later that afternoon, because there was NO way I was going to miss spending Christmas with my son-not even while in labor!

My daughter was born at 11:11 p.m. on Christmas night, and since I'd had an emergency c-section (she was breech) we had to stay in the hospital for two days! We had Christmas dinner a few hours after we were released from the hospital. I missed my son terribly, and hated to be away from him for so long!

If I wouldn't leave to go have a baby, there's NO EXCUSE to do it intentionally! Unless that mother was in a bad car accident, there's just no excuse for not putting your kids first in your life!

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Rachel - posted on 01/02/2012

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I don't see what presents have to do with anything. But then again, my family doesn't do presents, so when the stepkids come to dad's house, they don't get any; spending time as a family is what we do. They get presents at their mothers house. In this situation, It seems that the time she was at Dad's was their time together and not Mom's and maybe that is why Mom didn't answer her phone. The kid seems confused about the situation and no one set them straight on what was going on. I don't like that the kid was crying over presents, it seems silly, Dad should have talked to her about it, maybe he did.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/02/2012

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Lorraine, you're right I was confused in the OP. But both parties need to communicate better in order to keep the child from being hurt.

Furthermore I agree with Jodi that it shouldn't be left up to the child (no matter what age or maturity level) to convey things to an adult. As an adult both mom and DAD should take part in keeping communication open.

Jodi - posted on 01/02/2012

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I just think mum and dad need to communicate better. It shouldn't be up to the child to even tell you that mummy was picking her up that night. It should be very clearly discussed between the two parents. It appears to me it wasn't very clear. Sorry, I understand you are on your son's side of this, but I think you have to open your eyes to the fact that he is also part of the problem. I am not condoning what has happened here by any means, because the entire thing is unacceptable, but dad has to own his part in it too. You can blame mum all you like, but they BOTH have to step up.

Lorraine - posted on 01/02/2012

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I feel as though some people are not understanding what I am saying The child is a very mature 8 year old and she knows when she is staying over at her fathers and when she is not The father has always bought his presents in the past but things in terms of agreeing care of the child had been going well so he let his guard slip. The child knew that dads presents were at her home and would not have been unusual for the mother to turn up late to collect her, sometimes after her bedtime and as late as 2 am

Dana - posted on 01/02/2012

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This doesn't sound like a communication problem to me! There's no excuse for her not answering her phone. It is my experience, that although there may rarely be times that someone cannot answer their calls, it is very probable that she didn't answer them on purpose because she was doing something she wanted to do, that she hadn't informed anyone else about. For her to sacrifice her daughter's happiness on a day that is so important and magical to children, and for her to know this, shows extreme selfishness! There are VERY few legitimate reasons for this. If her circumstances had included one of these legitimate reasons, I do believe it not only would've been included in the post, but the post wouldn't have been here to start with. If the mother had went into labor, or been in a bad car wreck, or had a flat and got stranded, or whatever, those would've been legitimate reasons. But the mother showed up without this type of reason, to take the child home to open presents like she didn't just devastatingly disappoint this child??! No, this mother didn't CARE. A child doesn't need a "parent" that acts like an unaccountable CHILD herself! If I were the father, I would not trust the mother anymore to do what she says she's going to do, because she DUMPED her child on Christmas Eve! Come on - who does that?! If I were the father, I would confront the mother about this, but push comes to shove, they still have this child together for many more years, so if he cannot reason with her - if she gets mad or defensive, or lies - then he may just have to make a decision to take it into his own hands next time there is an important holiday and he has his child, that he will make sure there is something there for her, that he has his own plans, even if it's not as elaborate as the mother's, to celebrate or provide for the child (sorry for the long, possibly run-on sentence lol.) Also, I think I might consider, depending on the age and maturity of the child, to confess to her that sometimes adults make mistakes and do things - or not do things - that they later regret; but you obviously don't just stop loving somebody, so you have to forgive them, and move on, hoping (and knowing) that the future will bring good things, and to look forward to those. Sad that a child has to learn grown-up lessons, because the grown-ups won't act grown. As much as it may chagrin us, the "other" parent may have to be much more adult about this situation that the transgressing parent, for the sake of the child (that happens in marriages too). So, I say all this to say, yes, I do think she was being a selfish b****, and there's no excuses for her! There's no rationalizing this, no excuse for this. Sorry for the long rant, but this made me so angry! Maybe because I have seen so much of this behavior before, but that is exactly what makes me so sure that this mother's motives were not pure in any way.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/02/2012

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First off if he is paying child support, the mom can buy her own presents. The father should have bought the presents him self so that she could open them that morning. No you are not wrong to be angry. It doesn't sound like the mother is doing her job. Together or not it's time for him to step in and say something. I would.

Jennifer - posted on 01/02/2012

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Response to Joanna, I read the original post to state the child was suppose to be there only during the day of Christmas Eve and not spend the night at all. Thus the child would have awoke at mom's with the gifts from dad that he gave the money to mom for. The mother is completely the problem from the way the story was written but there could be more to the story.

Jennifer - posted on 01/02/2012

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@ Carrie Allen, I TOTALLY AGREE. these parents need to stop fighting and grow up, and the grandparents need to keep out of their ADULT children's lives.

Jennifer - posted on 01/02/2012

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Sadly this sounds like a set up to me. The parents are playing the child to get to one another. Why did the child know there would be no presents? Who told her? If she asked herself why was there no ADULT there to figure out a reasonable answer to why there were no presents. Why is this little girl so freaked out over presents? If the mom didn't answer calls it seems she there are some issues there otherwise why would she not answer the calls. Who agreed to these visitation agreement? Why did the father pay towards the presents and not have ANY of them at his home since the child would be there in the morning? I know separation and or divorce are ugly but don't drag the kids through it. If the mom is being selfish be the bigger person, if the father is being selfish or vindictive stop it! The child did not choose to be in this mess so stop making them suffer.

[deleted account]

If that's what they decided together, yes. But they wouldn't be just her present they would be from both and therefore the child should be told this and they should open them together as a family even though they aren't together. Put your differences aside for the day for the well being of the child. The following year I suggest the father gets to buy the presents and have them at his home.

Carrie - posted on 01/02/2012

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@ Lorraine Pasa-lindsey, your comment further down the thread has made me feel the need to speak up on this. My own parents played their versionn of this game when they separated, & subsequently divorced (23 years ago). For their efforts they have 2 daughters who detest one another, & a son who stays away to avoid the bs. If Mom doesn't send clothes she obviously feels Dad should have things for their child in his home for her when she's there. And if it's a constant issue, then you & dad need to go shopping. And if Dad knew all of the gifts would be at Mom's Chriatmas morning then he should have either had his own gifts at his home, or been unselfish enough to have some at his house in the morning also, or let her go to Mom's a day early rather than have her stay the night at his house because it was "his time to have her". Most importantly, Dad shouldn't have made such a fuss in front of her, & just said Santa would be leaaving her gifts off at Mom's. This sounds a lot like the garbage we were put through, I wonder does dad withhold support (or a portion of it) when b-day gifts are purchased, or school trips, and so are on chipped in for? You guys really need to find a way to be decent to one another for the child, & only speak to one another on these matters. If not your daughter will be 36 years old remembering how immature all the grown-ups were all her life :)

Kester - posted on 01/02/2012

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My first thought is to wonder if the mother is ok. Perhaps she is depressed or overwhelmed. There are a lot of mums who think it is unforgivable to leave your child on christmas morning. I wonder if she will ever forgive herself.
Maybe dad should have bought his own presents rather than giving money to mum and making her do the shopping.

Odette - posted on 01/02/2012

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We forget the purpose of Christmas; to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. He is the reason for the season!! We need to reorient our children and not focus on gifts! Pray for both parents and the child. We need to LOVE.

Michelle Wendy - posted on 01/02/2012

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no its wrong to feel this way about what has happened,its not fair to the child eirther, best of luck in the furture

Robin - posted on 01/02/2012

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We shouldn't judge unless we know the situation. The child may go home to a beautiful lit tree and Christmas music and a whole lot of love!! She surely bought presents that dad gave her money to buy. She just didn't want to open them with the father. We don't know the story. He may have visitation from the courts for Christmas eve with the child more than likely.
She seemed unhappy about the situation.
The father and his family should have got presents at his house for the child to open in the eve of Christmas!! It seems to me the mom was upset that the courts ordered her to give the child to dad Christmas eve.
She probably used the child support for the child's gifts..
Dad's seem to always say, I gave you child support for gifts!! That way they don't have to buy for there child. The child support mom gets it suppose to put a roof over her head and food on the table. It is not enough to buy gifts.
I am sure her family is going to be there for the little girl..
LOVE Robin .. Think before we judge. Let love lead people...

User - posted on 01/02/2012

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The mother was, at best, thoughtless in her treatment of her child. While I can understand messing up on the present thing, to some degree, being unavailable by phone when the child is in another's care is beyond excuse. The fact, that at Christmas, she was more concerned with her own plans rather than the needs of her child, shows what kind of mother she is choosing to be. She needs to understand that even if she is hurt or angry regarding the divorce, those are issues and emotions that should be dealt with separate from the child. The divorce causes enough pain and confusion for a child without parents acting stupidly and allowing their child to pay the price for it.

Leah - posted on 01/01/2012

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I can't think of a culture, situation, or personality that would find this behavior ok. To me personally, it seems like the irresponsible, not to mention abusive, behavior of a selfish histrionic girl. She cannot be concerned for her child's welfare, well-being, and happiness and behave that way. It's appalling. Just the thought of intentionally doing something selfishly that would make my daughter sad. Just biologically being a mother doesn't make a woman a "good" mother. I would love to think that what she did was in some way unintentional, but from the way this post reads, doesn't seem like that's the case. I hope she's ashamed of herself, but I doubt that too. So I'm going to go give my daughter a hug and hope it doesn't wake her up, and I'll also hope that there is someone willing to hold that woman responsible for the damage she's doing or that child is going to grow up to have more issues than Time magazine.

Natasha - posted on 01/01/2012

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I'm the future I suggest that the parents buy separate presents for the child as things don't appear amicable at the moment. It could be worse thou my ex has not seen or sent his kids anything. For three years - his choice he has just walked away. One thing I have learnt thou is to be honest with your kid, don't make excuses or white lies about the situation but try not to get angry around her either as it doesn't help plus it's important to remember there are plenty of kids in the world who got nothing at all this yr for Christmas and are indeed lucky to have food .

Alicia - posted on 01/01/2012

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Presents should be left at both places that way lil girl would be happy and both parents butts would have been covered

Helen - posted on 01/01/2012

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I have to say I am also wondering that now... but again, we do not know what the exact arrangement was and cannot jusge.

Helen - posted on 01/01/2012

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Sjoe! It is very difficult to say. I hate to judge others. What could the mom's motivation/s be? I get mad when children are hurt, but I also have a strong sense that something else is going on here. Perhaps you guys need to sit down with the mom and calmly find out what is going on. Take a 'negotiator' if you have to. What was the arrangement? That the mom would pick the little one up at the end of the day? If so, and the mom was sure of this, then she was perhaps injudicious. I would still find out what was actually going on here. I hope the little one is not being used to hurt the dad - maybe this is an attempt to get him back?

Stephanie - posted on 01/01/2012

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ITA we don't have enough info to make any judgment. People play all kinds of screwy games, no telling who is the game player here...sadly the child is the only one that seems to be losing. Sounds to me like BOTH parents need to get it together.

Trish - posted on 01/01/2012

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You are never wrong to feel an emotion. It made you angry and no one can tell you how to feel. Is it a rough situation? Yes. Was is fair to the child? I don't feel that it was fair and it's heart breaking that a child would think that santa didn't come to them. Was I bad? would be a childs first though. Is it right to make a child feel like that? no. I am sorry that your family has to have that happen. I wish I could offer a solution but i am not an expert.

Ashley - posted on 01/01/2012

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That sounds like a whole lot of selfishness and it isn't right!!! prayer!!! That's the key! The lord will show her the error of her ways!!!

Lisa - posted on 01/01/2012

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Lorraine, I applaud you for your part in trying to make things easier on your grand daughter, that's what grams are for; with that being said I really think that your son needs to document all this behavior (and you could do it as well) & take it to court- especially if he can take her on a full time basis. It's heart wrenching for a child to go through this disapointment on a regular basis but she needs to know that daddy & the rest of his side of the family have been there all along. She will get to an age that she will turn her back on her mother and realize that daddy's little girl is the best title.
I went through this w/ my son's mother- except he was only 18 months old- she took off and just left him on my doorstep w. clothes that would fit a 6-9 month old & she never left me any $ for anything for him. I went to court to become his legal guardian b/c the birth mother "needed to find herself" & then moved 1200 miles away. She came back when she couldn't get a hold of his birth father (who went to prison for assault) and then came to my house to take the baby away from me (when I was already his legal guardian) she even called the police on me saying that I kidnapped her son. When the police arrived, I let them in my house and they questioned me about the baby and I told them- she abandoned him 6 months prior and this is the first time that I had seen/heard from her & now she wanted to kidnap him from me. I showed them the documentation that I was his legal guardian and they told me to remain in the house. The officers didn't know how to handle this case and had to call the chief to ask him what they should do- chief told them that if they wanted to lose their jobs, then they could give him back to the birth mother, but it would be in their best interest w/ the dept to keep the child where he was. She wasn't happy w/ that answer & decided to take me to court. The judge sided w/ me & she took off. (Fast forward 5 yrs later) my husband (who is not the little guy's father, because he too; took off and is in hiding) & I are looking to adopt him and now the state has found her and she is forced to pay me child support for him - she isn't happy....
The reason why I tell you this story is b/c she wasn't the mother he needed. He missed out on 18months of nurturing & bonding w. his mother and now suffers from all sorts of issues. He has been diagnosed as having reactive attachment disorder as well as ADHD & other things.
This little girl needs consistancy in her life & therapy now. If dad can take custody- go for it before it's too late. She will grow up resenting her mother and only God knows where that will lead her... I will keep her in my prayers- Good luck I hope this story helped you as much as some of the comments made here.
God Bless

[deleted account]

It seems that we have heard the story from the father's side of the family. I am definitely NOT supporting what the mother did, but do we REALLY know that the agreement was for the mother to pick up the child on Christmas Eve? Many custody agreements give the father (or parent without the bulk of custody time) the entire weekend. Also, WHY did the dad expect the mother to purchase gifts from him? Or, were these the joint gifts? Either way, the dad really crapped out of responsibility for his share of the work--he should know his own child well enough to purchase appropriate gifts. BUT AGAIN, we don't know what that agreement was either.



And, for all the moms who have berated this mom, how do you know that the agreement was as stated? How do you know that, perhaps she was denied Christmas Eve with her child and the dad changed the pick up time? How do you know that her phone's battery didn't die? (Mine does that all the time.)



And, as the other poster wrote, why did the dad not have at least something for the child to open? As another poster stated, WHO told the child she would not have anything to open on Christmas?





For the mom whose water broke but didn't go to the hospital for 12 or so hours later, as one who had 3 high risk pregnancies, do you realize the potential RISK you put your unborn child into to stay and have Christmas at home? I am not judging since I don't know if your doctor said that was okay, or if your history is that you don't deliver for many hours or days after your water breaks, but please please consider risks for all of your family. But you also noted that you learned, upon going to the hospital, that there were complications and the baby was breech.



Could the mother in the scenario above have been an irresponsible mother? Perhaps yes. However, since the story was clearly posted by someone who had ONLY the dad's side, please don't attack this woman without getting her side of the story. I have seen how viciously BOTH sides can behave to try to paint themselves as saints and the other as a demon. If all that was posted is exactly as it was, then try to not condemn, try to offer things that will help this mom understand why this is so tough on her child and how she can improve. If this is a case of trying to paint the dad as a saint and the mother as a demon THEN SHAME ON THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS!!!!!!!!!

Gwen - posted on 01/01/2012

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Okay! There is nothing right about that. Parents have to be available for their children at all times, but especially at Christmas.....and the present's??? That is just odd!!! VERY unfair to that child without doubt.

Lisa - posted on 01/01/2012

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That sucks! We split the kids year about - my husband and I both have children from our previous marriages and we do our own presents and christmases. the kids love it because they get multiple celebrations and it keeps things tidy for everyone. At the end of the day christmas is special for kids and it's the parents job to make that happen. I suggest the father does his own Christmas next year. the mother is WAY out of line on this

Trina - posted on 01/01/2012

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This was horrible! In the future the father does not need to provide the mother with funds to purchase gifts. He can purchase what he wants for his daughter and let her buy what she is going to buy for her.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/01/2012

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That is messed up. I've been divorced from my older daughter's father since 2005 and my family and I have always been the only ones buying gifts because he can't be bothered. He only started sending Christmas presents last year because I got married.

That is certainly not an acceptable situation

Patricia - posted on 01/01/2012

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Absolutely not Acceptable. Christmas is supposed to be a happy time. Those memories will stay with the child forever. I also agree that there seemed to miss communication on both sides. You would think that the parent would want to be there during this happy time. Unacceptable to me.

Kay - posted on 01/01/2012

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We just had our first family Christmas with my stepdaughters. We split the present buying so that they had some at home with Mom and some with us. (We also each contributed to Santa and all of those gifts came at our house.) it was really just a matter of communication and making sure each side had its own Christmas too...if that makes sense....

Best of luck,
Kay

Beth - posted on 01/01/2012

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Why didn't dad buy his own gifts for his daughter? This whole thing could have been avoided by the father having gifts at his house. My parents are divorced and dad always had gifts for me at his house

Fred - posted on 01/01/2012

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Did NO-ONE communicate here?..It's ALL too easy to put blame on either party and never to accept it ourselves. The child in question should NEVER have been used in this way, and a contingency plan should have been held as a reserve. Maybe, it's all to easy to pass the money over for one parent to purchase gifts, when the Father could quite easily have purchased his own?....Children are bound to get upset in a situation like this NO matter what happens, BUT it is up to the adults in us to ENSURE that doesn't happen!...

Fred - posted on 01/01/2012

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Did NO-ONE communicate here?..It's ALL too easy to put blame on either party and never to accept it ourselves. The child in question should NEVER have been used in this way, and a contingency plan should have been held as a reserve. Maybe, it's all to easy to pass the money over for one parent to purchase gifts, when the Father could quite easily have purchased his own?....Children are bound to get upset in a situation like this NO matter what happens, BUT it is up to the adults in us to ENSURE that doesn't happen!...

Wanda - posted on 12/31/2011

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@ Lorraine - after reading your second post I would suggest looking into the mother's activities as the behavior sounds too much like the behavior of someone who is doing/using things they shouldn't be. Especially if the child is/has mentioned/questioned the fact that Mommy is always leaving her someplace. I would also stop giving any money to the mother except for that which is court-ordered in the way of child-support. If she asks for money to buy something for the child, go purchase it for her so you know that the child will actually get what the mother claims she needs. I'm rather wondering if she actually spent all the money the father gave her for presents on actual presents for the child, or if she bought a few things and then spent the rest of the money on something else.
This is a very touchy subject and as one who's been caught in the middle of it, I just recognize the pattern of behavior you're mentioning.
I pray that it is nothing more than a mother who has no clue as to how her behavior is affecting her child.

Wanda - posted on 12/31/2011

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I think the part that most are missing is that the child was only supposed to be with her Dad for the DAY..not overnight!! The mother not being responsible enough to answer the phone when she was over due to pick up her child is very irresponsible!!
I do suggest that next time the father keep some of the money so that he may buy gifts as well for the child to open while visiting with him and his family as there is nothing a child enjoys more than having TWO Christmases!!
And no you are not wrong to feel that the mother wrong in her behavior!!
With all of this in mind, I hope next Christmas is much more pleasant for all involved, especially the child! :)

Sonya - posted on 12/30/2011

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So sad. perhaps the father will by gifts for his house next year for the child to open. A lot of times we put the burden on others when we can do them ourselves. Dad just buy the gifts you want her to have, ask for a list and YOU do you at Christmas time.... When the mom has to foot the entire bill herself maybe next time she wil be a little more considerate. Yall can work this out.

Denitta - posted on 12/30/2011

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Child should have been able to get in contact with mom by cell phone, that way the child would not have been u
Set thinking Snata would not be coming.

Jodi - posted on 12/30/2011

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I'm a little confused. The mother said there was a bag and was OBVIOUSLY expecting that the child was to stay overnight. However the CHILD says that her mummy was supposed to pick her up.

This sounds to me like a total FAIL in communication on the part of BOTH parents. Not JUST the mother.

Linda - posted on 12/30/2011

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@Lorraine, sounds like Dad needs full custody at this point. Mum seems like a very selfish person who wants nothing to do with her child...so sad.

Linda - posted on 12/30/2011

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Tiffany apparently you've probably never woke up excited Christmas morning and run to the tree with no gifts underneath it. I guess we are a spoiled society that puts too much commercialism in Christmas and what it's really all about...

Lorraine - posted on 12/30/2011

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I am the childs paterntal grandmother. I have supported my daughter in law through the good and bad times. She is always welcome in my home . She is invited to all our familiy celebrations despite the fact that my son and her are no longer together. On Christmas eve she was taking her daughter home, despite the fact that she said he had left a bag with a change of clothes and pjs. THERE was no bag and after taking with my grandchild during one of her tearful episode she said mummy said she was collecting me from daddies house but she did not come and i dont understand why. Since the split she has always come to my house with the rest of the family to celebrate Christmas Day. This leaving of the child for days without any contact happens often and no amount of planning can console a child when she asks to speak to her mum and mummy does not answer our call. sometimes the whole family cannot contact her. It is not just a matter of providing love hugs and cuddles clothes or presents its a matter of dealing with the childs emotions and questions. does my mummy love me, why does she leave me here there and every where.In our home it has always been a tradition for the children to open there presents on Christmas morning from their parents then the rest are opened when we are all together for Christmas dinner. Really this is not just about Christmas but this was just the icing on the cake !!

Lorraine - posted on 12/30/2011

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I have not disappeared I have been looking after my grandchildren I have 5 of them and going online was not a priority

Amie - posted on 12/30/2011

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It is wrong what happened. I am no longer with my boys father and what we do is he buys our boys presents for him to give to them whether or not im there he had them christmas eve and dropped them off christmas day fo r them to have presents with myself and family. She should never had done that. I hope next christmas will be a better one for you all. Just remember what has happened and plan for it, buy your own presents and give it to the child yourselfs. If the mother isn't reponsible enough to understand the meanings of these sort of days to all children she is well (would like to really swear here :) ). I think maybe some sort of mediation may be in order to work out where it all lies. That is up to you of course.

Misty - posted on 12/29/2011

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I think both parents are in the wetting on this one. First, there was obviously not a good line of communication here and a lot of assumptions. If the mom is that bad, why didn't that dad buy his own daughters presents? Something seems odd about that, too. The mom should have picked up the phone, but to give her the benefit of a doubt, cell phones can be unreliable. Maybe there was a legitimate reason. Anyway, the mom arrived by 9:00 am, which sounds reasonable unless it was clearly articulated that she was supposed to get back sooner. Anyway, both parents need to try to make sure arrangements are clear, and do what is in the childs best interest.

Linda - posted on 12/29/2011

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Apparently, the mother had plans and knew she wouldn't be around for her daughter till Christmas morning, but probably didn't want to get in a fight with her father over it. So, she selfishly ignored the calls and thought well she'll just have Christmas once I pick her up in the morning and she'll be fine. She is a bitch because she should of brought at least some of the gifts to the fathers home for her daughter to open that morning. Just keep it real...poor kid :(

Patricia - posted on 12/29/2011

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Not right at all. Christmas and santa is for the children. But dad should have bought the presents if he wanted them at his house. The child should not have been made aware of the situation by the dad. the child did not need that worry and could have been told that santa had gone to mums this year.....better organisation and comms on both sides for next year i think rather than blaming what cannot be changed.

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