Is it right to let my sons father stay the night at my house

Alena - posted on 12/02/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I dated my son's father (Joe) for six years. We were meant to be but he had a drug problem that didn't budge until I finally left for good (about a year and a half ago). He is a beautiful father and my son loves him to the end of the earth. He is living with a friend since he was evicted two weeks ago. I live with my mother since our separation. My son will be three Dec 14th. My family is having a party....he isn't welcome. If I just stop by so Joe can see him then leave my son will fliippp out. Btw we both agreed that until Joe has his own apartment that we don't want him over there... Too many reasons to name just a bad spot to put it lightly. So Joe asked me if he could spend the night of his birthday here. Is this a good thing or confusing. I mean when he gets his stuff together I would like to see how we work out. I still love him. He still loves me. And I have a boyfriend.... Who doesn't live with us...don't know how that fits in just throwing it out there.

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[momoftwo] - posted on 12/02/2013

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It sounds to me that he still has a drug problem. Can't keep an apartment and is now living in a bad spot. Also it's not fair to your new boyfriend that you have feelings for your ex so it shows you and him aren't meant to be.
Personally I would have visitation but monitored by someone but no sleep overs because we all know what happens then.
He's a drug addict or "ex user", they can't really be trusted. They only tell you what you want to hear.

Peg - posted on 12/03/2013

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Well I am of the opinion that he should not stay over. Besides hell of a thing to do the the boyfriend. Is the boyfriend the guy on reserve if Joe doesn't work out I wonder. I am one of those frankly honest people. First do you have to have a guy at all? Joe is out and you should just work on being with yourself. That give you time to watch Joes progress and give him an honest chance without messing with other guys. If Joe is out perminently then move on and stop messing with him all together. Kinda a "Jerking around" kinda thing going on here.

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[momoftwo] - posted on 12/06/2013

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Thank goodness you see it now lol I'm so used to girls just trying to make up an excuse for everything pointed out and doing the opposite anyway to the advice that was given LOL.
We're glad you are thinking about being alone you need time for your heart to heal. That's the funny thing about how we are, we may feel like we still love them but really it's just when people break up they remember the good times but when people are together they think of the bad.
You need to find a good man but again you'll need time to heal, the only man you need in your life is your little boy :)

Peg - posted on 12/06/2013

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Wow. I am so glad it appears you have had an enlightening moment. I know it won't be easy. You might be or feel yourself getting wishy washy when dealing with all this. STRENGTH! You can do it. You can be the most perfect on your own. I found once I gave up looking are trying to go after what wasn't necessarily good for me that I settled in nicely and after a few years the absolutely right man just fell on my door step....litterally.....God Bless you and Good Luck.

Alena - posted on 12/05/2013

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You guys said what I think with perfect reasoning. It's my heart that hurts from the truth. Maybe I needed the outside snap back to reality. ....I don't even worry about anything sexual happening just because he has my heart I don't mess around with his head or body to lead him on. He knows about my boyfriend. I have some feelings and care about my boyfriend... It might be that I'm used to being with Joe.. Even though he was a jack off at times I always knew I what we both wanted ..each others Heart. It kills me to be with someone else my family is very traditional. Maybe I should be alone for a little...or a while . Thank you for honesty . I should be thinking more of my son.. He's happy with Momma so I should look at the bigger picture. I don't need a man. I already have one and he's 3feet tall :)

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