Is it time to walk away when you BF calls you a C**T?

Amy - posted on 08/14/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )




Today my BF/daughters father started calling me all kinds of names today when we got into an argument. We haven't been getting along lately so I have been ignoring him and not speaking to him. So today he just went of the handle & cursed me out when I said something to him, and I hadn't yelled or begun to argue yet. That came after being called a B***H, C**T, STUPID, SHUT THE F UP. All kinds of verbal abuse, not to mention throwing things at me and getting all in my face while I was holding our daughter. This isn't the 1st time he's gotten like this, he punches holes in doors, walls, big décor pictures. Of course everything he breaks is mine because everything in our house I own. He's gotten worse over the last year & I keep it from both our families and friends. Every time this happends he regrets what he says & does and tries to apologize & talk.. Ive always made empty threats hoping he'll straighten up, but it'll last for a week then he'll go right back to being an asshole. Iv'e tried talking normally to him about our issues so he wont snap out, but it never works. I'm not one to put myself through hell, misery, and unhappiness all for the sake of our daughter and stay because of her. She will eventually be old enough to realize "mommy & daddy"fight all the time and I don't want her to even experience that or be around it. She's my only child so ive never had to go thru this before.. I've had enough, but idk WHAT TO DO OR WHERE TO START? ANY ADVICE?


~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/15/2016




This is classic emotional abuse, and it sounds like it will eventually lead to physical abuse. I would do the same thing Michelle is suggesting, but first kick him out. I would not want that in my home with or without counseling. If he goes to counseling and actually changes his behavior, you can revisit the idea of having him move in.


View replies by

Jolene - posted on 08/15/2016




That is abusive behavior. Everyone argues and fights- but that is not only non-productive but abusive. Get out before it escalates, and he can get counseling in the interim,

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/15/2016




DEFINITELY tell your family what has been going on. They can help, and be a huge support to you. Especially if you need a place to stay.

[deleted account]

She is already old enough to realize mommy and daddy fight. He is throwing things at you while you are holding her! You don't think she is taking that in mentally or emotionally? She is already being taught how women should be treated.

I don't care if he has apologized. Past behavior is a clear indication of future behavior. Get out while you can. Call the police and have him removed from the home. Get a restraining order if you need to and take him to court to get financial assistance. This will not be easy but one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your daughter.

Ev - posted on 08/15/2016




I agree with Michelle. By staying and just threatening to leave, you make it worse. He thinks you are just all talk and not much else. I would suggest you get into counseling at least on your own. This verbal abuse is also going to become emotional and the hitting things in the house and throwing things at you is physical abuse and could become worse as well. And holding your daughter during these verbal bashing moments and his throwing things places her in danger of being hurt. And why not tell at least your family? You need some sort of support right now and they may be able to help you move if need be. Also if no one is willing from his side or yours to help, find a local battered women's shelter and go there for help.

Michelle - posted on 08/15/2016




You need to let him know that he needs to go to couples counselling or it's over.
If he refuses to go to counselling then you find somewhere to go. Do you have any family that you can stay with for a while?
You need to carry through with those empty threats though. He needs to know that things have to change or you will leave.

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