Is it wrong to not want people to touch your stomach?

Elizabeth - posted on 04/17/2010 ( 34 moms have responded )

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I am having a terrible time with people wanting to touch my stomach. Some days I yell at them but i find myself hitting people more because telling them no seems to not work. So am I wrong?



Okay so i left a few details out. I was on my way out when i asked my question. Now that i have become pregnant people feel i have a sign on my stomach that read's "please touch here." I'm a private to myself person and value my personal space. Mostly strangers and neighbors feels it's their job to reach out and touch my belly. When no it's not an option i hit them. So am I wrong?

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Kristin - posted on 04/17/2010

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No you are not wrong to want people to keep their hands to themselves. Most will get the hint if you move back or turn away as they go to touch. Unfortunately, not all will get it. You are completely in the clear to ask that they not touch in the future. Some will be offended, but it is still your body and if they can't respect your boundaries then it may just be better if you don't spend much time with them for a while.



Some people are just blessed with a "touch me and lose a hand" kind of vibe, might be a good thing to work on. Coats, scarves, large bags or purses help to shield you too.



Also, this really is a violation of your personal space and as everyone knows



NO means NO.

Sara - posted on 04/17/2010

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No not at all.. I was the same way i just told them i need some space and put my hand on my belly.. don't be afraid its your personal space that they are getting in..

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Christine - posted on 10/29/2011

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For some reason when you become pregnant it seems to be the international greeting of pregnant women for strangers to rub their belly. If you weren't pregnant it wouldn't be okay so why would it when your belly ( womb ) is home to your unborn child..

I was serving up until 9 months pregnant and when people would rub my belly I would reach out and rub theirs.

Diane - posted on 06/01/2010

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I have a similar question...the exception is that it's not a stranger trying to touch me. It's someone I know, but despise. My husband has an ex from a long time ago. They only "dated" for a few months- nothing serious..but she's a psycho. She talks to my 14 yr old step son about her relationship issues, gave him 4, 800mg prescription Motrin after he refused it, and peppered him with many questions about "When's the baby due, did he marry her, how many siblings do you have now, and are they done yet?"...Of course, I'm INFURIATED by her nonsense, but I'm more angry that my husband prefer to avoid confrontation and allow her to behave this way. I feel like this woman is harassing me and my family and that to him she's just being "stupid" - I cant put anything past her at this point and I'm looking for the best way to handle her (in general) and when/if she tries the phony "nice" act and tries to touch my 8 month pregnant belly.

User - posted on 04/20/2010

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that is funny! hey it is your stomach and if they can't take no! i guess they are asking for it. but they mean no harm they are really touching your baby. that is what you need to decide what to do about. i had strangers put their fingers in my baby's mouth. they never suffered any ill effects(the baby), but it blew my mind someone would do that.
people like to touch baby's. so i would say that is the thing you should prepare for cuz if you don't like your stomach touched you may not like people to touch your little baby!

Laura - posted on 04/19/2010

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you are deffinately not wrong. They have no right to invade your personal space. They may be happy for you that you are pregnant and i know that the whole touching the belly somehow makes them feel conected in sum way. If these are paople that you see on a regular basis then you need to make it clear that it's a no go zone and that you really don't appreciate it. Hope this helps. Good luck

Becky - posted on 04/19/2010

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No, you're definitely not wrong! It's your body and if you are uncomfortable with it, then people need to respect that. I have had family members ask to touch my belly when I was pregnant, which I was okay with, but I would certainly not be okay with a stranger coming up and touching it! Ew! I don't know that I'd go so far as to hit them (get the wrong person and that could get you into trouble), but you need to get the message accross. I liked Krista's suggestion, lol! Or maybe mess up their hair and tell them since they invaded your personal space, you thought you'd return the favor!

Kellie - posted on 04/18/2010

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NO! that was the thing i hated most. i didn't get pregnant for other people, my husband and i wanted a family. i only felt comfortable with my family, but they at least asked and if i said no they understood. so speak up and say this is not your child, this is my body!

[deleted account]

I cannot stand people touching my belly, my mother in law got offended but hey its not her belly its mine the only one who is allowed to is my hubby, i have no choice about that LOL

Elizabeth - posted on 04/18/2010

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I like the re-rub method. They start rubbing you and you immediatly rub their belly back and ask them how they like it. :-) Hey...it was suggested in the "What to Expect" book so it has to be good advice.

Teresa - posted on 04/18/2010

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is this your first baby? you don't say. but to answer your question, NO it's not wrong for not wanting to be touched!!!!!!! people need to understand that it's your right and not their's. most people will respect your wishes. those that don't will get what they get. it's the same even if you weren't pregnant. keep the faith young lady and ask GOD to help you with stubborn/stupid people. GOD bless and peace be with you. teresa

Candace - posted on 04/18/2010

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i don't know about hitting them, but sternly telling them not to touch you is okay or something of that nature....i mean i know horomones drive up crazy...but hitting people....a lil too far out there.

Michelle - posted on 04/18/2010

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Hi Elizabeth

I am with you, i hated people touching my stomach. Just because i was prgnant everyone felt they could touch my stomach. Like what the hell. i had a T shiirt mad and it said
'DON'T TOUCH" precious goods inside. lol they got the picture.

Liezl - posted on 04/18/2010

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O I absolutely freaked out if people wanted to touch my stomach!! I am not talking about my mom or sister, that is fine, I don't mind sharing with them, but people that I would not even consider to be friends touching my stomach was just downright freaky and uncomfortable in my opinion. Hitting them might be a bit harsh though, ha ha!!

Martha - posted on 04/18/2010

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No it isn't wrong to expect people to give you some personal space, pregnant or not. People should ask permission and teach their children to do the same. My daughter's child care provider was pregnant for most of the year and when ever I was there and she tried to touch her teacher's belley I would remind her to ask first. People don't get it that sometimes you need space and sometimes you are uncomfortable that day.

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lol Roxanna.... I love the boob job analogy!
I was leaning in the doorway talking to my boss one day and a hand showed up from behind me coming at my belly. I elbowed her.. without looking. It turned out to have been a woman I work with... I left a bruise when I hit her. I apologized over and over again, and my only defense was that she startled me. I was NOT expecting someone to GRAB me from behind while I was talking. She pretty much got the message... Don't pet the pregnant chick.. she's not just pregnant.. she's also HORMONAL! Not to mention, we are all so defensive of our bellies when we are pregnant. I walked around MOST of the time with at least one hand petting and rubbing my belly. Anyone coming at me not paying attention to where they were walking were given a bit of distance... I guess it's just one of our first motherly actions.
So, my suggestion would be one well placed elbow.. and maybe the others around you will learn from that mistake? 'worked for me :)

Roxanna - posted on 04/18/2010

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You are NOT wrong! This is YOUR body! You need to be firm, if you had a boob job, would they be touching you to see how they feel? People are very inconsiderate, make a stink and they might just leave you alone!

Heidi - posted on 04/18/2010

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Hi Elizabeth I'm a mum of two little girls and I must say I found the whole tummy touching thing a little intrusive I hated random people from work coming up to me and touching my bump but I'd just grit my teeth and smile sweetly it's easy to tell family members when your getting peed off I don't think it wise to hit people just tell them straight or just wear a t-shirt with HANDS OFF MY BUMP! on good luck x

[deleted account]

It is not wrong to set boundaries with people. I would do it gently though. I doubt that the ones that are doing this realize it is off limits for you. There is a nice way to tell people. "I would appreciate it if you would not touch my stomach, it makes me uncomfortable". If they get mad, it is their problem then, not yours.

Amanda - posted on 04/17/2010

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If someone touches your belly without asking just touch their belly right away. Watch them jump back in surprise when you do this.

Iridescent - posted on 04/17/2010

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People are actually not backing off by a simple, "Please do not touch me"? Wow they are rude! I guess I'd do the same, and make a point to avoid them like the plague now and after the birth, as there is no way they'll keep their germy hands off your baby after the birth if they won't stop touching you now! I'm sorry. Your body, your space, your decision.

Krista - posted on 04/17/2010

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That's awful that they don't even respect you saying no. What the hell is wrong with people.

The next time someone touches your stomach, grab them in the crotch, and say "Oh, I thought where you didn't ask permission to touch my body, that it was okay for me to touch yours."

Or, in more polite settings, I would just recommend crossing your hands over your belly, backing up, or finding some other way to basically block access to the bump.

Tracy - posted on 04/17/2010

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Well this is a tough question, because you really have not articulated in what capacity these other people want to touch your stomach. Are you pregnant and is it your other kids or husband? Is it strangers? Family members? Without the whole story it is hard to give a quick answer. Of course it is your body, but if it is your husband who wants to touch your stomach, why would you want to deny him the joy and excitement of feeling life inside you? That is if you are pregnant of course. Also if your husband or partner wants to touch your stomach, what would be the reason? Intimate contact with you? Or just to be annoying? My suggestion would be to sit down and truly think logically about what it is that bothers you and then you might be able to be a little more tactful in your approach to others in this situation.

Good luck
Tracy McPherson

Mary - posted on 04/17/2010

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Not unless you were okay with them rubbing your belly when you weren't pregnant!



I have know idea why people think it is okay to do this...especially strangers! It's rude, invasive, and a bit on the odd side as well. I often pushed people's hands off my belly, and felt no guilt about it whatsoever....and neither should you.

Theresa - posted on 04/17/2010

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It's not wrong not ot want them to touch you. Unfortunatly they will do it anyway. For some reason people see a pregnant belly as public property.

Mindy - posted on 04/17/2010

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i wouldnt suggest hitting people but then again you are pregnant and can get away with alot atm lol but that was my biggest complaint while i was pregnant was everybody wanted to rub my belly like i was all the sudden budda.......Good Luck stopping it i didnt have much luck with it

Heather - posted on 04/17/2010

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When I told my mom that my co workers had asked to touch my stomach, she almost Hurled. Girl its your stomach, its still your personal space. If someone wants to touch your stomach, and they aren't showing you enough respect to ask first, then they deserve a good smack.

Cindy - posted on 04/17/2010

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NO, I always thought it was the worst thing that being pregnant seemed to make people think they had a free pass to touch your stomach. I mean it is MY BODY your touching intimately...GO AWAY!

Stevie - posted on 04/17/2010

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no your not extream about it or wrong for not wanting them to ive never experianced tha since ive never had anyone really do that to me when i was pregnant but if i had ppl who wouldnt listen i would probably push them off and yell stop good luck maybe get a white shirt you can decorate and say DO NOT TOUCH THE BELLY I WILL BITE some ppl might find it funny but hey maybe they would get the pic

Allison - posted on 04/17/2010

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Those people sound quite pushy - sorry you have to deal with that! It's your body (and your baby) so of course it is YOUR decision whether you want to be touched, and people really ought to respect that.

I liked people touching mine, and people really seem to enjoy it, so I feel it is OK (and kind of sweet) for people to ask, but it is also OK for you to say NO, of course! I would personally say it really nicely first, and only be blunt if they won't listen.

Shannon - posted on 04/17/2010

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Well hitting people may be a little extreme I would maybe try turning away from the person when they go to touch you. It is your body and you are entitled to your personal space. Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you are suddenly public property. Good luck stearing clear of belly touchers!

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