Is my baby half black????

Kaye-Loni - posted on 08/16/2015 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Ok please don't judge!
I am white. And I thought there was only 2 possible fathers to my 3 weeks old son. One guy is part Puerto Rican and white and has pretty fair skin. The other is white Mexican and native American. My son is kinda brown like a native or Hispanic baby. I slept with o e black guy but according to my Dr I was already pregnant when I had slept with him. So according to the calendar I wasn't ovulating when I slept with the black man. But could the Dr and calendar be wrong? What physical appearances can I look for to be able to tell. I never spoke with the black guy again so I dint even know how to contact him for a DNA test. Please help!

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Sarah - posted on 08/16/2015

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Thanks Dove- after reading the other thread I still don't see any disrespect, judgement or lack of compassion. I actually think everyone was pretty diplomatic.

Dove - posted on 08/16/2015

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Sarah... she posted the same thing twice... as lots of posters seem to do. I responded to the other one earlier today... though I didn't mention condoms. I 'wanted' to say a lot more than I did though.

OP... no one in any of their comments to you has violated THUMPS. There is nothing against THUMPS in telling someone to make smarter decisions. That's actually GOOD, respectful advice because then you can prevent this issue in the future... and a person that cares about you and your child would want you to be making safe decisions. There are many possible consequences to having multiple sex partners or sex w/out a condom and having a baby... is actually the only GOOD one of those potential consequences.

Jodi - posted on 08/16/2015

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Why not just get a DNA test done with the other 2? Then at least your baby will have some knowledge of who his father is. Which will also give your child the ability to find his medical history when and if needed.

MaryAnn - posted on 08/16/2015

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Yes, its possible. Doctors get the whole conception dating thing wrong, but usually only within days or even 2-3 weeks all the time. The only thing that works with any certainty is a DNA test. Please dont try to racially profile your baby.

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Nikki - posted on 08/19/2015

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I hope you dont take what I said as offensive, I certainly didn't mean for it to be my any means. Just coming from a home where my brothers and I all have different father's and none of us know who they are, it affects you for your entire life. Im sure you know that though, so I hope none of my post come off like "beating a dead horse" lol. I really hope you find out who it is with ease!

Lianne - posted on 08/19/2015

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It sounds stupid but maybe if you have pictures of the other 2 guys that you do have access to, ask someone (not you cause you will be biased in your opinion i think, I'm guessing there may be one of these guys you would rather be the dad than the rest, but i could be wrong about that) anyway, maybe have someone look at baby pictures of your baby against baby pictures of both guys. Usually and more often than not the baby will look very much like one of the parents at birth. meaning the baby pictures of the mom or dad compared to the baby pictures of the baby are very hard to tell apart aside from age of the picture. My little brother and dads baby pictures are literally IDENTICAL!! its crazy. anyway, just a suggestion that could maybe help you.. :) (btw, you know who you are and only you have to deal with the consequences of the decisions you make in your life. don't let what other people say to you get you down, if you are learning from you mistakes and making changes to be a responsible parent then you are human just like the rest of us!)

Nikki - posted on 08/19/2015

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It can be hard to tell. I Am African American and my daughter his half white. She looks full Caucasian, other than my nose. No matter what race your baby is, I hope you will find that it really doesnt matter. I cant think of a single issue that will arise because you arent sure of your child's full ethnic backround. I hope you are also a bit safer in your sexual conquests from here on out, for your sake, and for the sake of kids everywhere who don't know their father's.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/16/2015

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OP: Nowhere in this thread did anyone other than Sarah (and yourself) mention condoms.

However, your response was entirely out of line. You're on a PUBLIC forum, where anyone and everyone who is a member can read and respond to your posts. You're going to get some constructive criticism, no matter what.

Get at least the two guys you know tested. That way, if it was your one night stand, you'll at least narrow it down. How you'll FIND the man now, in order to allow him access to the child, is a whole other bucket of worms.

I certainly hope that you plan to cooperate with the father of this child, both in custody and support, as well as in raising the kid.

Oh, and my recommendation is that you either get an implant done, or take some time to remember to be safe. You're putting yourself in a HUGE risk area if you are doing anything other than protecting yourself.

Sarah - posted on 08/16/2015

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I was the first person in this thread to bring up condoms. Trust me I read the posts and I don't usually beat a dead horse. It takes more than your whining to get me angry, I have four kids.
I was advocating condoms to prevent STDs not pregnancy, don't want your little one exposed to syphilis. I am not sure where I gave my opinion on your life choices? I did respect you by encouraging you to identify the father for the sake of the child. What is more compassionate than telling every mother out there that their little one is unique and lovely?

Kaye-Loni - posted on 08/16/2015

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First of all your the second person who said to use condoms which I know I should have. I'm kinda past the part of using condoms to prevent my pregnancy because I already had my baby. I thought this site was for RESPECT NOT THUMPS. And I know I'm not the only person on here that's had questions about the race of their baby and I know I'm not the only person who's been faced with this problem before... So yea u are being judgemental and with u being an L&D nurse u should be a little more compassionate and not think everyone wants your opinion on their life choices. Everyone makes mistakes. You don't know my story. Nice job getting angry though. And thanks for finally answering my question

Sarah - posted on 08/16/2015

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For crying out loud, if you can't take one gentle suggestion then grow up. Like telling you to use condoms is judgmental? You are the one who is wondering who of three different partners is the father! That demonstrates lack of judgement and knowledge of safety to me. Geez, your post was flat out racially biased.
From my personal experience as a L&D nurse:
Black babies are often born white, yes white like Caucasian and they can have blue eyes too. Most have some curly fuzz for hair. Mexicans tend to have lots of hair, straight hair and be darker at birth.

My sincere apologies to any mother of ethnic origin, I do not want to group your babies into a category or make it sound like they all look a like rather than be born with unique and special qualities that they've inherited from both families.

Kaye-Loni - posted on 08/16/2015

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Ok so I asked if anyone knew of any physical signs that I could maybe tell if my son is biracial, not how to have sex or anyone to pass judgment.I know I made some mistakes. And I've definitely learned from them. Thanks

Sarah - posted on 08/16/2015

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I agree. Start with ruling the other two guys out as the father and then worry about tracking down the other guy. Maybe consider using condoms to protect your health and the health of the baby.

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