Is my child's father scared of commitment?

Bella - posted on 09/13/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My ex and I have a 1yr old. He wants me and my daughter to go on vacation to the Bahamas with him and his family for his bday. Does he want to be with me?


We broke up before the baby was born but he flies me to his house for weekend visits and quality time. We do not have sex and he claims he can't wait to see us whenever we are going to fly out. He brings me around his family all the time. Whenever I make jokes about us being together he never responds. But he has asked me to move to his city several times. I have even made the joke with him by asking, "What if we just showed up on your door step with our bags one day. What would you do?" His answer was he would let us in. He is sending me so many mixed signals. What should I do?

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Alyssa - posted on 09/15/2016

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If I was in your position, I would ask for clarification and express your confusion. This is not just for your own sake but also for your daughter. As she gets older, she will also be trying to understand your relationship with him and she needs to have clear answers. You might want to approach from that angle and ask him how he would explain things to her when she gets a bit older. What are your feelings for him? Was there a point where you two broke up?

Sarah - posted on 09/13/2016

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I agree, lay your card out on the table and don't dance around the subject. If you are interested in a relationship with him then tell him so. If not, then don't tease him with hints and passive suggestions.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/13/2016

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How about having an adult conversation with him instead of trying to interpret his actions? It would be more productive...

Jodi - posted on 09/13/2016

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If he lives elsewhere, she can't travel on her own, so maybe this is his solution. Or maybe he doesn't feel comfortable having her on his own yet? How about a grown up conversation with him? We can't tell you what he is thinking.

Michelle - posted on 09/13/2016

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We have no idea what he is thinking.
Maybe instead of joking about it you need to actually ask him.
I agree with Jodi, it may be because he wants to be in his child's life.

Bella - posted on 09/13/2016

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No I haven't. He hasn't asked but I told him to let me know when he is comfortable with taking her on his own.

Jodi - posted on 09/13/2016

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Maybe it isn't about you. Maybe he wants a relationship with his child. Have you ever told him that you won't let your daughter go on her own with him?

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