Lauren - posted on 05/03/2014 ( 16 moms have responded )
He is not my children's biological father and he says that they need discipline but I feel that my children are only getting hurt. We have been married for 4 years now and I have 3 kids, two boys and 1 girl ages 10, 5, and 3. Here are some things that he does that I am just confused about and need some opinions. He tells the kids that he will take them to the park or to the mall and he gives them sometime to get ready, they are kids and they tend to play and take longer to get ready so he gets FURIOUS and begins to yell at them "I have been waiting 25 min and you are still not ready!! You stupid idiots don't deserve to go outside, you pigs don't deserve anyone to take some time out for you!, STAY home you bunch of morons!" And then he would punish them by not taking them out. I don't understand whether to be mad at him or not, I mean, he did put an effort to take the kids out but he always hurts them when trying to do something good. My 10 yr old son comes to me crying saying "I was so happy I was going out and now we're not. I feel that the way he "disciplines" the kids just causes them pain, hurt and anger. I have noticed their attitudes changing from this treatment. They have become more angry towards everyone and they lash out more often. He comes home with candy and junk food at times and then goes to check their rooms, he finds them messy and begins to yell "You idiots! I told you to clean your room, bunch of ungrateful pigs! I bought you some goodies but you don't deserve them, so I will just throw them in the garbage" and that is what he does. In his mind, this is discipline but to the kids, its boils their blood. They see what they could have had and then it goes to waste. I know many people think this will teach them but my kids aren't learning from this, they are changing drastically and for the worse.
He takes them to toy stores and if they jump around or get too excited, he takes them out and drives back home berating them the entire time on how they could have been playing with a good toy but because they got too excited and made a little but of noise, they can't have anything. They are children for god's sake, they are meant to make some noise. My children aren't animals running around, they simply skip around us or hop a bit, but that is what children do!