Is my mom being unfair for not letting me go over my boyfriends house?

Carobs1997 - posted on 08/02/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )




I am 19 years old and and my boyfriend is 22. I want to go over my boyfriends house but my mom doesnt let me. She loves my boyfriend and we have a serious relationship. She doesnt let me because she thinks we are going to have sex. she used to let me go over my ex boyfriends house when i was 15 until she found out i had lost my virginity, after that she never let me go over a guys house.she is very open when it comes to sex so i dont get what the problem is, she is always telling me to take care of myself but for some reason every time she feels im going somewhere where i might have sex she low key freaks out. Is she being unfair for not letting me go over his house? I know if i ask her she is going to say no and if i ask her why shes gonna say " because i say so " we always argue when she does that because she doesnt give me a reason why but i know thats the reason why. me and my mom have a good relationship but when we dont agree in something it turns into world war. I am a good college student and i do the chores around the house , is she being unfair?


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Dove - posted on 08/06/2016




You are an adult. You have a few options.... abide by your mother's wishes, try to have a rational adult discussion w/ her, go against her wishes and deal w/ the fall out, or move out and live your own life.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/06/2016




Are you paying room and board? Do you have any sort of formal agreement for living in her home as an adult?

While it seems a bit controlling to me ( my son is living in my home, but paying room and board, and there are reasonable expectations outlined in our contract as to his coming and going), you ARE living in her home, with her rules.

If you don't like them, you have the option to move out and support yourself. You are a mature adult, and you do have that option now. You can also do as yakitta has suggested, and have a discussion regarding reasonable expectations and limits for you while you reside in her home.

Whichever you decide, I wish you the best!

Yakitta - posted on 08/06/2016




Caroline- This can be a bit of a struggle; I understand your concern as well as your mothers. I’m wondering if maybe you and your mother could sit down and discussed your mom’s rationale now with this boyfriend and what changed with the ex. Are there trust issues, is your mom being the good parent she appears to be and is trying to deter anything unnecessary. At the same time, I understand your thought processes of being able to visit your ex at a younger age and now being restricted. Communication is ALWAYS key not arguing, but listening, respecting one another, and possibly coming to a happy medium. Hopefully, you two can work this out to maintain the good relationship.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/03/2016




You are 19. I hate to say it, but if you don't like your moms rules, move out. Or you will need to try to sit and have an adult conversation with her to figure out how to live together. She is going to have her rules, and that is only fair since you are living in her house, but you are legally an adult. Try to sit down, and talk. Best thing to do. Sounds like your mom doesn't want you getting pregnant young, or being risky. Any parent wants to protect their children, but you two need to talk this out.

Jodi - posted on 08/03/2016




"I know if i ask her she is going to say no"
So you've never actually asked? How do you know this then?

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