Is my son's anger related to the loss of his father?

Vanessa - posted on 09/15/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My 6 year old seems very angry, especially when he is punished or told off. He lost his father over a year ago and just wondered if this is just normal or related to his loss. Has anybody else had this issue? He always shouts and screams at me that I don't love him when he gets told off. Sometimes I'm asking nicely and still get a hurl of abuse.

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Gardensparrow - posted on 09/16/2015

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Hmm...that's hard to say, but it could certainly be a possibility. Like the others share, have you thought of trying any therapy with him? Or is there a school counselor who might have some thoughts on his behavior? I know that losing a parent can definitely take a toll on a child, and even with your best efforts, you can see some issues result.

Another thought would be, if you're a reader, picking up some books on children and grief or anger issues. I've heard good things about The Angry Child by Timothy Murphy and Loriann Hoff Oberlin and It's Okay to Cry: A Parent's Guide to Helping Children Through the Losses of Life by H. Norman Wright. And I'm sure you could find them online or at the library. Also, if you see a counselor, I'm sure they could recommend something.

So, just a couple things to think about. In the meantime, I'll definitely be praying for you and your little boy. Hang in there!

Tim - posted on 09/15/2015

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He should be in grief consoling, 6 year old's have not had the life experiences necessary to navigate the greiving process let alown understand it

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Sarah - posted on 09/25/2015

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He may have some unanswered questions about his father's death and doesn't want to ask you. There are some groups; Rainbows for Children, is one of them. I think you have probably search things out in your area. It would help a lot if he could find even a small peer group for him to share his feelings. Try contacting your regional organ donation bank, they deal with this every single day and may have a referral for you. Let him know at a time of calmness that he can tell you anything or ask you anything and you will do your very best to answer him honestly. He may be afraid to ask you because it will make you sad.

Vanessa - posted on 09/25/2015

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Thank you all for the good advice. He is seeing somebody for grief counselling every two weeks. But that was a struggle to get anybody, lots of adult groups but only one for children. It took a year to get that one sorted after many phone calls and even a visit to the doctor. We were passed around like a hot potato. My husband died through suicide, just to make matters a little bit more complicated. Funny enough I took your advice about the anger books and they do seem to have helped him. Thanks for your prays too, much appreciated.

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