Is our generation of parents being too soft?

Maggie - posted on 06/21/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

174

25

8

I am a 25 year old mom who grew up with spankings, time outs in the corner, groundings, etc. Most of my friends or people I grew up with delt with the same. I find now a days parents are too "soft" on their children. Trying to be their friends, and hovering over their every move. Is it just me or has our generation of parents become too soft? Are we trying too hard to be their friend and not hard enough as their parent? I am all for trying to explain things to our children but sometimes a good old fashion spanking or time out is just what the doctor ordered (depending on the situation of course). Don't let what I am saying be confused with wildly hitting children, or abusing them, that is not what I am saying at all. What I am saying is, why have we been made to think that it is wrong? If it worked for our parents and we turned out ok, why is it "wrong" for us to do the same? I hate getting looks in the mall for smacking my childs fingers if she has done something wrong, when she had been worned three times,. It seems like we aren't allowed to hurt their feelings or make them realize they have done something wrong. Am I completely out of touch or just over thinking this?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Emma - posted on 05/18/2014

1

0

0

The truth is if you love your kids and take the time to understand and teach them to help and take time out for you cos your special and deserve to be pampered sometimes, you dont need to smack, hit, just relax explain right from wrong and understand noone has a crystal ball when your young you do forget cos your brain takes in a massive amount of information and children live from one day to the next
or one hour to the next you sound like a great mom but like every parent you worry and then you get to my age and wish you could do it all over again and enjoy every moment you have good or bad I never hit my kids however there were times that people said I should cos they hit punished whatever, my kids dont drink smoke and all go to university they are not perfect but I love them all and so after alll my blah blah how did you feel as a child when your parents hit you because I dont know about you I just remember the pain.

7 Comments

View replies by

Samantha - posted on 06/21/2009

81

2

8

i guess spanking can be ok if done for the sole purpose of discipline, and not out of your frustration and inability to control a situation. also, i think it should be reserved as a last resort, not used for every time a child does something wrong. i also think you should only use your hand and not any objects. my 3 brothers and i were spanked as children, but not for the sake of discipline, it was because my parents worked too much and when they came home they were too tired or frustrated to deal with us kids in a calm way. we were spanked for every little thing we did. i remember my mom handing me a wet bowl she had just washed (i was 4) and she asked me to set it on the table. of course, because it was slippery, i dropped it and it broke. my dad took off his belt and spanked me multiple times. my whole childhood was like this. and think about this, if you were to hit anyone else, other than your child, even your dog, with a belt, wooden spoon, paddle, etc, you would be in serious trouble. so why do we reserve hitting for only our children? i believe children can be disciplined without means of hitting. it really confuses me when a child is spanked for hitting someone else. thats not sending a clear message to the child "you cant hit, but i can"? oh, and lastly, neither myself or any of my brothers have a good relationship with either of our parents. i dont want that for my daughter.

Sheree - posted on 06/21/2009

4

11

0

i agree.... i try and use timeouts and loosing privlages but sometimes i do "spank" my son.. if he is reaching for something dangerous ie: hot pan that has just come out of oven i dont hesitate to give his hands a whack out of the way.... i'd rather have him have a sore hand for a min than a burn

Jackie - posted on 06/21/2009

162

22

28

I have 3 kids all under 3. they get spanked when they need it, they get time outs, toys taken away and other stuff. They are extremely well behaved, happy children for the most part. they do have bad days, but I don't believe kids should rule the home or be overly spoiled. My kids are spoiled to an extent but it's not overly ridiculous and amaziingly they are still happy kids.
I think nowadays people are too scared to discipline their children because of how quickly child services gets called and kids nowadays are quick to call 911. I think there's a difference between spankings and child abuse.
I especially think it's horrible the way other people judge you if you spank your child. I never hit them hard enough to hurt them, just enough to get their attention and let them know they are really pushing it when I've told them the same thing 4 or 5 times.

Jeanne - posted on 06/21/2009

571

14

45

Hi Maggie,



Me and my husband are older parents (I'm 40 and he's 50) and we do use time outs and punishments - such as taking away privileges or toys and yes I must admit I have swatted my daughters bottom (she is 4) and put my son in his crib when he just doesn't listen to the word no (he's 19 months). We believe in being strict but loving parents. Both of my children are very strong willed and if we are soft with them they will just take over (my daughter is already trying....trust me). I don't believe in beating children but I do believe in sending them to their room, standing them in the corner, taking away privileges or favorite toys and when all else fails ONE swat on the bum.....and please read that everyone I said ONE.....and guess what??? Whenever we go out people commend us for having well behaved children. Don't get me wrong, they do act up, kids have good and bad days just like adults, but you also have to know your child and if it's just plain stubborness or if it's that they are out of sorts that day. I am my children's parent....provider....nurturer and all around protector. Once they are adults then it will be time for me to be their friend.

Vanaye - posted on 06/21/2009

14

1

2

Well, the Bible says that if we spare the rod we spoil the child. I will tell you that I "spank" my children and hate it. I mean I don't like to see them cry, but how selfish of me to have children and not raise them in the fear and admiration of God. In my eyes it is far wrong for a parent to leave a child's self will in tact for God to have to break it later. We have chosen to discipline with love and as a result my children are balanced and to me that's the most important.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms