Corinne - posted on 05/20/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )
With these attachment parenting articles, new finds from research and hype about changing the way we parent I feel like sticking to the way I was raised is just not good enough anymore. Mind you I was born in 1991 so I don't know what it was like growing up in the 70's or 80's most people think of as back in the day but my mom did a pretty good job with sticking to the way she was raised. Combined with the small town we lived in I was never watch 24/7, I never had a playdate, hand sanitizers were for hospital staff and I respected my parents as my parents, not my friend. I was spanked when I deserved it, I got soap in my mouth when I swore and I was expected to be independant and a watchful older sibling.
Seeing parents "wear" their baby until they can't carry them comfortably anymore, breatfeeding until they're going to preschool and having such flexible disipline skills is confusing for me. This doesn't seem to do anything but satisfy the parent's wants and needs to be a caretaker. The children I've come in contact with that were raised this way are spoiled, self centered and very dependant. With our world becoming such a mean place how is this helpful to the kids?
I have a 20 month old and am 7 months pregnant. I am raising them the way I was; my daughter knows I am in charge, knows that if she acts out on purpose she will have consequences BUT that I love her unconditionally and will always be there for her. I have friends that say I'm too hard on her and that I remind them of how their parent's raised them and they never liked it. Isn't that the point though? I don't want my daughters to think that they can act out and get away with it or that being disrepectful to ANYONE was ever ok. My job as their mother is to prepare them for the world and to do the best I can to make them productive women. When adults aren't used to the sometimes heavy consequences life can deal them it's a huge slap in the face and they have to learn what they should've grown to know.
Becoming a parent has opened my eyes to a lot of things. It's hard to keep a straight face and not cave in when my baby is crying when she gets in trouble. It's so much easier sometimes to let things slip more often than I should. But it's easier for me. Not for her.
Maybe I'm just too stubborn to conform or have seen bad examples of attachment parented kids but it doesn't feel right to me to be more of a friend and comfort object than an actual parent. All I can do is what I feel is the best for my kids and pray to God it was the right way to go. I don't think I turned out too bad... hopefully I can get the same results my parents got with me with my own children.