is spanking a suitable punishment for teenages, and who would benefit most male or female

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Michelle - posted on 04/01/2015

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What you are saying is the opposite of what you were posting earlier.
She beat you, that is abuse. That's what we were all saying.
Sorry you had such a horrible person raising you but that's not what most Mothers are like.
Taking away things isn't mental abuse. We allow our children to earn them back. What you have experienced is extreme and abusive though.
I hope you are getting some good help.

Dove - posted on 04/01/2015

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Spanking isn't discipline... it is punishment. Big difference.... and if you have to spank a TEENAGER... you might as well admit parenting defeat. I'm not anti-spanking, but when you have a child old enough to speak to and explain things to who can comprehend and participate in the discussion... Spanking is stupid and just makes you look like a pathetic bully who doesn't know any better.

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Natasha - posted on 04/03/2015

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Well its been going on since the beginning of timE. Spare the rod spoil thechild. The government and essential and psychologist are all up in our business. NO I DON'T spank my kids very often but it works. When parents could really spank kids and not just "spank " them kids were respectful, didn't be rebellious, and helped around the house and work and do what they are asked .

Lester - posted on 04/01/2015

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my intention was not to deceive no I am not upset just confused I thank you all and hope I can stay in touch I wish my mother and I use that word unwillingly wish she was like you guys I hope you kids appreciate what good mothers they have.

Lucitta - posted on 04/01/2015

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Lester.
I apologize for my harsh tone. The circumstances are far more exotic then I could have imagined.
I can not begin to understand what you went through, I can wish you all the best.
Again, I am sorry for my harsh tone. I hope I did not upset you.

Lester - posted on 04/01/2015

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thank you for your reply the research I am doing is for me only, I am an abused child and at the age of 65 I still have nightmares my abuse was at the hands of an adopted mother I was adopted through the social welfare at the age of 4.
the first thing she told me was when I got older the police would hand cuff me and put me in prison, and the only way she could stop that was to continually thrash me, and that was twice a week every week for 12 years me 40 years it took me 40 years to find out who I was.
all my life I have had mental health issues all my life and I am trying to answer myself a question is my mental due to me being adopted or the hidings I received

Lucitta - posted on 04/01/2015

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I do believe it is incredibly unethical to perform an experiment on a group of people, I.E. use them as samples for a survey, I.E. use them for research, without first telling them what you are using their answers for, and explaining the purpose of your question. This is because you could have easily caused undue stress to people that read this threat, and did not know it was a research question. I think this is absolutely deplorable behavior for an academic. If you're not doing this for an academic or scientific purpose, as I highly suspect due to your lack of ethics, then there is still no excuse for not disclosing your intention.
That being said, my answers to new question below.
Yes, I would love to see corporal punishment brought back for violent crimes against a vulnerable victim. I say vulnerable, because if 2 gang members get in a street fight, or if a known violent criminal gets attacked, the current criminal likely wouldn't fear physical or social suffering, and it would just be a way for them to be released quicker. For someone that attacks someone incapable of defense, such as someone with a physical handicap, a child, the elderly or just someone much weaker then them and unarmed, they yes, corporal punishment should come back. These criminals are cowards, and would fear the threat of physical or social suffering, as much as they would fear a combative situation with someone able to defend themselves.
As for the saved money going towards their victims, I think not. There are much better uses for government money then going to the victim of a 5 on 1 mugging.

Lester - posted on 04/01/2015

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I would like to thank you all for your honest reply's, it will help immensely with my on going research any further comments welcome.
however there another question.
could the re introduction of corporal punishment for crims of violence against people reduce the number of people in prison, and the costs associated with there incarceration be given to the victims

Lucitta - posted on 04/01/2015

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I believe spanking should only be used in the most drastic cases, and then only when calm. I define a drastic case as one where the child has put himself or herself, or someone else, in immediate risk of severe bodily damage or death, on purpose. I feel as if the spank should be used to associate that action with something negative, as to prevent the action from happening again. If it was a mistake, then no spanking is needed.
I think that under virtually no circumstance should a teenager be spanked, as they are old enough at that point to understand the logic behind their actions, and the actions put upon them in response.
I believe spanking is no longer a valid punishment when a child is able to convey the reasoning behind their actions, as well as their desired effect.

Michelle - posted on 04/01/2015

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It may have been the main form of discipline in the 50's but there are better ways of discipline.
Laws have changed and it is abuse.
Here's a scenario for you: Your teen has been fighting at school and suspended, you then spank them at home. What is that teaching them? You are telling them they shouldn't hit people but that's exactly what you are doing to them. 2 wrong don't make a right so why would you encourage violence?
Grounding and taking away technology isn't psychological abuse, it makes them think about their actions and correct them if they want to keep their things. Spanking is more abusive and confusing.

Lester - posted on 04/01/2015

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well said, my argument is neither pro or anti spanking I come from a position that for any discipline to work it should be effective however which is more harmful to the child psychological abuse, like shouting depriving them of there ability to socialize, communicate.
or spank them and get the problem out of the way why is it people are afraid of spankings is not abuse it is a form discipline and should be kept in the bag of tricks for all parents.
I like everyone else deplore any act of child abuse, and it should never be tolerated however I say again spanking is not abuse it is a tool of discipline just like any other

Chana - posted on 04/01/2015

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I was taught from a young age that every action good or bad has a consequence. If you begin teaching children that when they are old enough to understand it, which surprisingly is very young, it works. My girls are 4 and 2 1/2 and they both understand it to some extent. Yes I have tapped their bottoms and their fingers and I don't deny that or regret it. The oldest is getting to the point that she knows the consequences before she even does the action. If you are consistent in with your consequences they know what is going to happen before they do the action.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/01/2015

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Seriously? This is still a question? Can you not COMMUNICATE with your teens? You know...Speaking with them in your native language, whatever that may be? You'd prefer to assault them instead?

What is your kid doing that is so bloody horrible that you think assaulting them will get your point across? Directly from your responses, it seems that you feel that assault is the answer: "it you ground kids does that not create resentment"~~Well, yes, probably so. However, it is a CONSEQUENCE for behaviour that is not allowed.
"if you stop them going out is that not unlawful detention"~~Not if they're under the legal age of majority, and you are using restriction as a CONSEQUENCE
"if you confiscate there phones ,computers is this not preventing them from talking to there mates."~~Actually, it DOES prevent them contacting their mates, because they are living with a CONSEQUENCE for poor behaviour. What are they going to do...yell out the window? Doubtful...been done, but doubtful...
"if you gave your teenagers a choice of discipline of any of the above, or a spanking what do you think they would choose"~~Personal experience tells me that teens would and do choose APPROPRIATE CONSEQUENCES over assault any day
"would you feel if they chose the latter is it you or your children who oppose corporal punishment"~~They wouldn't choose the latter. I've not laid a disciplinary hand on my children since they were old enough to understand our native language, and understand what consequences for poor behaviour were.

So, you have a choice: Intelligently parent your kids, or assault them, and risk being prosecuted for child abuse

Michelle - posted on 03/31/2015

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"if you confiscate there phones ,computers is this not preventing them from talking to there mates."

That is called a consequence to breaking the rules. Access to phones and computers aren't "rights" they are privileges and use should be earned. They see their "mates" at school so don't need to be in contact after school.
As for the rest of your points, it's called parenting and setting boundaries. All children respond well to set boundaries with consequences. As long as you follow through with the consequences they work.
However you should have been doing this from when they were toddlers and not just implementing it as teens.

Jodi - posted on 03/31/2015

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Besides the fact that spanking is not effective at that age. After all, if the teenager chooses it over everything else, then it is clearly not having the effect intended anyway.

Dove - posted on 03/31/2015

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No, of course spanking isn't appropriate for a teenager. If you can't parent a teenager w/out resorting to spanking... you have no business being a parent.

Lester - posted on 03/31/2015

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would it not be reasonable to suggest that any other form of punishment is just as harmful.
it you ground kids does that not create resentment
if you stop them going out is that not unlawful detention
if you confiscate there phones ,computers is this not preventing them from talking to there mates.
if you gave your teenagers a choice of discipline of any of the above, or a spanking what do you think they would choose and would you feel if they chose the latter is it you or
your children who oppose corporal punishment

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