Is there a right time to try for another baby?

Kristy - posted on 06/26/2011 ( 39 moms have responded )

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Is there a right time to try for another baby? Our kid is now 18 months.

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[deleted account]

This is a decision that only you & your partner can make. So many factors to consider:
How are your finances?
How are your patience now?
Are you a SAHM or a working mom? Both have pros & cons when deciding on more children.
Do you enjoy pregnancy? Any complications?
Do you enjoy that newborn stage?
Would you need to upgrade your vehicle if you have a second? You'll most certainly need new car seats.
Do you have a yearning, craving, heart-wrenching desire for another child?
Are you wanting the opposite gender, or will you be satisfied with whatever you get?
Are you worried that kid #1 will be an only child if there happens to be an issue with conceiving/fertility?
Would you be accepting of raising an only child if it is simply not in the cards for you?
Did your partner express interest in more kids?



Just throwing these questions out there. Welcome to CoM. Over the past few years, this is a common question here "Should I have more kids?" Honestly, a bunch of internet "strangers" will have 101 different opinions. Take the questioned I posed and discuss this with your partner. Best of luck to you!

Jodie - posted on 06/28/2011

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We got pregnant with our second when our first was 18 months. I think it is a perfect age difference. Not too close that they will be competing, but not too far apart that they can't relate. I've read that research shows that between 2 and 3 years apart is best for everyone. Just make sure your oldest becomes your special helper and gets lots of positive attention, and you will be golden. :) I wish you the best!

Marisa - posted on 06/27/2011

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Make sure you and your partner are on the same page. We found out at Christmas we were expecting! It was a surprise but we were going to start trying in January so it worked out for us.. My son turned 2 in Jan .. Good luck! Sometimes God blesses us with kids when we are not expecting it .. They are truly a blessing !!!

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Janeta - posted on 07/04/2011

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I would recomend waiting where your first child understands mommy is having another baby and can help you with the new baby, you want to make sure that your first baby doesnt feel replaced or he/she is going to have a lot of resitment towards the new baby/

Ginger - posted on 07/04/2011

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The right time for another child is when you have one. I mean there is no set in stone 'right' time. Mine are : 1st and second child 4 years, 2 and 3rd are 2 years, 3 and 4th are 4 and 4th and 5th are 4... there is a 14 year difference between first born and my youngest- But I myself didn't actively choose- my body did. I have found though that the two children that are 2 years apart tend to fuss and argue more with themselves than any other siblings LOL

Libby - posted on 07/04/2011

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The answer is- When u & your partner are ready to try again. Listen to your body, it will tell you if your ready.

I come from a large family with 7 children. There are different ages between all of us... like; between 1 & 2 = 6yrs, 2 & 3 = 3yrs, 3 & 4 = 20mths, 4 & 5 = 3yrs, 5 & 6 = 4yrs, 6 & 7 are twins!!!!! There is 18yrs between 1 & 7...

Theres no set list of how many years should be between children. Especially if there are complications in falling or staying pregnant.
Hope this helps & good luck!!!

Cassie - posted on 07/03/2011

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YEA THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG TIME I JUST HAD MY 2ND BABY AND HE IS NOW 10 MOTHS AND MY DAUGHTER IS 10 SO I GET A BABYSITTER IF ANYTHING ;)

Anne - posted on 07/01/2011

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My son and daughter are almost exactly 2years apart. When my youngest was a newborn, both children were at very demanding stages, and it was difficult. Now that they are older, however, I love that they have so much in common. It was tough at first, but definitely got easier!

Deardiananelson - posted on 07/01/2011

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Perfect. My three children each have a 2 1/2 year gap between them. I always thought that was great because the 2 1/2 year old was able to, and wanted to, do a lot for her/himself. They are busy and don't feel as much sibling rivalry. Mine were quite nurturing to the new baby.

It is said that if there is 4 years between your children then they are two only children.

Deardiananelson - posted on 07/01/2011

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Perfect. My three children each have a 2 1/2 year gap between them. I always thought that was great because the 2 1/2 year old was able to, and wanted to, do a lot for her/himself. They are busy and don't feel as much sibling rivalry. Mine were quite nurturing to the new baby.

It is said that if there is 4 years between your children then they are two only children.

[deleted account]

I was told by my OB that she did not want me to try to have another child for one year after my first child. 1 and 2 are 2 years 5 months apart. I am expecting our third in January, making my others 5 and almost 3. I would definitely talk to your significant other as well as your physician about whether you are ready to try again.

Leiny - posted on 06/29/2011

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well, to be honest there is no right time. i have 2 boys one is 4 yrs old and the other is 15 months old. although one is much older then the other it is still very hard but all well worth it. heads up my 15 month old beats up my 4 yr old ...lol... whenever you feel ready just go with it !!!!!

Gemma - posted on 06/29/2011

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i love having my children close together its hard work but id rather get it all over and done with than wait and have to start all over again every few years . i have an 11 yr old from previous relationship and met my now husband 4years ago in 4 years weve had 4 children. started with twins that are 3 now. i thought if we could cope with them we could do any thing and just kept on getting pregnant. after 4 girls we are soon to have our first boy this will be our last. all my children are like best friends most of the time its very rewarding

[deleted account]

Also realize that for many couples, as each month progresses and there is no pregnancy, 1 partner may change his/her mind with wanting more kids. It's important to communicate with your partner. I knew almost right away that I DIDN'T want any more kids. One and done-for many different reasons. But the actual conversations with my husband were harder than I thought. He DID want at least one more child. I didn't. It was a lot of talking and communicating to be able to reach a decision that was best for us. And for us? 1 child and we are very happy & content.

Joanne - posted on 06/28/2011

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I believe the right time is different for everyone. I started feeling to urge to have our 2nd when our first was 2.5. years old. They are 3.5 years apart. My only stipulation was that I only wanted one child in diapers at a time=)

Nichole - posted on 06/28/2011

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I don't think there is a right answer question it depends on what you want/prefer, what your so wants/prefers, & what God wants....

I've been ready for #2 since my son was 4 months old. My husband agreed for me to go off birth control when our son was 9 months. He was actually 'ready' for #2 when our son turned 1. Our son is now almost 22 months and no baby 2 on the way. I just started the fertility process so maybe soon. *Fingers Crossed*

Pamela - posted on 06/28/2011

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Up to you. Things to consider: Having more than one baby in diapers at a time; space in the home; your level of patience and your ability to keep active with more than one child at a time.

When I was young it was not unusual for women to have a baby every year (and many did). Also consider the financial end of it, though to me that should be the last consideration. I have found that people who say they "can't afford it financially" are not leaving room in thei lives for the Creator to provide what they need. They usually think they're in charge of the picture which is really a big misconception.

[deleted account]

There is no "right" time. It depends on a million factors. My 2 kids are 4 years apart. My eldest was a "surprise" so before we decided to have another, we wanted to be married and live in our own house (we lived with my mom since we were only 18 at the time our son was born). Well my daughter came 1 year after we moved into our house :-). The pros of having them so close is that you are so used to nightime feedings, diapering, etc. We almost felt like 1st time parents again b/c of the difference. But what I liked about a 4 year difference was my son was old enough to help and old enough to understand that he may have to wait for things b/c I was with the baby. It is hard to reason with a 2 year old. Siblings will be close no matter the age gap. My sister and I are 6 years apart. Didn't help much in grade school, but now age doesn't matter. If they are a school year or two apart, then they may share the same friends. So, if you want one, and have the living space and car space, then go for it!

Mimi - posted on 06/28/2011

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Whatever's right for you is the right time. However, I had my two daughters really close (17 months apart) and at 16 months and nearly 3 they are the best of friends already. It's nice to have kids close in age...

Shainal - posted on 06/27/2011

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Hi there , personally i dont think theres ever a specific time to try for another baby , I am a mother of 2 boys aged 2 years and 2 mnths and the other is 5 mntths old ! But i have read that , its good to introduce a new sibling before the other turns 2 :) Happy Planning

Sharon - posted on 06/27/2011

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My 1st two are 20 months apart! That was great because he was talking etc so was lovely to see him excited about his brother. There is only 13 months between 2 and 3 it was easier for me going from 2 to 3 kids than 1 to 2 kids. I guess it depends on how much work your first one is? But I love that they are close, they all get on so well! You will know. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 06/27/2011

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It all depends on if you & your SO feel like you are ready or not. For me, I go back & forth all the time on whether or not we should try for #2. I wanted to try for another baby next month, but realistically, I think it's better for us to wait it out. My son is 21 months old & there's so many things going on right now that I think I'd like to wait and see how things are going in about a year. Good luck with your decision. :)

Carly - posted on 06/27/2011

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No, it depends on your family, work, how you think you will manage, etc... I have had 4 children in under 5 years, but I knew I could cope (I was always pregnant again by the time my babies were 8 months old) and I wanted children who would play together. I found it takes a good 18 months before a baby will start to 'play' with other children, so if the children are 2 years apart then that makes the older child 3.5 years. Which in Australia means they are heading off to Kinder next year and then you are left with 1 child on their own at home. Not what I wanted. Also depends on how many children in total you want... It's such an individual thing, different for everybody.

Alexandra - posted on 06/27/2011

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i have two 14 months apart, and the latest one is 16 months apart with the middle one. Love it, just love it. Way better than waiting, for me.

Katie - posted on 06/27/2011

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I have two 18 mths apart......it's HARD, but getting easier everyday. When you're ready, you're ready....just think, the closer together the sooner you're out of diapers :)

Firebird - posted on 06/27/2011

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Yes there is a right time to have another baby. That time is different for every family. I personally couldn't have handled 2 under 3 but I know lots of people that can, and that's great... for them. My daughter is 6 and I'm still in no huge hurry to reproduce again. Then again, I'm only 26 so I've still got lots of time to have another. =)

Tamara - posted on 06/27/2011

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I think it varys by families, some families are good with them really close others not so much. I think its something to sit down and discuss. There are the financial aspects of it. As well as sometimes having them really close it can strain a marriage.

My first two are 11 months apart, then a 7 year gap the little two are 14 months apart, The first two was hard but then again I was 18 when all of this came.

Sharon has some great things to sit back and think about and discuss with DH before taking the leap

Good Luck deciding.

Nicole - posted on 06/27/2011

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AAll my children are 5 and 6 years apart except for the last two and they are 2 years apart. It's so crazy having only two years apart. If I did it again I woukd wait 5 years so they could get the 1on 1 attention they deserve. I have a 14, 8, 3 and 1 year old. It's one busy life. But enjoyable most of the time.

Sherri - posted on 06/27/2011

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yes when you are ready. When my son was 18mo's I was delivering his brother. They are 18mo's apart almost to the day.

Jessica - posted on 06/27/2011

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my second child was born when my son was 16 months old and they are the best of friends. it's ultimately up to you. i have a third one on the way and my son is 4 and my daughter will be three by the time this one is born. if you want another child i'd say go for it

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 06/27/2011

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There really is no right time to have a child although it should be when you can afford another one. I didn't exactly go that route. I have a 6 almost 7 year old from my previous marriage, but I just had a baby back in March. I really couldn't afford it. But my husband and I are making it work the best we can.

Stifler's - posted on 06/27/2011

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I had another baby when my baby was 16 months. I have to say if I could go back and think things through, NO WAY. The constant combination of screaming and crying.......

Brianna - posted on 06/26/2011

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i think u could start anytime you want. it all depends on what u can handle. i really really want another baby right now (my daughter is 19months) but im waiting till the fall because i want a summer or fall baby.. but waiting is soo hard lol

LauraBeth - posted on 06/26/2011

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YES!!! mine was 8mo when I found out I was preggo with number 2, I love hacing them so close together!!! :o) keeps you on your toes

Angela - posted on 06/26/2011

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no right time just when your ready for another. my 1st 2 are 15 month apart, the 3rd came 5 yrs later and the 4th will be 22 month behind. siblings are siblings at any age difference lol.

Jenn - posted on 06/26/2011

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I found I was pregnant with my second baby when my first child was 19 months old. I have enjoyed my children being just over two years apart. They are very close and best friends!

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