Emily - posted on 04/01/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )
please bear with me this may be a long one!! im concerned about my 20 month old son. he has so far been developementally late on most things. he never rolled, sat up at 10 months, started bum shuffling at 12 months refused to weight bear of any kind until 15 months and only started walking 2 weeks ago at over 19 months. he has seen a physio and been diagnosed with joint hypermobility syndrome and all his joints are very wobbly altho tbh it doesnt seem to affect him much apart from he falls quite alot and gets very tired as using his muscles alot. im not sure if these things are linked to the probs we are currently having...please read the following and let me know what do you think?
my son has alot of behaviours that on their own can be seen just as regular toddler behaviours but these behaviours are in the extreme and when put all together are pinging up a few red flags in my mind. anyway here goes...
CANT CONCENTRATE - isnt interested in puzzles, books t.v, or any toys except cars and trains and jumps from one activity to the next but never really seems to do anything. he has only just started showing an interest in feeding himself but most of the meal is spent in extreme tantrums as he cant get the food in quick enough but he wont let me help.
ALWAYS MOVING - very accident prone - has had fingers exrayed and head glued three times already. constantly climbing always running-not walking. runs in very tight circles all the time. alsways over excited. never sits still always fidgets squirming throwing himself around. when trying to hold him eg if he is sat on my lap he will throw his head backwards ive had 2 full on black eyes! if im holding him on my hip he throws himself backwards and i cant keep hold of him.
SLEEP DISTURBANCES - he is barricaded into his bed because he climbs and does somersaults when put in bed. because i have made it so he cant get out i just leave him to settle himself. it doesnt usually take more than 20 mins and no crying. while he is asleep he is very restless and wakes himself up by hitting walls etc 4 or 5 times a night i have to go into him.
EXCESSIVE CRYING - gets very worked up over nothing and has extreme tantrums-he bites himself and screams and throws himself around. im the only one who can calm him and its difficult i have to hold him very tight rock him and shush him. he is overly emotional and very angry alot of the time.
IMPULSIVENESS - he hits out alot but if u watch him its not because hes angry or not getting his way or 'to hurt anyone' its more like he cant control his arms. he constantly headbutts people in a hyper way. he makes very loud noises alot of the time its like babble but at the top of his lungs none of it makes any sense
SPEECH - delayed - only word is bye and only sound is choo choo. doesnt make any animal noises and only knows a few facial bodyparts to point to but usually gets them wrong several times before finding the right one.
OTHER NOTICEABLE TRAITS-i dont feel like he understands basic comands certainly doesnt understand 'no' its not just a matter of choosing not to understand i honestly feel like there is no connection to what im saying. his only way of making himself understood is pointing and grunting he makes no effort to verbalise. he has no response to any kind of discipline or punishment despite me starting at about 8 months and being very consistant - his sister has had the same discipline methods and understands her boundaries. he has absolutely no sense of danger and a very high pain threshold eg he will put his hand on the hot oven front and i will pull it away and say 'no hot' and he will immediately do it again and again and again despite me moving him away. he doesnt seem to feel it to the point where he has burnt himself and gone back for more. he doesnt respond to panic in my voice - doesnt even flicker or look at me. he also seems to have little idea of personal space and for instance will get right in his sisters face and screech or poke her.
he has a sister 13 months older and she has no problems walked at 11 months and is normal in her speech etc and other milestones. my sons ears have been tested and are fine. this is really starting to bring me down as i have been asked by several people if he has adhd. a health visitor (not mine) but a friend of mine who has 2 teanagers with adhd and autism also thinks all the above are all red flags. my day to day life is very hard dealing with his behaviour i seem to just be a referee between my kids. as i said these are all toddler behaviours but they are very extreme and toddlers dont usually do all of this together! my worry is not so much that adhd is a possibility but more that if this is the problem then no doctor will be interested until he is 5 or 6 which means i have another 4 years dealing with this behaiour with no support. i dont honestly think autism is the issue he is bright as a button has good eye contact and alot of his behaviour comes across as naughty. alot of my friends see bits of these behaviours and laugh because it looks funny or cute and cheeky but tbh i just dont find it funny because i see it a hundred times a day and every time i see it there is something niggling in the back of my mind that something isnt right i just cant quite put my finger on what it is. please let m know what your thoughts are thank you