Staying - posted on 03/04/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )
Husband of 7 years constantly demands to be alone. He sleeps on the couch and gets angry if myself or my kids want to be in the same room with him at any given time.
He stays at home with our 2.5 year old, I own my own business and work outside the home full time, and run a smaller online business on the side. He has been out of work for about 1.5 years.
Aside from working, I cook, do most of the cleaning, all of the laundry, shopping, errands, bill paying, etc. He doesn't have any obligations aside from looking after the youngest and being home when our 4th grader comes home from school and doesn't take it upon himself to do anything extra. He stays up late because he says he can't sleep, and him (along with the 2.5 year old) sleep until at least 11AM while I am at work.
In addition to his constant demand to be alone, he also rarely attends outings (ie: soccer games, school functions). The worst part is his attitude, he is constantly and consistently rude to me and our children. He calls my daughter fat (she isn't, her DR advises she is in a healthy and normal weight for her age), he tells both kids that they are stupid, idiots, annoying, pieces of sh*t, etc. He cusses at them regularly "get the f*uck out of my way".. etc.
He makes constant comments about my weight (I'm a size 4) and says things like "you need to take your fat a*s to the gym", and also comments whenever he can about what I am not doing right, or things he asked me to do that I forgot to do.
I bring up the fact that he shouldn't speak to the kids like that, because they will take it personally, and that it breaks my heart to hear someone (that is supposed to love them) speak to them that way. His stance on it is "well if they don't listen to me and 'don't hear me' when I ask them to do something 3 or 4 different times, they aren't listening to those things either, so what does it matter?" or "well they deserve it for being stupid".
Both kids are smart, respectful and very well mannered, my son always did well in day care (before I stopped paying for him to go since the husband was staying at home) and my daughter has no issues at school, sports, etc. We get compliments on their behavior all the time. They are just being kids and in my opinion need understanding, guidance and encouragement.
What do you think?