Is this teacher bullying my 5 year old? Or am I crazy?

Brittney - posted on 03/16/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )




Okay. This may get long so let me apologize in advance :) My 5 year old son is in kindergarten. He is very sweet and considerate little boy. But he does have an attitude at times and tries to hide when he thinks he is in trouble. He has never been accused of it at school but does hide at home and my parents house. A little background on this situation. This is his teacher's second year at teaching a class by herself. So she is new. Okay, problem 1. Two weeks into the school year this teacher tells me that my son will most likely have to repeat kindergarten because he wasn't showing any interest in learning. He just wanted to play. Okay I get that. But since he has already missed 4 days of school (he had some dental work done and had to be put to sleep) shouldn't we wait until closer to the end of the year? Well for the next couple of weeks I would ask her at least once a week about how he was doing with his studies. She would reiterate that we might want to think about holding him back. Then one day I got irritated and just stopped asking. At conferences the first time she explained how smart little man was and how sweet he is and how compassionate. Then one day he comes home and tells me he got his snack taken away. I was a bit irritated because we parents are the ones that provide the snack. (We take turns rotating all the parents everyday bringing snacks and drinks for the whole class). In my opinion if I am providing snacks then what gives the teacher the right to take them away as a form of punishment? There are other things that can be done. Take away recess time, center time etc. Anyways when talking to the teacher, my son had tackled a first grade girl. Now when I say tackle I mean he tried to tackle. My son is 5 years old and wears 3t-4t clothes and my 3 year old daughter is taller then him. He wears a size 7 shoe. His doctor has said that he is underweight and is too short. So neways I was upset with my son, but I asked her why take snack? Couldn't you take recess away for a day or two? Well upon further investigation (I have a first grade daughter. It was her friend that my son tackled) I asked her what happened and she said that two first grade boys were dragging my son around the playground and he was crying and my daughter went to tell the recess teacher and she told her to stop tattling. REALLY? So when my son finally got away, all these little kids were standing around pointing and laughing so he said momma I tried to tackle the first person I seen. He said his back burned. I pulled up his shirt and low and behold he had scratches all down his back from the wood chips on the playground. And dried blood on his shirt and the tip of his shorts. I took pictures. I asked my daughter if the little boy that did this got in trouble and she said no. I was furious. That night we had open house at school and I decided that I would show his teacher his back. When I did she says that she seen it but wasn't positive that it was done on the playground. How else would that have happened. Since she couldn't prove what happened because she was not out there she couldn't do anything. Well he got in trouble! So the next day I called the principal and told her what was happening and she promised to take care of it and asked me to email the pictures. I did and my daughter said that the little boy lost his recess.(My son did get into trouble for tackling another child let alone a girl! He was grounded from about everything for a week and received extra chores.) After this his teacher was constantly telling me that he was bad in class. He flicked a pencil one day in class. Lost his recess. He and some other boys at his table were swinging there legs under the table kicking each other. HE lost his snack because apparently he started it because the other boy started crying. I again told his teacher I didn't agree with taking snack away at all. That she needed to find other ways to punish and if those did not work then we could revisit the situation. I thought that was reasonable. I mean he is my child right? I have a say in his discipline right? Okay so I hadn't heard anything in awhile. Then one day I pick him up and she tells me that he was out of control all day. I said okay what kind of stuff was he doing. She says he just wouldn't listen. I asked for an example. She became irritated and said that he was just not listening to anything and then she walked away. Ummm...okay. Well another parent I knew was standing there (yes she gave me this info on how bad my kid was in front of other parents. What happened to discretion?) and told me that her son had had that teacher last year and she did the same thing to her kid. I personally know this child he is very well behaved. The parent told me that things got so bad that her son started pooping his pants in school. He didn't do it in pre-k and didn't do it at home. Only at school. She didn't know what to do. Took him to the doc and there was nothing medically wrong. So the teacher called DHS on her. My friend works for DHS removing children from there home and placing them in foster care. DHS told her that they new personally that the mother was in the home and was not an absentee parent. Also the mother has lupus and is sick and hospitalized sometimes. The mother went to the principal to try to have the child removed from her class but they wouldn't do that so she gave up. The boy is in first grade and has not had an accident all year. Okay so my best friend who also had a son in this ladies class, started having issues. The little boy has adhd and the teacher wanted him medicated. The mother did not want to but she tried the medication and did not like the way it made the kid act and she had read some stuff about the medication so she stopped it. The teacher would ask him if he had taken his pills and if not she would have the office call his mom. After several meetings she finally convienced the teacher that her son was not going to take medication. Well her son started to pee his pants in school. (This kid was also seeing a counselor for some other issues). The teacher blamed it on the adhd. Doc and counselor said that it has nothing to do with the adhd. The mom finally got tired of the teachers constant comments about how horrible her kid is and how he needs to be medicated so she decided to completely pull him out and homeschool him. Guess what! He doesn't pee his pants anymore. Well that was right after Christmas break. In feb. she wanted to have a meeting about my son being held back in kindergarten because of his handwriting, size and maturity. I don't think that he acts any different from any other 5 year old child. And size really? And yes his handwriting is really bad and we work on it all the time. But she says he is very smart and very well behaved. He has mastered everything to go onto the next grade. But he still needs to be held back? And the latest. Okay so apparently last Thursday when waiting in line to go outside and be picked up by parents my son pushed a little boy and the little boy hit his head on wall and got a knot on his head. His teacher came out and told me that he had been very naughty and I needed to pick him up in the office. When I got into the office (expecting to talk to the principal) my son was sitting in a chair bawling crocodile tears. In the office where a number of school personal parents and children. The secretary's assistant asked me if I knew what happened. (Disgusted look on her face) And of course I told her no. And she says it was horrible. Bad thoughts are going through my head. Holy crap he is gonna get suspended. He is in so much trouble. What could he have done? Why are we not talking to the principal? So a teacher who I knew came in and the office assistant asked if she was going to explain what happened she said no that she doesn't have time and left. The whole time everyone in the office is staring at my son. Then this teacher walked in. I have never met her. I had no idea of her name or what her position was in school and why she was explaining what happened to me and not my sons teacher. Well she calls my son over to us. And in front of EVERY person in the office this is what she said and I quote "(sons name) are you going to tell your mother what happened?" My son covers his eyes with his sleeve. "Get your arm down and you need to tell you mother what happened" my son takes his arm down and looks at his shoes. "If I have to tell your mother what happened you are going to be in even more trouble" who? I know my son is embarrassed there was about 13 people starring at him. he would tell me when we were home and we were alone in his room. Well she says, "It was absolutely horrible. and then explains what happened. And says "It was all done with the intention to hurt the other child and you need to talk to him about keeping his hands to himself, This is unacceptable behavior" ANd I agree. He should never intentionally hurt anyone else under any circumstances and assured her that we would take care of it at home. My son told me when we were in the car who he had pushed and he said momma I didn't mean to hurt him but he was calling me names. And I explained that I knew he didn't mean to hurt him and I was sorry that he was called names but that under no circumstance should we ever push hit or kick another person. He said ok and he was sorry he got in trouble. I luckily knew the little boys mother (they live around the corner and the kids often play together) So I took him to apologize the mom said that the bump was not that bad and that her son was over dramatic but she was upset that the school did not even let her know what had happened. When the little boy seen my son he ran up to him and asked if he came to play because he got a new horn for his bike. My son said that he was sorry for pushing him and hurting him and the little boy said that it was okay and he was sorry for calling him names and then it was over they wanted to play. Of course I had to say no but that told me that my son and the little boy were both okay and still friends. So anyways. The next day I went to school and when I picked him up I asked him if he had gotten in trouble that day and if he was good. He said he was but had lost his whole recess. I asked why he just shrugged his shoulder. So I asked his teacher why he had lost it. She said because of the incident yesterday. I said well I thought the punishment was being sent to the office. She said he wasn't sent to the office but was walked to the office. Because it was at the very end of the day and they were on there way outside to be picked up. Ummm....okay so why was he walked to the office? She said that it was just the way the teacher decided to do it. Okay well you are his teacher why didn't I speak to you and if the incident warrented being picked up in the office why wasn't he talked to by the principal. She said that she didn't know because she was not in there. I asked if she explained to him why he lost recess and she said that she told him. And he had asked why he was sent to the office and she said that it was because that is were his mom needed to pick him up. And I told the teacher that it all didn't make sense to me. At all. And she went on to say that she had had problems with my son all week long. uh ok....well I said this is Friday so if you have had problems all week why am I just hearing about it? She said that it was because when the child is in her class it is her responsibility and she needs to deal with it. Well he is my child and if he is having behavior problems then you need to notify me so we can work together to fix the problem. She says well I had to take snack away two days this week. Okay I said why? And I thought snack was a last resort type a thing like after his card was turned to red. Oh she says I did away with the cards. I just take snack away when the situation requires a more severe punishment. Okay I said what did he do. Well the first time he and 4 other boys where wrestling around during recess and one ended up with a bloody nose. Okay understandable that he would get in trouble. But why snack? He got in trouble at recess shouldn't the punishment be recess related? THat question was ignored. And the 2nd time she said was because he had his foot on the hill at recess and he knows he is not allowed to climb the hill. I said okay so you take recess time away not snack. She said she would punish as she sees fit. I said well you will not take snack away from my child again unless you contact me first and we BOTH agree that it is an appropriate punishment. She says do we need to talk to the principal. I said no not unless you decide to take snack away again. I will not provide snacks for all the kids in the class if you are going to take them away. I paid for them not you. I HAVE to provide for every child on my day and I expect EVERY child to get their snack. Probably shouldn't have been rude but seemed to me that she was not respecting my opinion although I am the parent. Well she talks to another teacher who I actually new and had been to my mother in law's store (she works in a grocery store) and has bragged about how well behaved both of my children are and how respectful and kind hearted they are. I have NEVER had a complaint about there behavior (other than from my parents or my sisters but they are family) from anyone. He went to daycare for 3 years, not one complaint of behavior. Being a loner yes concerns where voiced because of that. Numerous Vacation Bible Schools have never had issues and his pre-k teacher never had an issue. She was concerned about him being a loner as well. So this other teacher looks at me and says, and I quote, "If we could paddle him we would but unfortunately our hands are tied! Unbelieveable!!!" and turns around and walks away. EXCUSE ME? So this morning my son tells me that he didn't like standing in front of the class and answering questions. I assumed that they were doing some kind of pop quiz of numbers letters or site words. I told him that he would have to work on that because he would have to talk in front of people all through school. And he said every single time I get in trouble?! And I was like what do you mean? Why did you have to stand in front of the class and answer questions? He said that he had to stand in front of the class and tell them why he had gotten in trouble for pushing the other little boy and had to apologize to him in front of the class and then answer questions from the class about why he pushed him. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? That is degrading, embarrassing and wrong on SO many levels!!! Well it is spring break and when we return to school I plan on having a meeting with teacher and principal at the same time to get answers about all this and if I am not satisfied I will go to the superintendent and then to the school board if I have to. In my opinion this is unacceptable behavior from a teacher. I believe my son was punished in a way I felt to be unacceptable (should he have been punished YES by all means) and was embarrassed and degraded ON PURPUSE by someone I trust to protect and teach him. What are your opinions?? Am I crazy?

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