Issues between my husband and daughter

Michelle - posted on 12/25/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Ok. So I hope someone can give me some advice. My husband of 6 years is very rude and hateful toward my daughter who is 14 years old. He has a 17 year old daugher. He acts as though the 17 yr old is the perfect one and my 14 yr old is the evil one. He is constantly speaking bad of everything about her (music, clothes, friends, etc.). Yet his 17 yr old is doing the very same things and nothing is said to her. Actually much of her actions are far worse than my daughter's. I know my daughter's actions warrant discipline and I do that. In fact she was grounded for 2 weeks not long ago. He does not get violent or anything like that but everything my daughter does is wrong in his eyes. Just yesterday on the way to a Christmas dinner an incident happened. My daughter was dressed conservatively. She had a very nice dress on with leggings underneath it so she was covered from neck to feet. And my husband made the comment "She looks like an idiot" when my daughter got out of the car. And it is basically because he doesn't like her leather jacket. This is really pushing me to the point of leaving. I do not want to end my marriage but I can't allow someone to treat my daughter that way. I have tried to tell him how his comments hurt me and her but he never listens and says whatever he wants anyway. Anyone?

4 Comments

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Dove - posted on 12/26/2014

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Any man called my child an idiot and he would be out of our lives immediately... until he would submit to some serious counseling. Do not allow this man to continue to tear down your daughter. She needs love and acceptance (as well as consistent and reasonable boundaries) from the adults in her life. It is up to YOU to protect her spirit. If she is not getting love and acceptance from the adult male role model in her life... she WILL go looking for it elsewhere... and that could have disastrous results for her.

David - posted on 12/26/2014

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Simple

DUMP THE ASSHOLE IMMEDIATELY

DO NOT PASS GO - GO DIRECTLY TO LEGAL COUNSEL AND FILE FORMAL
PAPERWORK AFTER YOU HAVE DONE THE PLANNING AND MOVED FUNDS
AND CONTROL TO ENSURE YOU HAVE YOUR RIGHTS FOR YOU AND DAUGHTER PROTECTED

LET HIM AND HIS DAUGHTER GO THEIR OWN WAY

THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SOLVED

IT IS AN ISSUE OF VALUES AND CHARACTER HE LACKS

Ledia - posted on 12/26/2014

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I'm usually a pretty big proponent of marriage counselling, but if a man ever said my child "looks like an idiot" his ass would be out on the curb within the hour. That is just completely.......idiotic. I really can't fathom a man thinking that language in reference to a child, and withing earshot, would be okay....

Michelle - posted on 12/26/2014

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I would be suggesting marriage counselling. If he doesn't want to go then let him know that if he won't address the issue of treating the girls differently then you will have to look after your daughter first and leave.
Don't just tell him the comments hurt you, tell him it's very unfair to treat the girls differently and give him examples. Ask him to explain what the difference is and why his daughter gets away with things.

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