It's it okay for an 8 year old to touch herself

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Erica - posted on 11/27/2013

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I don't care what psychology says .this is my opinion in just because you let your girls play with there selfs doesn't mean we should all go out in buy sex toys for our kids you said in a few years she would do more exploring in learne that it feels great she is only 8 so a few years she be what like around twelve so your saying she will learne what the real thing feels like in she'd like it .why would you think is okay for your kids to play with there self because you looked it up in saw It in a book. In having a degree in psychology doesn't mean we should let our kids play with there private parts .i wonder how many parents are okay with there 8 years old playing with there self. I hope it's not just me who disagrees.do what you want with your kid but that is my comment. To You Ana.......

Michelle - posted on 11/29/2013

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I think a lot of you are confusing touching with masturbating. Touching is completely normal, we all do it. Masturbating is a lot different and usually ends with orgasm.
At her age she would know it feels good but it's not classed as masturbating.

Dove - posted on 11/27/2013

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You don't have to keep posting... I wasn't even referring to you in my first comments here, but to Natalie comparing 'allowing' a child to touch their OWN body w/ allowing a child to smoke pot....

I'm not being funny. I'm being serious because I actually happen to care about my children's psychological well being and NOT creating life long damaging body issues.

Yes, we will have to agree to disagree. I am still curious on how old your children are though... because insinuations have been made that parenting 'my' way is going to raise preteens that are going to go out and have sex.... and my parenting is producing the opposite.

Erica - posted on 11/26/2013

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Some things is just not okay in that one of them.its our job to teach our kids the right in the wrong way .she should focus on being a kid not being in a room playing with her self .lets not open the doors for our children to do adult things.or we will pay for it in the end in so will our kids. You want your kid to do as you say. Not. As you do. With that being said do kids stuff not adult stuff. She will have time for that when she is old enough. Erica Negron

Dove - posted on 11/30/2013

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I'm wondering why people think it is wrong for any human being to touch their own body...? I agree w/ Michelle W. that at 8 it is probably no where near as 'intense' as some of you are insinuating. The idea that any human being should not be allowed to touch any portion of their own body just will never make sense to me.

And as far as 'allowing' it goes... how do you monitor something like that? Video surveillance? Or do you try and catch them 'in the act' and then punish them... therefore causing life long sexual issues and shame?

This is something I'd really like explained to me by anyone that thinks they can keep their child from touching what belongs to that child.

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Michelle - posted on 01/30/2016

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Locking due to it being an old post.
Feel free to start your own conversation.
Michelle,
WtCoM Mod.

Ashley - posted on 01/30/2016

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Yes my my daughters' dad would do the same thing and I always interfere because I want my child to know her body and as well be able to let me know if anyone has touched her inappropriately.

Sarah - posted on 01/30/2016

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First, this post is over 2 years old. Second, learn your biology. Some children regularly masturbate to orgasm at 5 or younger. Perfectly normal. The goal at this age would be to teach proper hygiene and safety; as well as to do such behavior in private.

Danelle - posted on 01/30/2016

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I don't believe that an 8 year old girl should be masturbating herself to an orgasm. And doing it quite often. I do not know why she is doing this, and I know it is normal to touch one's self, but to the degree of orgasms? This girl has shows sexual tendencies since I have know her, and that was when she was 6 years old. She has many behavioral problems at school and at home. Shouldn't she be taken in to talk to a behavioral specialist? I think so, but the young mother does not think so.

Maryrose75248 - posted on 09/17/2015

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I was feeling alone i will pass on telling my husband,but its crazy my girl is on this stage. Sigh.

Marissa - posted on 04/25/2015

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I actually have no idea why so many moms have a problem with this, I get that it may be an "adult thing" but children don't know what they're doing, they just do it because it feels good so they just do it :/ id focus on her doing good in school and not messing with boys. Not focusing on "oh no my daughter is touching herself, she's 8!" Females actually start touching their area at a very young age. It's not like she is fingering her area. If she was doing that then I'd sit her down and talk to her and ask her how'd she find this kind of stuff out, how did she figure out this stuff. I'd be very worried if she was watching pornography. Not if she's touching herself. Focus on if she's doing good in school. That's how my mom treated me, so I'll pass this down to other fellow mothers.

Mae - posted on 01/02/2014

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I think its okay because she is getting to know her body and she is experimenting with it. I also think that you should talk to her about it and ask her why she wants/likes to do it

Amanda - posted on 12/01/2013

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My 3 year old does it and I asked her pediatrician and she said, and I quote "the average little girl begins to touch herself at 2 1/2 to 3 years old and the average little boy will start at 1 1/2 to 2 years old". But I will also say this, it's one of the biggest things my husband and I fight about bc he will spank her for doing it. All I say to her is if she's gonna do "that", it can ONLY be in her bed, at night time. Really the only time she does it, is when she is having a difficult time flling asleep. So would I say encorage it?? No, but don't tell her she isn't allowed to do it.

Michelle - posted on 11/30/2013

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Like I have said, touching and masturbating are completely different. Maybe the OP needs to clarify.

Valerie - posted on 11/30/2013

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@ michelle baker well everyone is entittled to their own opinions you will stick with the fact that you and your friends believe its okay for a CHILD to touch herself i understand that children dont know and its okay for the parent to explain and let them know about their parts as children do become curious. but as far as allowing them t touch themselves is something i do not agree with as i said you will stick to your opinion and i will stick to mine.

Michelle - posted on 11/30/2013

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I am just posting what I agree with and what the other moms are saying and there is nothing wrong with me .I just have a different point of view and I just ask 3 of my girlfriends who right now are hanging out with me .So it just so happen to read the post and they also agree with me on that

Valerie - posted on 11/30/2013

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once again erica negron i agree with yu she snt teaching her daughter anything good just bad shes basically saying that she will be okay with her daughter having sex at such a young age then i feel sorry for that child cause she will more likely become a very young mother herself.and that is also not okay

Valerie - posted on 11/30/2013

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i agree wth you an 8 yr. old touching herself should not in any way be encouraged and its not okay for those who believe its okay theres obviously something wrong with you i as well will never be okay with any child touching themselves.

Gena - posted on 11/29/2013

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What does FYI stand for?
Its totaly normal,children explore their body and that is ok.

Emily - posted on 11/28/2013

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It's completely Alright to have kids touch themselves, they're ready when they're ready.

Dove - posted on 11/28/2013

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If you were over it and didn't have time for this you wouldn't keep posting....

Erica - posted on 11/28/2013

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You said I'm not a good mother .your right I'm not a good mother I'm an amazing mom FYI lol .your not fit to be a mother your crazy in you need to read more about psychology being that you believe in it so much. Any way I don't have time for you so get over yourself I'm moved on in you must like to talk a lot of sh.t so find someone who care about what you yap about .

Anna - posted on 11/28/2013

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Erica, you said you do not care what psychology says ... I am sorry, but in that case you are not fit to be a mother.

Being a mother means caring for your children, and also not doing any harm.

Not caring what psychology says ... that may sound cool to you, but essentially you are saying you are not going to wear seatbelts, because you don't care what physics says.

There are a large number of studies, 1000s of scientists, psychologists, therapists and counselors, and 10000s of patients that support the opinion put forth by Dove and myself.

You will find that it is not the children of well-educated, caring parents that end up as teen mothers, but the children of uneducated parents not-caring-what-psychology-says-because-they-know-better.

Dove - posted on 11/27/2013

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lol.... this post is only about THIS topic. If you are done you don't have to post on it anymore.

Erica - posted on 11/27/2013

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Okay if you fill that good for you.we already agreed to disagree .so move on next topic my mind is not going to change.in neither is yours so next topic

Erica - posted on 11/27/2013

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You trying to be funny lol right. So like wise. in the age of my kid doesn't matter to you. So I guess can agree to disagree .next topic

Erica - posted on 11/27/2013

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Yes I am entitled to my opinion in I will never be okay with child playing with her self lol so get over yourself Lol :)

Dove - posted on 11/27/2013

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By the way... marking posts that aren't intended to be funny AS funny can be viewed as harassment here.... Just an FYI. It's rude.

Erica - posted on 11/27/2013

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I agree with you Natalie sex is for adults in so is playing with yourself its not for 8 year old. Thats is my comment Erica

Dove - posted on 11/27/2013

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That isn't a fact though.
Again I ask... how old are your kids? Because I have preteens who currently have zero desire to have sex outside of marriage... so forgive me for not jumping on your 'band wagon'.

Erica - posted on 11/27/2013

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I guess miss guided is we're I'll be before I would be okay with my daughter to play with her self at 8 years old.That is My opinion ouch do what want with your kids I'm just not okay with my child doing that.

Veronique - posted on 11/27/2013

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Yes but in the privacy of her room, not in public and not in front of friends

Anna - posted on 11/27/2013

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Erica, I am sorry to say this, but your opinion is based on opinion, not fact. Please look up the relevant literature in child psychology, and you will see, that the behaviour display by the girl is perfectly normal.

Dove - posted on 11/26/2013

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lol And how old are your kids? You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but your opinion doesn't match up to facts.

Dove - posted on 11/26/2013

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Perfectly normal. It's her body. She has every right to touch her own body and anyone that tells you different is, while good intentioned, misguided.

Anna - posted on 11/26/2013

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I am horrified by some of the answers I have seen on this web site.

I thought this was the 21st Century. And yet some people come with those horribly antiquated opinions from the Victorian age!

Psychologists agree that it is perfectly normal for young children to touch themselves. They are exploring their bodies and have found something that feels nice. In a few years time she will do some more exploring and find out that it feels really great, but that is not something to worry about now.

Erica - posted on 11/26/2013

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Yes that huge problem.were did she get that from you should have a talk with about that in explain to her that she to young to be doing that .she should be of age she need time tomgrow up .maybe she has to much time on her hands see if what hobby she like .or see what hobby you want her to be involved with maybe dancing soccer .thats a tough spot for any mom. But telling it okay is not answer . You want her to think in a few years now let me try to have sex. Your be a grandma soon if you keep doing that .

Natalie - posted on 11/26/2013

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As a mother, I am embarrassed by some of these responses. Telling an eight year old child that masturbation is completely okay as long as it is in private is the exact reason teenage pregnancy is at it's peak. The correct response to discovering that your CHILD is doing such things is to kindly tell her that touching yourself at that age is inappropriate no matter where she is doing it at. Also, explain to her that masturbation is for adults, not CHILDREN. Yes, children do explore their bodies, but that still doesn't mean it is okay for them to continue doing it once their parent (s) know about it. Telling them it's okay as long as it is in their bedroom is like telling your teenager that smoking marina is okay as long as he is doing it at home. Most teenagers do experiment with drugs, but as parents it is our job to tell them not to do certain things, and if they do, we discipline them. We were given these precious little miracles to be their parents, not their friends. This is my opinion on this matter. I believe everyone is entitled to their own, just as I am. I also respect each and every person's comment, but I felt as if I should give mine because I would hate for a mother/father to read this and think that everyone believes it is okay for a child to touch themselves, so he or she goes against what he thought was right simply because nobody posted the opposite of the majority. I hope whatever advise you did give your daughter was the right one for her individual self because no two children are the same, and no one answer is the correct one for everyone. Thank you all.

Lillian - posted on 11/26/2013

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Yes, this is fine. You must tell her this is not something to do in public and she should do it in her bedroom or the bathroom. It's fine for her to explore her body, just as long as she does not touch anybody elses body.

Corie - posted on 11/26/2013

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Thank you fir your response,I did talk to her on Saturday and I felt so much better after hearing several comments. You know when you first see your child doing something like that you kind of panic and wonder where she saw it, if this is normal. But knowing that it is okay it makes me feel more confident as a mom taking to her about it.

Anna - posted on 11/25/2013

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It is perfectly normal, and all my daughters have done that even before puberty was anywhere near the horizon.

Just tell her that it's a private thing, so she shouldn't be doing it in the living room when guests are around, but also tell her that it is a good and normal thing.

Ariana - posted on 11/24/2013

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Well, I might talk to her about it. If it's happening ALL the time you might want to warn her not to be doing that all the time, or go under the blankets and be discrete if it's at a time you might be walking in. It's better to just be open about these things and your expectations.

Also maybe consider making a practice of knocking if she's in her room or something, even a quick knock to say you're coming in.

Corie - posted on 11/24/2013

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Thank you Ariana for your response! I was getting to get a little worried because I felt that was something a child shouldn't do. With me working during the week I get so busy and when the weekend comes sometimes I just want to relax, she can be and one room and I can be and another but when I happen to walk in and see what I see it can be a little disturbing.

Corie - posted on 11/24/2013

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Thank you Ariana for your response! I was getting to get a little worried because I felt that was something a child shouldn't do. With me working during the week I get so busy and when the weekend comes sometimes I just want to relax, she can be and one room and I can be and another but when I happen to walk in and see what I see it can be a little disturbing.

Ariana - posted on 11/24/2013

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Yes, just not in public. Tell her she can do that in the bathroom or alone in her bedroom because it's something we do in private. Probably a good time to go over that type of thing with her (age appropriately of course).

I used to touch myself as an eight year old, it didn't morally corrupt me. You just can't be doing that out with the neighbors. :)

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