It's so hard to kick adult teen out of house

Krisblegen - posted on 09/25/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

3

0

1

My 10009 yo son has been a good kid. He didn't do drugs and even asked for help to get away from bad influences in his 10th grade year. He has always been stubborn and a little lazy at home. However, he has worked for a few years and seems to be well liked and has a descent work ethic. He has new friends since working. He didn't bring them around much so all I know of his new best friend is that his parents let him drop out of HS his senior year at 17, he has no car or drivers license and just married his Brazil girlfriend and they live in parents basement. My son has stopped paying his $200 rent, $100 ins. And $25 phone we asked of him for months now. I said he could have the rent back if he takes classes and passes them. I already paid one semester and he never finished or returned my mo ey. He also doesn't always tell me when he won't be home which was a rule of mine as I don't sleep till I know those in my home are safe at night. How do I kick him out when he doesn't appear to do drugs but just won't respect rules and pay his bills. He is rarely home as it is. I know I need to kick him out for his good but im a mess as this 6'2 kid is still in heart my child. How do we stop caring? H

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/25/2014

13,264

21

2015

So he's violated the contract that you mutually agreed to...Its time to serve him with a legal eviction notice.

Its not that you are going to stop caring, but you are going to stop enabling him to be a slacker.

My 20 YO has been on his own (by his own choice) since shortly after he turned 19. Prior to that he voluntarily paid room/board, and adhered to reasonable expectations of adult behaviour. Yes, I worry about him, yes, I"m ready to help him if he needs...but he's responsible. He hasn't asked for help, he actually gets pissed when I take him extras like groceries that I buy for him. (And, he's 6'4", a big teddy bear...but size doesn't matter)

4 Comments

View replies by

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/26/2014

13,264

21

2015

If he did not actually agree to the conditions, he should have been told to move out then, rather than allowing him to stay and continuing to enable his behaviour.

Put him on notice. IN WRITING. Tell him that, if he does not agree to the terms & conditions of the notice, he can be out in 48 hours. Tell him if he does agree to the terms, and signs the notice, he will be expected to abide by ALL conditions set, and to be out by the predetermined date. Let him know that if he does not abide after agreeing, you will have him removed from the residence.

Of course he thinks its a free ride. You've done nothing to follow up with your original requests of him, and done nothing to enforce what you're asking.

Krisblegen - posted on 09/25/2014

3

0

1

Thanks. It's hard as Im acting in both father and mother role. His bio dad is Belgian and has not been heard from leaving me to raise our 2 kids alone when they were 2 and 5. My current husband of 11 years is his main father role model but we always felt it's best for the bio parent to be the one to present our rules. My 19 year old son didn't ever agree with any of our rules or payments but I took his living at home to mean he agreed. I said there would be consequences but how to kick them out is not something I know how to do. I can give notice but how do I follow through....how do they know you mean it? I asked for the house key back so I know when he comes in and out but have yet to get that. He ignores my small requests lately. How do I make an adult/kid follow the rules. I'd like to start small rather than give 2 months and call police to evict him. I fear my husband jumping in as it could get ugly and I don't want to ruin that relationship. Having 6 kids has been very hard but my 4 step kids have a mother they run to which is good that we aren't having to deal with them during the rougher adult teen years. And its nice knowing they have the safety net but also bad as they don't grow up when they have mommy to fall on. This is new to us.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms