IVF or Sperm Donor?

Ashley - posted on 12/30/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My husband and I are ready to have a child of our own. I have a wonderful 11 year old step-son from my Husbands first marriage. The first marriage was not meant to be and he hastily got a vasectomy because he didn't want to have any more kids, "with her." They were headed for divorce, but in a last ditch effort to save the marriage he had a reversal, because she really wanted a baby girl. The reversal didn't work and they got a divorce. He always told me he wanted a child with me and would do whatever it took. I knew marrying him that having a baby would be really challenging, but I think I just told myself I would deal with it later. Well it is now "later" and we have spoken to a few fertility clinics and I am just so deflated. One of the best options for us is IVF, where they go in a get his sperm with a needle. I knew it was expensive, but come on! it is like putting a down payment on a house, plus an additional 6k to get his sperm. Both places spoke very highly of a donor, a MUCH CHEEPER option. My husband is open to either...just want to know if anyone has had to make this decision before? any advice? not sure how I feel. Would love to hear some first hand experience.

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I haven't had to make this choice but I think it comes down more to do you want HIS kid or to just experience pregnancy and raise a wonderful child together. Both are wonderful and fulfilling but it would come down to how you feel on the genetic material if he is open to both.

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Lynn - posted on 02/19/2014

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You might be able to get the vasectomy reversed. It is actually cheaper than IVF and would be genetically "his" child, plus would allow unlimited cost free additional attempts to have a child once it is completed.

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