Jealous Of HIs Baby Mama

Taylor - posted on 02/25/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




hi. I'm 18 years old. me and my boyfriend have been together for about 2 years on and off. when we first met everything was good then I find out 3 months later he just had a baby. I didn't know anything about the child or the mother. I asked him does he have any and he told me no. okay so anyways he broke up with me to be with her and his child. it was understandable . didn't make a big deal. well I ended up pregnant right after that and thought it was his, but come the find out it wasn't. I was happy but also upset cause I wanted him back. but after I had my son in Dec me and my boyfriend had gotten back together. now during my pregnancy he was there most of the time. but now we are together and he lives with me since about march of 2013. him and his baby mama always talk about stuff. never about the child. I ask her all the time does she has feelings for him and of course she says no and he says the same thing as well. well I go through his phone and its a different story. I really love this man and has been there since day one of my son being born. his baby mama has a bf and he hates that and me knowing that he hates it makes me think he still has feelings for her. I don't know what to do cause all she does is use him for money to spend n herself and he's giving away money for own bills and etc. I know now that he doesn't love her like he use to but I think there is still something there and I know she will say anything to get money out of him. what am I supposed to do. I've already confronted her about it and talked to him about it but he doesn't see it that way. he sees it as he taking care of his child but the money he gives is not being used on the child. I know me and him have a future but she's holding him back because she says she will not let him see his daughter if me and him continue to be together. but he doesn't want to leave me cause we plan on getting married this year. yeah im jealous cause she HAS MORE CONTROL OVER HIM THEN I DO. he's my man.


Jodi - posted on 02/25/2014




Uh, this is a human being we are talking about, isn't it? An adult one? Why should EITHER of you think you have "control" over him? He's not a puppy.

With regard to the money, does he pay child support? if he doesn't, then who is financially supporting the child's needs if the mother is spending the money he gives her on herself? I'm just curious.

And what are you doing going through his phone?

Here's the thing. He has a baby with another woman. They have to raise that child together for 18 years. They have to talk. They WILL have discussions together. He WILL have to give her money. If you don't like the current arrangements, then encourage him to have custody and visitation orders and child support properly sorted out (this should be done anyway because then she has no legal right to withhold visitation). You clearly don't trust him, maybe you should tell him that.

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