Jealous that my husband almost / might have a baby with his ex

Stephanie - posted on 09/13/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Hi all,

I married my husband 4 months ago and we are already expecting. We both wanted a family and a baby really bad after several failed relationships.
I found out by asking and digging that he got his ex pregnant (she was somewhat crazy and this happened before me) and after a breakup she decided to abort, but he never got proof she did and they both moved out to different states and never talked again. It was a very bad breakup.
Now, I have these weird feelings that my baby will never be important because he already got somebody else pregnant before, and jealous of his past.
As horrible as it sounds, it even made me think of abortion myself out of jealousy.

Please give me some advise :) Thank you

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Dove - posted on 09/15/2016

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Every baby is special and if you would honestly think for one second about killing your baby JUST because he/she won't be your husband's first.... you need some serious counseling before this child is born.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/13/2016

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Be ready for blunt: GROW UP!

You BOTH will always have baggage from old relationships, since you both have past experience!

Maybe you should look into counseling. Seriously, for you to say you were thinking of aborting yourself, out of jealousy....indicates that you are not ready for this.

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AbbiJoy - posted on 09/15/2016

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My husband already had kids when we met so when we were pregnant with our baby I felt like it wasn't going to be as special or as important because it wasn't a new experience for him like it was for me. I let my husband know how I felt and he assured me that it was going to be okay. He said, "what we have isn't even the same as what I had with my ex so it will be new for me too." He came to all my appointments where as with his prior experience that wasn't the case. Have you spoke with your husband about how you are feeling? Your baby will always be very important. No worries. I love babies so much. God's precious gifts. May all be well with you. Keep us posted and know we are here for you. Take care!

Michelle - posted on 09/14/2016

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I agree with the other ladies.
I'm sure you have had partners before your husband. Do you think your husband would be like this if the roles were reversed? Of course not, it's not rational at all.
How long have you been with him, not just married?
I also suggest getting counseling, you have some big issues to work through.

Jodi - posted on 09/14/2016

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OMG, really? How old are you? To consider abortion because this won't be the first time your husband got someone pregnant? Isn't that a touch extreme (or maybe a lot)?

When you marry someone who has had previous relationships, there was a life before you. If you are going to choose for that life before you to take away what you have together, then you need counselling.

Sarah - posted on 09/13/2016

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I think you might need some counseling. Sounds like there are more layers to this issue, might also be why you married and started a family fast.

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