Jealousy of another mom.

[deleted account] ( 9 moms have responded )

I have a friend who just had her 1st daughter about a month or so after I had my 5th baby, daughter number 4. I feel like I'm always competing with her. Well actually I am. I find myself kinda doing the whole, my baby is gonna do it first kinda thing. It seems as though she likes nothing I post about my daughter, yet I love everything hers does. Or she'll say something like, already? (Her eating solids at 4 months ) So she'll post a video about it. I think babies are amazing, that's why I have 5 lol I'm just trying to figure out how I get around this feeling towards her and focus on my happiness about what my kids do. Any suggestions or support is welcome.

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Melissa - posted on 07/07/2015

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It is hard not to compare yourself to other moms, but I encourage you to focus on your own family and be content with where you are. Sometimes taking a break from social media for a week or two does the trick for me. What you see on those sites is only what others want to portray. Are you a part of any mom groups locally where you can just be yourself and chat about the challenges of motherhood?

mommato2lilmonkeys

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/08/2015

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It must be a new thing. I compared milestones when my kids were little but it wasn't a competition. As far as the example given (op has hers on solids early) ...I'd have probably commented on that being a bit early imo

Jodi - posted on 07/08/2015

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That's interesting Melissa. It has not been my experience, in my 18 years of parenting, that MOST mothers have jealousy issues. Some, yes, but not most, not even close. Maybe it is a new thing.

Melissa - posted on 07/08/2015

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Sorry you took it that way. Thanks for being more specific. I agree that most moms have jealousy issues. My point is just that you really don't know what else everyone else is dealing with. I used to have a friend that always seemed to compare our babies and where they were at. I slowly let our relationship go because it brought me down and made me doubt my mothering skills. Just keep positive friends in your life who bring you up and who you can laugh with about this crazy journey of motherhood. It's a beautiful mess lol!

mommatol2ilmonkeys

Jodi - posted on 07/07/2015

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No-one was suggesting you were spending all day on the computer, but to want people on social media to be hanging on who likes your posts is ridiculous. I hardly EVER like people's posts. Not because I don't like them, but half the time I don't have time to even read them or see them in my newsfeed. I guess I am simply saying that you shouldn't base your happiness or self-esteem as a parent on her response to your social media.

[deleted account]

Melissa James, thank you for your help. I guess when u posy something u should be really specific. The negative attitude has already made me want to delete myself from here. It's like no woman has EVER felt jealousy. I don't spend all day online. During the week is hard because I homeschool. My oldest is 19 so he doesn't live at home so I just have my 4 daughters. 6, 4, 2, and 6 months. I guess I should have been more specific. Anyway, I was just looking for supportive words and not judgment. Thanks for that.

[deleted account]

Ok let me just make it clear that I don't spend hours and hours at a time on the computer. I'm a stay at home mom and I homeschool so social media is NOT the only thing in my life. Thanks for the suggestions.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/07/2015

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Time to get off the computer and raise your kids, so that you CAN focus on them.
Seriously. You have 5 kids, she's got one, and you are expecting her to fawn over your every post? Get a grip. Get back to reality.

Jodi - posted on 07/07/2015

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Suggestion? Stop making it a competition. Why do you really feel the need for her to "like" your posts? If you feel like you are competing with her, that's on you. Honestly, if you are basing all of your feelings over liking or not liking on social media, then you really need to back away from your computer.

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