Job!!

Annmarie - posted on 08/21/2014 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My son just turns 20. The situation with my son is, he doesn't want to get a 5 to 8 job. He wanted a job where he can go to whenever he needs money. When he gets paid, which is not enough, he would buy weeds, and hang out with friends until it's finish. Then he would asked me is mom, is sister, and others for money. My son drops out of college, and I solve the problem and get him back in, and he dropped out again. He is lazy, and only want quick money. He doesn't want to work. My son major is video production, but he is going into the wrong direction in succeeding, and I don't know what to do. He moved out, and live with a woman 2 times is age, but return because I heard that she is tired of supporting him. Now he is here giving me a hard time because, now I am stress just seeing him in my house, and he is not trying to change. All families, and friends spoke with him, but he is so stubborn. We all suggested other career he could start so he could put himself together, so he could accomplish is goal in what he really wanted. Please help, any suggestion is helpfully. Now I am getting very uncomfortable with him here because he has a short temper, especially when trying to suggest the right thing I have 2 other children, who are really on their games. My oldest son is in the police force, and married. My daughter the 2nd child is an Ex-ray Tech, and working. Also, she is supporting herself through college. So the youngest one is giving me a hard time. I tried to reach out so many times, but have not succeeded. All I wanted for my son is the best.

9 Comments

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Michelle - posted on 08/22/2014

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Stay strong. If he realizes that he won't be getting any help from you then he will (hopefully) figure out he needs to get a job and support himself or find someone who is willing to support him.

Annmarie - posted on 08/21/2014

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I am putting my foot down definitely this time. He asked for money, and I didn't give in.

Dove - posted on 08/21/2014

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Lay down the law now! My brother is twice his age and still milking my mom for money. He HAS a job, but has lived beyond his means for so long that I don't think he knows how to survive on his own anymore....

Ev - posted on 08/21/2014

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And as I read this and the response posts, ladies, I wish after all this time of me, a good family friend, my parents and a few others telling my sister to let her daughter who is almost 21 to be allowed to find out the hard way of doing things; my sister still jumps when my niece calls. My sis buys her phone cards to keep in touch, goes and gets her every weekend for one reason or another and all my niece's wants and desires, buys her things on those weekends, takes her to eat out, takes her to movies, takes her to concerts, and just basically jumps when she calls. There have been a few things my sis did not do but it did seem to sink in that was what needed done all the time. My sis complains all the time about it but when told to stop giving in to her daughter; she still does so anyhow. And to top it off, my niece has a 5 month old baby too. She lives with the BF's family and does not work nor expects she has to work. Her BF works sometimes but not all the time. He lives off his folks too with my niece. They are both computer and cell phone junkies. My niece seems to think that the world still revolves around her and expects everyone to act accordingly. Its running my sister into the ground and no amount of telling her to cut those apron strings is helping.

Michelle - posted on 08/21/2014

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I agree with the other ladies. He's 20 so it's time he learned the hard way that things won't just get handed to him. If he needs a bus fare to get to a job interview then loan him just the bus fare, not any extra. Let him know what the house rules are and he can't live by them then he needs to find his own place.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/21/2014

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There is no law that says you MUST give him money if he won't keep a job.

My son just quit his job last night. He's 20. He's been living on his own for over a year, and he came to me last night with a loan request. He'd outlined his needs, and his ability to repay, and asked. I've OFFERED many times to help him out in a pinch, and he will not accept. As a matter of fact, he came to my office first thing this morning to get his job applications going.

You can do this, you just have to put your foot down. Good luck!

Annmarie - posted on 08/21/2014

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Right now he isn't working. He kept coming up with these dead end jobs, where he gave out post cards that get paid with commission. And I must give him money to get to work. This is what he dose all the time. I put my foot down, and I don't give him money. He has to figure that one out by himself. Thanks for your comment.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/21/2014

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Tough love, momma. Set terms and conditions for his residing with you, charge room & board, and QUIT BAILING HIM OUT.

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