C. - posted on 12/14/2009 ( 70 moms have responded )
Ok, first of all I have been trying to get my husband to get a joint bank account for us and then each of us should have our own small savings account. I really don't see a problem with that. He had kept saying that he would do it, but then he never would. He later confessed that he never intended on doing it b/c he thought I would "forget about it and stop asking him." How nice.. He also told me that he had lent out a couple hundred dollars (in total, not a couple hundred each person) to a couple of people and they never payed him back. That was when he was like 17 or 18, so he knows he isn't ever going to see that money. But his response to me was that he can't trust people with HIS money!!!!! Oh, and that he doesn't want someone else to MANAGE HIS finances!!!! I have NEVER given him a reason to NOT trust me with money. In fact, about a year before I even met my husband, my Grandfather passed away, leaving each Grandchild with an inheritance. I used almost every last penny on things that WE needed as a family b/c the Army wasn't giving us Command Sponsorship (as of right now, they owe us a little more than 12 months of back pay!!!) and Hawaii is pretty expensive, so we NEEDED money. But I used it for our family, I didn't keep it hidden away. I did have it in my personal account, but this was technically MY money since it was promised long before we met. It's not like I was making money after we got married and kept it from him.
My thing is, as a married couple, we should be SHARING our finances, not hiding them and not one giving the other an "allowance". He is the bread-winner currently, and there are times when the Allotment money he sends me every month just isn't enough, especially if I have to buy him things and send them to him (he's deployed).
I guess what I am asking is 1) How should I approach my husband about it when I do decide to discuss this? 2) Is asking your husband to have a joint bank account too much to ask? 3) Should I just give up the whole fight and have him keep giving me "allowances" until I go back to work??