Joint custody but so not have primary care solely for materialism *says so in court order*

Chelsea - posted on 04/05/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Has anyone or is anyone in a custody battle with someone who's family comes from a lot if family as yours does not! Where you have earned and reached every goal on your own by yourself where the other person has not!

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Jodi - posted on 04/05/2015

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Why are you complaining about joint custody? He IS the father, he has as much right as you do. Being a mother doesn't automatically entitle you to primary custody. These days, most places recognise joint custody, it is common. This isn't a father being dealt a better hand than you, this is equality in parenting. I am not understanding why this is an issue for you.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/06/2015

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So you're the non custodial parent. Sounds like you're getting just a small dose of what women put their ex's through on a daily basis.

You've been told that the only way to get things changed is to go through the courts...so that's what you're going to have to do.

Chelsea - posted on 04/05/2015

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What I mean is with him being primary he has the overall decision making granted to him. Meaning he gets to choose doctors schools (though I chose the school yrs before her starting) sports I know it doesn't sound like a lot but he is using this privilege as power and at school functions sporting events anywhere we go and were in the se place him and his family makes sure everyone knows they have the final say so and my daughter though on paper is supposed to stay with him when it's his time but she stays with his great aunt who is 70 and her and her husband both are in bad health yes they are good to her but he is not the one raising her when it's his time it is his family and the judge was made aware of this with 10 months of call logs from my cell phone provider every night at 9 o clock when she was supposed to be with him she was with his aunt. She shares a bedroom with her and her husband and his grandma lives there as we'll. what I'm trying to say is I'm being punished by not be able to guide my daughter is every aspect of life the way I would like to because he has the final say. He doesn't do doctors appointments right she had laser surgery that last about 10 seconds that is just a little zap to her tummy where she has a place that the doctors said is harmless unless it were to change and that insurance considers cosmetic and both treatments all of 20 seconds costed us $1500 a piece bc we split all expenses. When if he would have actually done his research asked the doctors questions an really expressed his concerns to the doctors and backed it up with the research that I have done it is very possible that insurance would have covered this procedure and we could have went ahead and gotten it taken off and we could have avoided the 3 or 4 days of soreness that she had after these 2 treatments avoided the outrageous bill that we have and ultimately it wouldn't be there anymore for anyone to express concern over. It is called a hemangioma and a lot of times typically harmless. But this is just one my many exames doctors and dentist wise. Yes I have the right to go but he didn't tell until the day of when it didn't leave me enough time telling my boss nor did it hardly give me a big enough window to make it there considering it is a specialist 2 hrs away. I have talked to law officers and there is nothing technically they can do unless we go back to court and we have been 4 times and it's a costly process I'm sure as you probably know with no legal aide at all for family law in my state. This is just a glimpse

Dove - posted on 04/05/2015

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Like Jodi mentions... you and the father having joint custody is NOT a 'punishment' to you... your child is just as much a part of her father as she is a part of you. Your CHILD has a right to an equal relationship w/ both of her parents... if that is the case, GOOD. You need to accept that your child deserves a father just as much as she deserves a mother. Many, many kids are not so lucky and have a dad (or a mom) that doesn't WANT to be involved.

Jodi - posted on 04/05/2015

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I'm struggling to understand your post. Are you saying you have joint custody but want primary custody?

Chelsea - posted on 04/05/2015

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I wasn't dealt the best hand in life whereas my child's father was dealt one of the better and I have taken all too many hits in court because of my family's mistakes that his family knows about and the judge has punished me for things they have done in their past when it comes to my daughter and mind you I live alone in the state I live in with my daughter and her father whom I share joint custody with and I have lived here by myself since I was 16 and pregnant when my mom moved out of the state.. I was young and very taken advantage of by this family not only physically by her father but mentally by him and his whole family as well. Can anyone please relate to me. I want someone to talk to as I keep fighting these battles on my own. I have no family support emotionally and never have financially but I have gotten my GED and a 2 yr college degree and pay for my daughter to go to a upscale Christian academy I am not trash I might have come from a lot of it but I'm not! Anyone out there? Can you relate? Words of wisdom? Anything would be appreciated.

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