Stephanie - posted on 05/12/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )
I have been dealing with joint custody for two years. I hate it. I know nothing about my children when they are with their father. For example, I found out my oldest broke his leg when I picked him up. I am not allowed to speak to my children when they are with him, even though I have a court order stating otherwise but nothing is done about it. I have tried my best to "enjoy" my free time and nothing can replace the constant worry I have when my children are not with me. Does this ever get any easier? I went to my doctor when I first separated, that's when the depression started, and I was given medication. Needless to say, I stopped taking it. I was not depressed while I was on the medication for the simple fact that I could not remember anything, not even a simple conversation. I don't want to wash away any memories with medication, drugs or even alcohol. I don't know what to do to crawl out of this hole i fall into after I drop them off. I have moved on relationship wise but I still feel I have this piece of me missing when I don't have them. It has been two years and I am wondering if this is normal or am I out of my mind? It just feels like I can not even commit to another person entirely because I am missing most of myself when they are not around. How do you deal with having your kids taken from you over and over again?