Joint custody with my two year old is really hard on me. What should I do?


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Mardi - posted on 02/01/2013




Embrace the time.

You have 16 more years of this in one way or another, so better to get used to it now and learn how to cope with time by yourself to be a better mom when your child is there.

You could take classes, join a group, take up a new hobby. Expand your interests and experences while you have the chance. Learn to appreciate the "me" time while you have it.
This may or may not last a long time, and alternatives may not be a liberating when the time comes, so make the most if it while you can.

This will be the first lesson you can teach your child, that life goes on even when they are not there, and its ok to have a healthy relationship with both parents who obviously love them enough to share.

Ariana - posted on 01/31/2013




It's hard because you miss your child or because the ex is difficult?

All I can say is it's ok for you to miss your child even if you know you're doing what's right for him. I would try to keep yourself busy with other things while he's away. Could you get an agreement with your ex to be able to call your child before bed at night (or some other time) and agree to let him call at that time also, so you don't miss him quite as much?

If it's because the ex is difficult try to get a mediator who can help you work out ways to get over conflicts and discipline consistently etc.

The main point is to realize you're doing the best you can and during the week he is gone take that time to recharge, organize your house etc. and maybe work on a hobbie or some other thing you're interested in. See about the phone calls, even a 5 minute phone call can be a big relief, I know I'd miss my kid if he was gone for days or a week. If you talk to your ex calmly and explain how you feel and offer for him to do the same he'd probably be ok with it.

Any more information on the exactly what you mean would be appreciated.

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