Judging others: Is it wrong or right?

[deleted account] ( 37 moms have responded )

Judging people means that you pass a value judgment on what others think or do or say, of which judgment implies making a decision whether something is right or wrong. Thus, when someone say that we should not judge others, they are in fact passing a value judgment (that judging people is wrong) and thus anyone who does so (judging other) is doing something that is wrong. Thus, those people who say that we shouldn't judge other are in fact doing exactly what they say they shouldn't do; judging that people who they perceive as judging others are wrong. Thus, this sentence is self-defeating. In fact, because this is so, those people who say that we shouldn't judge others are in fact hypocrites, because they practice the thing they condemned in others.



How do YOU feel about judging others?

Where would we be today if we didn't judge others?

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Sharon - posted on 02/07/2010

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HHmm so all of you who are against judgment PERIOD. Freely associate with drug addicts? People who smoke? Thieves? People who are morally corrupt?



I've seen a good many "christian" women here raising holy hell because someones' religious views goes against theirs. I've seen "christian" women spewing hatred and condemnation then go on to claim "but I don't judge" um WTF!?



I admit it. I pass judgement all the time. I don't allow people who do drugs in my home. I don't appreciate habitual liars. I don't like people who are two faced, they claim to be good christians and yet they start crap here on the internet and refuse to face the consequence of their actions. Don't tell me that you slap and pinch your child because you're irritated, then claim it isn't child abuse.



I judged this post too btw.

Michelle - posted on 02/06/2010

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I have been surprised and dismayed at how women judge other women - working vs. stay-at-home, parenting styles, etc...as if women don't receive enough judgment from others already.... Shouldn't moms be on the side of moms (except in the cases of abuse or neglect, of course)? I've had so many mom friends judge me for when I started solids, whether I breastfed, whether I let my baby cry herself to sleep. And yet I've made all of these decisions out of love and with the best of intentions. The assumption is always, "my parenting technique is right. Therefore, yours is wrong." Isn't there room to say, we might just both be right? I really think that unless one has had 19 kids already, none of us really know what we're doing. But we're all trying our hardest and making decisions out of LOVE. Can't moms respect that in one another, without being yet another source of hostility to new moms?

I don't know if this is what the author of this post meant by judgment, but that's what I heard, and what I've been feeling.

User - posted on 02/09/2010

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I feel that it is wrong to judge others, you don't know the entire story of their life or circumstances. Besides the only one who should judge you is God.

Leanne - posted on 02/06/2010

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To a certain point I believe that we SHOULD judge people.. We judge to see if someone is safe to be around, we judge someone to see if their interesting and thus a good friend for you.. etc..

However, I do not believe that a person should be judged on religion, race, gender.. etc. These things make no difference to me.



If there wasn't some level of people judging eachother I think there would be a lot more hurt happen.. What I meen by this is.. If we didn't judge a person to see if they were safe to be around even though their actions said they were and we allowed them to be around us and our children, bad things could happen and the children (or others) could be seriously hurt.



Your post made my head spin a bit. :D haha

[deleted account]

To judge something means to have an opinion. I'll take people having an opinion about things over apathy any day.

The irony? Asking the question of whether or not we should "judge" is forcing us to judge... aka have an opinion.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

37 Comments

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Judith - posted on 01/18/2013

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I realise that the original post was a lonnng time ago but wanted to add that i've noticed people take offence at being judged with negative comments but they never say "Don't judge me" when it's a positive such as a compliment or 'well done'.

[deleted account]

Sabrina.. did you read the whole thread... just a question... bc if you did then youd know that you had just made a judgement and in your opinion its wrong to make those... so you just contradicted yourself... and youre not making sense

Savella - posted on 02/08/2010

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Both right and wrong depending on the motive for which you are judging the person. To do so in a way that says you are better than that person is not right. To do so knowing that the same result or consequence may be the same for you, is alright. Always judge yourself first and consider how you would feel about someone judging you for a mistake you made, we all make them. All have sinned.

Billie - posted on 02/08/2010

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I don't feel like a hypocrite. I try to live my life by the Word of God. We are not to judge others least we be judged. We are suppose to live our lives by loving and caring for each other. Just because we disagree with how someone else's actions doesn't mean we have to judge them but does mean we should pray for them. We are all children of God, and we do not know how God is working in this person's life to mold them. God is still working on all of us and I certainly do not wish to judge God's work in progress. Prayer does wonders.

Stephanie - posted on 02/08/2010

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everyone judge's everyone..even those that say they dont...posting on these forums is asking to be judged and the people who reply are judging you...

Blackwood - posted on 02/08/2010

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I think we ALL judge others, it's what you do with those judgements. Your thoughts might not be right for the situation. I strongly feel that if we all had alittle more compassion for others, this world would be a better place. It also depends on if the situation is hurting someone on purpose. I'm sorry but I dont' understand someone that can hurt someone/something else and see no harm in it.

Sharon - posted on 02/08/2010

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I don't think we should judge others, but we can judge their actions. Thats the difference. We don;t know why people do what they do, but we can judge what they do without judgeing them as a person.

Melissa - posted on 02/07/2010

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Hi Amber, I understand what you are trying to say and its an interesting concept. I believe making judgements is a survival mechanism for the human race - we need to be able to perceive right from wrong otherwise we wouldnt be able to protect ourselves from perceived dangerous situations/people etc I dont agree with a lot of the "judgements/opinions" made on this forum but I do understand everyone comes to a certain conclusion based on their life experience and because I havent walked in their shoes and experienced life the way they have I can never expect to understand why their view on life is so different from mine. Wow im really digging deep here lol

Katherine - posted on 02/07/2010

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Unless your not human, judgment is an automatic response. Everyone says Oh I would NEVER, and I ALWAYS. Really??? Even I can admit that sometimes my first response is 'What is wrong with that parent?" or I would NEVER let my kid do that. All day long we judge others.

Amanda - posted on 02/07/2010

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Its really not ok to judge someone but human nature is to judge someone.... If a person is addicted to a drug that person IS a drug addict that is not a judgement rather a statement of truth..... say you read my post and decide wow shes a b*tch you've never met me know nothing about me but already you dont like me... when in reality i am probably the nicest person you could know will go out of my way to help a friend in a heartbeat... i do not associate with drug users not because i think they are bad people but because they headed down a path i chose to avoid (thank god) i avoid liars because i am truthful (well for the most part lol i would never tella lie that would harm someone) a liar is a liar and a drug addict is a drug addict statements not judgements whether judging someone is right or wrong everyone does it

Rikki - posted on 02/07/2010

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we are all our own ppl and at some time have to judge life itself for if we dont make our own judgments on life we would all be rather boring ppl who all agreed on the same things i think its all about who you are and how you want to live your life and no we dont all have to agree on the same things but yes we shouldnt put others down for the choises they make in life or make then feel bad if they dont do it the way we do :)

Keisha - posted on 02/06/2010

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LOL! Okay! I believe that we should not judge people but love them for who they are. We are all different and everyone has their own thoughts on how things should or shouldn't be. Only God judges, we are just here to love! So less judging and more loving! LOL!

Carolee - posted on 02/06/2010

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I do believe that judging people is not for me, therefore I do not enjoy when others do it to me. If I disagree with a decision, it is not that I have judged the person who made the decision to be "wrong", it's just that the decision that was made is something that I would not particularly approve of myself doing. This is what I base my advice on. I also understand that "advice" is basically a gathering of ideas before making a decision. I understand, as I hope others understand, that another person may not agree with the advice that was given and choose to go another route. This is fine by me.



There are certain situations that are legally "wrong" and, therefore, those people are prosecuted. I believe that most people know the "law of the land", and that there are consequences for breaking said laws. In those situations, it is usually clear on what is legally "wrong" or not... whether those bringing the charges against another person have sufficient evidence to prove such "wrongness" and a lot of times the degree of "wrongness" is what the courts are used for.



Basically, I judge my own actions. I do not agree with the actions some other people take, but I have no say over them just as they have no say over me. If somebody asks how I would do something different, I will tell them without the expectation that they will do what I would.

Kelsey - posted on 02/06/2010

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By assuming that when people say not to judge others it means to not judge a damn thing anyone ever says and does, your being judgmental yourself! LOL! Noone can possibly never judge others, or they would be mindless idiots! Yes, Im judging, but Im not a hipocrit for saying not to judge others, what people usually mean by saying that is not to judge peoples charactor without logical reasoning behind it. If you werent to judge a man for murder, and beleive it was wrong, you wouldnt be judging others in the way people mean when they are against judgment. If you were to assume a man was evil or crazy for his murder, without evidence, then you would be judging others in the way you are referring. The word missing from this statement is, "It is wrong to judge others UNFAIRLY".

[deleted account]

The bible speaks against JUDGING A PERSON'S HEART, NOT their actions. When people are convicted of crimes, they are essentially judged for them. It's not hypocritical unless you are blatantly doing and condoning in yourself what you are condemning in others. So if I tell you that, that lie you told your husband is wrong (just an example as I don't know you) it should be out of love for you, not to glorify me or revel in your mistake or sin.

Emily - posted on 02/06/2010

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Everyone makes judgements about nearly everything.. that is unavoidable. Doesn't mean that we should be disrespectful toward each other though.

It does irk me though when people cry they're being judged when really they're just mad someone disagrees with them.

[deleted account]

to deliberately choose something to argue against or pose an opinion on what is right and what is wrong ----- is judging another
(it's as stated before human nature or instinct) In which you must do to make it out alive.
and
to condemn the faults of others (--morally wrong--)
that is the "wrong" type of judging...where you shouldnt judge another.

I'm thinking you should be researching "taking things literally" before you question judging..but that just my opinion

Krista - posted on 02/06/2010

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Yeah, that post is a bit of a mind-f**k, but I get what you're saying.



As far as whether judging is wrong or right...well, it might be wrong, but it feels soooooooo right! Yeah, baby!



Seriously, though -- as far as this particular site goes, if someone parents differently from me but it's not hurting their kid any, then I'm not going to judge. Different does not automatically equal bad. However, if I think someone is doing damage to their kid, and they're unapologetic about it (such as in that fun thread a month ago when people were defending smoking while pregnant), then you bet your bippy I'm going to turn into Judgy McJudgepants. It's inane to say that we should NEVER judge.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/06/2010

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seriously, every one of us as judged another person at some point in our lives. i know that i have been judge on a number of occasions. this is a lame post.

Jane - posted on 02/06/2010

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well, it is not a whole lot you can do about lpassing judgement on people....it is such a natural instinct....i don however, belive you should pass judgement on someone as to say why are they like that, or why do they put up with that....etc...you never really know what someone else has been through and what it is like to live their life....therefore, you really cannot pass true judgement on their actions...also, it is a difference between rightous judgement and unrightous judgement....

Vivian - posted on 02/06/2010

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I personally don't judge anyone unless they give me a reason to judge. This is what I believe; "When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself." "When the choice is between being right or kind, always choose kind."

Peita - posted on 02/06/2010

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Did you start this post because you are bored? There is really no logic to what you are saying! I don't judge, I wait and make informed decisions! Are you saying that because I don't judge people then I am judgemental and am so because I think it is wrong to judge someone or something!! If you don't have facts about something then it is wrong to pass judgement, if you have facts then, like I said before, it is more of an informed decision/opinion than a judgement!!



I also agree with Leanne and Teresa, there are some circumstances that require you to make a judgement!!

[deleted account]

lol - I think you are right. Passing judgement is just part of human nature. Its HOW people pass judgement that can be offensive. You can judge one thing to be better than another (rather than the absolute of one being right and everything else being wrong) but still recognise that may not be how everyone sees or experiences that same thing. When people say that we shouldnt pass judgement I think they generally mean that you should recognise that your personal opinion is not absolute and that we should keep unconstructive/destructive judgemental thoughts to ourselves - and I agree.

[deleted account]

Ditto Dana. ;)

Everyone makes judgements about everything they see and hear every day. It's natural. I do see a big difference in saying something is wrong (judging) and saying someone is a horrible mother or they are going to hell for doing something (condemning).

I hope that made at least a little sense.

Dana - posted on 02/06/2010

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I shall judge this post, it's making my head spin round and round...

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