Just Got accepted for college, and now I'm pregnant. HELP!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Queen Of My - posted on 10/02/2013

103

2

19

First things first- do YOU want to have this baby or does your bf want you to have this baby? Are you trying to make him happy or do you truly want to be a mom? I don't want to stress you out more, but there is a high probability that you will be raising this baby on your own. Not always, but statistically, teen parents do not stay together and many, many boys don't hold up on thier end of parenting responsibilities. Worst case scenario, he leaves you and you are completely on your own with this baby - are you okay with that?
If you choose yes, then you need a solid plan. Take as much help as you can get from every single person willing but form a concrete plan that allows you to rely on yourself only if it come to that. You may need social assistance, I am sure you can find scholarships for young moms, learn about low income housing incase you overstay your welcome at your bf mom's house. Spend the whole pregnancy gathering information and baby stuff - diapers, diapers, diapers and more diapers (if you sign up for Huggies or Pampers you will get coupons in the mail and then they often go on sale which you can use your coupons on top of).
It is definately not impossible to go to school with a baby but EXTREMELY difficult! Be prepared and don't take a full load - or super early classes because you won't get much sleep. The key to success is preparation! Good luck! My thoughts are with you :)
As for your mom - you need to be honest and upfront. This decision will catapult you to adult status! You must act accordingly. Ask for her acceptance, guidance and support. Be honest with your feelings and give her time to come around. Bottom line though, you need support and positivity in your life and may have to take a step back from those who are holding you back.

Whitney - posted on 10/03/2013

21

3

2

Hi Queen of My Castle! I am loving the name btw! LOL! Thanks ssssoooo much! :D I really appreciate your advice and love.. :) I am going to study Mass Communication/Radio... I love media so that's why I chose it. I'll more than keep you posted-- his/her development and all- I'll even let you see pics of him/her... Thanks again!

Ev - posted on 10/02/2013

8,008

7

918

You are just going to have to sit down with her and tell her straight as it is. Do not beat around the topic. Tell her your thoughts. IF she does not want to listen then you will know when to stop I guess. Just be sure to let her know you understood her wishes for you from the beginning but things do happen and this baby is here for a reason.

14 Comments

View replies by

Queen Of My - posted on 10/03/2013

103

2

19

Good luck Whitney- you are going to be awesome! I think you are going to be very successful in your life! I can tell in just these few short posts that you are an smart and driven woman. The thing my mother in law always says to me is "Nothing worth having is easy". I couldn't agree more but I really feel like you can have it all - a baby, a career and a happy life! Just curious - what are you going to study? Keep in touch - I am sure you will have many questions along the way - as all new moms do - no matter what stage in life they are in! And btw -CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Whitney - posted on 10/03/2013

21

3

2

THANKS MOMS! :D I really appreciate all your advice! I'll keep you posted...

Cecilia - posted on 10/03/2013

1,380

16

425

If things so as planned then you'll be fine. It sounds like you have a support system in place and you're only real issue will be time management. That is something that comes with time and you'll learn how to be super mom with time.

Whitney - posted on 10/03/2013

21

3

2

Hi Cecelia! Thanks so very much! I am going to deliver in May or June, and classes start in September. His mum says I have time.. so I can do light or short classes so as to not stress myself out much, and do a part-time job. She is willing to look after him/her while I am at class. He is building a section to her home, so that we can live in. So my plan is to still go to college, and work maybe.. Live with him in his part of the house, and take care of my child at the same time. He is working so he can help with the financial and emotional part. He is also very supportive of me at the moment.

Whitney - posted on 10/03/2013

21

3

2

Hi Queen of My Castle! I do not want to abort my child. Both of us want the baby... It's just that he/she wasn't planned for. At all. It just happened at the wrong time- a time when I just got accepted for college... He is 20 and is working, and is super supportive. He wants the baby more than I do, but that doesn't mean I dont want it- I do. But I don't want to be struggling through college with a child. And by struggle I mean the sleepless nights, giving him/her special attention when I am suppose to be studying and preparing for classes.... and I am sso concerned about the emotional stress associated that is heightened because of lack of support from my maternal side of family. His family on the other hand is super supportive.

Cecilia - posted on 10/02/2013

1,380

16

425

I have to agree with everything Evelyn said. I personally went to college when pregnant and after. I was not 18 but I was in my 20's. It can be hard to juggle everything. Not impossible to do at all. Like Queen said come up with a plan. Colleges do have daycares if it not possible for the father or grandfather can not or will not watch the baby while you're in classes.

I also agree to just tell your mom. Tell her you plan on going to college still and that you understand it's going to be hard but you're willing to do it. Sometimes moms can surprise you. She might stick to her guns and say you can't live there. She might be willing to help you in every other way.

Whitney - posted on 10/02/2013

21

3

2

:) Thanks for your advice! :) We don't really get along, and she'll rant, rave, be soooo disappointed in me. Thing is, I had been molested for 3 years by my stepdad when I was 8-11, and she made him move out, but then, after that, our relationship kind of went sideways. It's up, down and all over the place. She wants me to go to college, so when I do tell her, she is going to go ballistic! She always warns that if any of her four daughters get preg. we cant live there with her.

My BF is working and is very supportive so far, because he wants the baby so bad... and is making arrangements for his addition to mum's house be done before December.

Oh, I'm Jamaican....

Ev - posted on 10/02/2013

8,008

7

918

I can understand you are scared, as I know another young lady who is just finding out she is expecting and she has no clue what to do. She is not in college but had gone to live with her BF and then got pregnant. Now her mother is not really into the idea of a grandchild either and she has had to move back home because the BF is not helping in any sense of the word.

Why won't your mom support you at least emotionally? And maybe help babysit too? Is there something going on between you two that has but a split in the relationship?

The best advice I can give you is to go ahead and go to school as planned the first semester at the least. Go seek a doctor now for the prenatal care. Go to get WIC for you so you can have the nutrition you need as in milk, eggs, veggies and other things they allow you to get. If you and the father are still together maybe get a place together and live there? If he is working and not going to school can he foot a good portion of the bills while you are in school and then after the baby comes until you can work something else out? When you do have the baby, you may need to work and maybe take a small class load so you can do all you need too. It is daunting when you first find out but it is doable. A lot of girls and young women do this everyday.

Whitney - posted on 10/02/2013

21

3

2

How do I support a child when I am in college full-time? I am suppose to start next fall, and I am preparing myself for applying for student loans, and my mother won't want me in her house, and his mom says I can't live there, but I can stay sometimes.. she on the other hand is very supportive (his mom), and says she will take care of him/her when I am at class. I am so scared. Everyone was expecting me to be the "creme de la creme" of my family, and now this.

He is working, and so am I. The problem is not money, it's just that I want some emotional support. This is the first time I am going to have a child. Did I mention? I am 18! Just 18! I am freaking out! How do I manage my little baby when I am in college? I don't want my child being raised by anyone else but me and their dad... but then, I want my college degree..

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms