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Alice - posted on 04/23/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My son was born missing fingers on both hands. There is nothing he can't do. It wasn't easy for us at the beginning but as each day goes by he makes us understand why he was born without fingers. He is so smart and active. He will turn 4 next month and recently he asked why his fingers are different from his classmates' I have never been so confused. Please I need help answering his question. Moms help!

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Alice - posted on 04/28/2014

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Thanks Amy. We are told it's due to ABS. At four it's hard to explain to him what ABS is. I have reinforced the things he can do with his hands which are a lot. So far I haven't noticed anything he can't do. He just does them differently. It's amazing to watch him do things. Thanks a lot for replying. It has helped.

Amy - posted on 04/23/2014

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Is there a name for his condition? You could perhaps start by telling him that everyone is born unique and his fingers are different because he was born with (insert name here)? Then reinforce some of the specific things he can do with his hands. Maybe even do those things together.

I'd keep it simple, factual, age appropriate, and positive. Having a name for it may help him explain it to playmates a little easier. They may be asking. It may also be a good opportunity to talk with him about how he feels about questions or reactions from others if that's happening.

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