Just need to VENT!

Jeanie - posted on 12/30/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




Just need to vent!! Tonight my 8 year old daughter will meet my former husband's new girlfriend. We've been divorced since June of this year, separated since 2010. For the most part, we've been 'model co-parents' and though our daughter does well in school, behavior wise, etc. she still harbors very deep emotions over wanting us back together and developed nervous tummy issues in the beginning. I've witnessed this too many times to name, have held her when she's cried or begged me to get my feelings back for her Daddy (she doesn't know to this day it was his decision). She is nervous about meeting this woman and I know the road ahead will be full of questions for me, the one she confides her emotions to, his attitude about it all is she is just fine with it...complacent, apathetic. Are there any Moms out there who've been through this & have any great words of wisdom p l e a s e?


Claire - posted on 12/30/2012




First off, hopefully she is only going along on the date? To a neutral location? If she was feeling this way I would ask that her father respect her and not force this meeting. He evidently is doing this for him and not thinking of her. Having said that, you need to be positive because you don't want to force her to split her feelings between the two of you nor do you want her to perceive one parent and as bad and the other good.
So, your daughter is only gone for a couple of hours or overnight? I realize this is a little late but this should not be an overnight visit knowing how she feels. She is being put in a very bad position. Also, if she has date nights with her dad that happened before this girlfriend he should only bring along the new friend if the daughter is comfortable with her tagging along with her and her father on their date night.
Sadly, it may take months if not years for her to feel comfortable and that is the goal. Please talk to your ex and make sure he understands all of this meeting stuff has to be done on her terms not his. And if this means the girlfriend stays away when his daughter is visiting him then he has to accommodate that in order to make her comfortable with all the changes that the adults in her life are forcing upon her.
I hope this help.s

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