Just wondering how young moms feel about how we get treated

Heather - posted on 06/01/2010 ( 71 moms have responded )

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hi, I was 19 when I had my first son and 22 when I had my second I'm just wondering how many other young moms out there feel about being crucified constantly cause of what the world thinks is a good age to be a mom. Please share your thoughts, opinions and stories

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Firebird - posted on 06/01/2010

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I was 19 when I had my daughter and ya know what? Nobody cared about my age. It wouldn't have bothered me if anyone did either. I grew out of caring what people think a long time before I had my kid. Honestly, I think in many cases, it's the young moms who are "crucifying" themselves. A lot of these threads contain posts by people who don't have anything said to them, but it's the supposed 'looks' that people give them. I think it's in their heads. I know a lot of young moms, several as young as 16 and no one gave them a sideways look or an unkind word. Get over it. People will always find a reason to criticize or judge. Seriously, who cares what other people think? All that matters is that YOU know that your kids are well cared for.

Fiona - posted on 06/04/2010

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Hi Heather - you're going to be rocking your 30's and living a great life with your teenage kids. You'll be young enough to relate to them and keep up with them and old enough to advise them wisely. You won't be fighting infertility and struggling through late nights and difficult pregnancies or dragging your tired body after toddlers. I am jealous of you and wish I was in my 20's having my kids! They may look at you funny now but you are biologically the correct age for having children - and you'll get the last laugh!!! Enjoy!

Sherylene - posted on 06/03/2010

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I met my first husband when I was 16, and married him 7 days later. 2 months later on my 17th birthday, I got pregnant...I was thrilled.
The rumors in my hometown that 'I had to get married"...etc went insane till I started pointing to a few key gossip mongers a little thing called MATH.
I held my head high, and laughed OUT LOUD at the stupidity of disparaging remarks, even taking some mouthy/nosy people to task. I enjoyed being pregnant, and even though she is 30 now, I adore my baby girl, and her baby girls etc etc etc...

Ryan - posted on 06/02/2010

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I know how you feel hon! I had just turned 19 when I had my son, my husband and I are thinking of having another one and I'm almost 21. I used to get looks all the time and while my family thought I was too young, Ben's family has been very supportive. I whole-heartily believe that as long as you make your children the most important thing in your life you are going to be a great mom no matter what age. The only thing I wish is that I had been more educated so I could provide better for my son. Other than that I wouldn't change a thing. Besides being a young mom can be a good thing; you have more energy to play with your kids and you will always be called the "hot mom" lol Good luck!

Charlie - posted on 06/01/2010

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Im afraid there will always be people judging you for one reason or another , regardless of age , color or parenting styles .

Mothers in general are being judged when we go back into the workforce for the simple fact we have kids , we will need more sick days , family emergencies , we might decide to have more babies and take maternity leave these are all things employers take into consideration although its not what they will tell you .

The only way to live happily is to stop caring what people think , stop wondering if that lady on the street is staring at you , dont take it to heart , just be a good mum and know what you are doing is good , honestly i was 22 when i first fell pregnant the first time and i had elderly ladies ask me if i was married , My response was "no i am not" ( but i have been with the father for 5 years now ) They were horrified all i could do was laugh at their looks , people who concern themselves with other peoples matters are nosy , shallow and judgmental and they are certainly not traits to be proud of , so hold your head up high , be confidant and positive and good things will come to you .

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My mother was 16 when she had me. She was married and by the time she was 22 she had my three younger brothers. Age doesn't matter when becoming a mother. The older you are you may make a few better choices but as far as loving your children age is not a factor. As long as you support your children, love them with all of your heart and use loving discipline to teach your children right from wrong, nothing else matters. My mom is an excellent mom. One great thing about being a young mother you will also be a young grandmother. You will be able to run and play with your grandkids. My mom is 42 and has 2 granddaughters. My daughter is 3 and my brothers daughter is 1. They both love her dearly and can't wait to go to Nannys to play.

Katie - posted on 06/06/2010

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I was also 19 when I had my daughter. I look like I am about 15 when i 'm really 21 and I get strange looks all the time. When we are out with her grandmother they think she is the mom and i'm the sister. It used to get to me, but I don't let it anymore. People do not know about my life and I am the best mom to my daughter. It doesn't matter what age you are as long as you love and take care of your children

Amanda - posted on 06/06/2010

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You just need to suck it up and deal with it when it happens. People will find any reason to look down upon you, it's up to you whether that reason has any merit or whether it affects you. I was 19 when I got married, 20 when I had my son, and 23 now about to have our second son. My family's biggest "compliment" to me is "Wow I still can't get over how much you have matured and grown up"... lol I was working from 16-19, got married a year after high school and NEVER got into major trouble beforehand(I was your typical smartass teenager of course but that's about it)... but yet somehow I was supposed to end up some crackwhore or something with 5 kids by like 4 different guys or something.. I donno.. I think it's funny, and sometimes it gets annoying, but just shrug it off, you know? If you are a young mom, you get slack for being young(especially if you aren't married) but you get just as much crap for being older, my Aunt had her first kid at 35 and was constantly having to explain herself to complete strangers, and they all felt like jerks when she told them she had been trying for damn near a decade... some people just need to talk and judge others, just be happy you aren't as miserable as they are, that you don't feel the need to go around making nasty comments to people you don't know :)

Gabrielle - posted on 06/06/2010

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I'm 19 and single with a 7 month old little boy. I was 18 when I had him. To most people having a child at my age is unbearable. I've had people stop me in the store just to ask if he was really my son, and when I said yes, they would give me a dirty look and just keep walking. I love my son, and I don't know what I would do without him. His father is gone, and doesn't want anything to do with him... But you know, it's all worth it. Yeah, people judge me all the time. But... I don't care.

Ashley - posted on 06/06/2010

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hello! i was only 16 when i got pregnant and 17 when i had my daughter! where im from teen pregnancy is very popular and we still get judged! there are days i just go off on those people. i am still with my daughters dad and we just bought a house and are getting married and people still look down on us. age does not define how good of a mother you are. but im 19 now, daughter will be 2 in aug, and i love her more then anything in the world and know God gave her to me for a reason!! just keep your head up and turn the other cheek cuz as long as you are doing all you can and your kids know you love them thats all that matters!!

Lissa - posted on 06/06/2010

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I was a mum for the first time at 17, thirteen years later I realise it was mostly the way I took the comments (because I thought everyone was looking down on me) that made it a problem. I was sure when someone was giving me advice that what they actually meant was you are doing it wrong. Many older mothers feel the same way because they think people are judging them for waiting too long, parents with only one child feeling they are being criticised for not giving their little one a sibling.
If you are happy and your kids are happy that's all that matters.

Cheryl - posted on 06/06/2010

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I think it would be good if some of us could come up wi some clever, not nasty, retorts to this kind of thing.. I remember one I heard about a mom who had identical twins, and people would ask the obvious, Oh are they identical twins?/ And she said, no they are identical strangers.. You are young and inexperienced yet and these comments are more hurting.. as you get older you will get a thicker skin, unfortunately a lot of older people think that they have to spew not just their advice but also their opinions and sometimes those get all tangled.. too bad people should think before they speak! I think all advice should be asked for and any other comments should only be positive and helpful ones!!

Cheryl - posted on 06/06/2010

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Whoever that person(s) is who is saying that to you I would say, well maybe in your case, that would be too young to have a baby, but not everyone is the same.... I was 29 when I had my first but not by choice; married at 24, it took me 4+ years to get pregnant.. and looking back, I have to say I would have had them younger than later, if I could, because I had my youth and energy to deal wi them and enjoy them.. the older you are the harder it is and definitely when they hit the teen years!! so in a lot of ways you are at an advantage! Just let it go you have to develop a thick skin.. I also had to deal with the,"so when are you going to have kids?" thing and I didn't feel, a lot of the time, that is was any of their business that I was trying and couldn't get pregnant! I said," well when the Lord gives me one!"
A good answer to those people who send you that "too young" message, "you know, I just love having my kids at this age, when I am young and have lots of energy to enjoy them. I can deal with all the work involved, and when they are teens I will still have good energy for that stage, too!" Just an idea!

Jen - posted on 06/06/2010

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i had my son wen i was 21 but its not problems frm strangers its comments frm like midwifes or once i was at a family party my bf family lots of them n one went how old are u he said 20 n then they went woo hoo u got a younger women n he went nah she olders n she went how old are you i went im 21 they all choked on there glasses of wine because they all thought i was 17. but im the one laughing now because her daughter whos 15 just had her own baby so. i think long as u are a good mom can afford to lokk after your child then it doesnt matter wht age u am i think a under 16 is not quite rite but its life these days. n if anyone does give me comments im like well i wont need botox wen im older will i my mum is 61 n she doesnt look a day over 50.

Jennifer - posted on 06/06/2010

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Just wanted to share my experience - I was a teenage mom, I was almost 18 when my daughter was born - what got to me the most was how complete strangers felt it was their business to tell me what they thought of me having a child. I looked younger than I was - so that didn't help. I look back now and have to laugh at the audacity some people have - but at the time it was rough I felt completely isolated.

Kayla - posted on 06/06/2010

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I think the world has forgotten that our grandparent's got married at 15 and had children by 16, you know being a good mother or father doesn't have and shouldn't have a age on it. As long as you are mature enough to care for and love a baby then you are a good parent and don't worry about the world thinks!

Crissy - posted on 06/06/2010

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There was a time when "the world" married us off at the age of 13 and had us having our first kids by the time we turned 14 so I say forget about what "the world" thinks. There are planned babies, which are the ones who are usually the older moms, and there are surprise babies, which are the ones born to us young moms. I celebrated my 21'st birthday 6 months pregnant with my first daughter (yay for apple juice in the champagne glass to make me feel special) LoL I had more advice than criticism but there were a few critics and to them I simply said "why do you care?" someone once told me I was ruining my entire life by starting so young and I should just give my baby up for adoption. my reply "and how would you know? you don't know me, you don't know my life, so how can you tell me that it's going to be ruined by giving life to a beautiful human being that is growing inside me" apperently they felt they had ruined theirs and I just felt bad for them that they felt that way. Because really, I felt like my life had finally started when I had my daughter.

User - posted on 06/06/2010

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hi i am a mommy of a soon to be 2 year old boy. i had just turned 18 when I was pregnant and had him at 19. The only unfair judgement i got was when i was pregnant. once my son was born I did and continue to do the best i can everyday no matter how hard and people see it. Im always praised for the great job i do as a mother and how amazing my son is. i love the compliments and i think being the age i am only made me that much better of a mom. Im young so i have enough energy to run around and play. im motivated to go to school and work to still spend money on myself to make me feel special. it feel great to have people recognize everything i do for my family on my own and how i wont be another statistic prego teen living with their mommy on welfare. " good " is your character and if you try your hardest then people will see and have " good " opinions of you : ) cant bother with spellcheck so im hoping it sounds right..haha

[deleted account]

I havn't had any bad comments or nastyness. I'm 19, 20 next week and got pregnant when I was 18. It was a planned pregnancy and we were already married so people knew it was going to happen. I think people assume I'm older than I am because we're married. My husband's 21 but looks about 25.

Elisabeth - posted on 06/05/2010

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I'm going to go against the grain here and say I'm proud to be a young mum! I have two and I'm 21, first at 19. I do get looks and I like it! haha...i do know what your talking about though but they are probably saying that because they may feel the same way but in reverse perhaps they feel the world veiws them as being to old to have children. I love being a young mum and when people see me and give me that look they just jealous because they can't understand how at my age I can have two wonderful children, a wonderful husband and how can I own my own car and house and all these nice things, they are just jealous. Enjoy being a single mum and remember that they are just envious of you.

Nikki - posted on 06/05/2010

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My son is turning 1 and Im turning 28. Although to many people I look like Im 16 and I live in an extremely snobby upperclass area where everyone believes they are entitled to make snide remarks. So i hear day in day out ppl telling me that he can't possibly be mine, or wow it must be sooo hard being a teen mom and how do i do it alone.... because ill be out w my son on a weekday afternoon, when my husband is at work....... I used to get really mad at people about how wrong they are but now I laugh it up.

When they say he cant possibly be mine... I respond no I stole him
When they ask how I do it alone... I say well would it be better if my hubby was a stay at home parent too??? I also snipe in and say because I can handle raising my child and not needing a nanny to watch him while I get my nails done( all you ever see is nannies around here and a majority of the time the moms who have nannies don't work in the first place
When they say that Im too young.... I say hmm should I have waited til 40 to start having babies , bc Im almost 30 and apparently thats not old enough is it

Its not like you turn a certain age and become supermom, all that matters is that you are caring for your child , people have nothing better to do than talk BS to make themselves feel better, just ignore them and know that you are an AMAZING mom and an AMAZING person who doesnt spend their days judging other people.

Heather - posted on 06/05/2010

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You bring up a great point Kathryn and to be honest with you those young moms do bother me and I do know a few I don't get how they can do that to the kids and their parents who have already raised their kid(s).

Kathryn - posted on 06/05/2010

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I don't think age matters as mcuh as maturity. I wouldn't want my sons to be young parents (I was 22 when my first was born). But I know I settled into motherhood quite nicely. What I have a problem with is young mothers who try to have their cake and eat it too by dumping their kids on the grandparents to raise or are not willing to sacrifice.

Amy - posted on 06/05/2010

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it feels good not to be prego tho....seein as how ive been pregnant pretty much since dec of 08...lol i only had like 6 weeks inbetween...lol now we r waitin 6-10 yrs nd then ill hav another one!!!

Jade - posted on 06/05/2010

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i was 19 when i had my daughter...i have never had people look at me funny or say anything about me being too young...i don't think 19 is that young (when it comes to having children) i had a friend who was 17 when she had her son and she never had any problems....but i could imagine that there are lots of people that judge. :-)

Amy - posted on 06/05/2010

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lol....yeah ppl do look at me wierd alot cuz i do look so young...i usually get guessed about 15 r 16....nd i am young im only 19 nd i have 2 kids....but i am a great mother nd i love my girls! i am also with the father of my children wich is a big help:)...eventhough alot of mothers do just as well on thier own. i was 18 when i had my first nd19 when i had my second...actually my second was born 1 week ago:) nd the job situation was horrible when i was pregnant with my second one nut now within this week of not being pregnant ive gotten a call back for almost every job app. i filled out!...its rediculous. its illegal to discriminate nd not giv u a job cuz ur pregnant....but they do, nd its imposible to prove that was the reason cuz its so easy for employers to just say they found someone more qualified for the job. its B.S. really.

Meagan - posted on 06/04/2010

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I am 19 and I have two kids. One just turned on May 23rd and the other is 6 weeks tommrow. Just today an older lady was holding a door for me and I had both kids and she looked at me and was like are they both yours, I was like yea, and she was all suprized and was like your younge, you must have your hands full!! and I find alot when I am at the mall with the kids I get dirty looks alot! I know for myself I have grown up soo much by haveing two kids by the time I was 19...but the way I look at it I am more mature and I dont really need to deal with all the drama and "Crap" other people my age go through. I love being a mom and honestly it is way better then being a teen out running around and getting in trouble I am glad my kids made me grow up and be more responsable, I like my life wayyy better this way!! I dont care what anyone thinks about me, its my life and I love it!!

Kyrsten Analiese - posted on 06/04/2010

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I get looked down on a lot because I'm 19 and just had my first. Most people just look at me different but sometimes I hear the whole, "babies having babies" comments and such. It irritates me because the way I see it, there are girls having babies at 15 who are just as good mothers as the ones having them at 30. And there are women who are 30 who are bad mothers too. I just try to do my best despite my age. I don't think any age is more/less qualified to have kids : )

Jessica - posted on 06/04/2010

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i had my daughter Lily when i was 19 and it doesnt help that i look younger. From the moment i found out i was pregnant i was over the moon and have been the best mother to her that i possibly can. I too have had many comments and looks when i was pregnant or out with my daughter.. the one that irratates me the most is when they ask you straight away if you are still with their father, although i have great satisfaction in telling them i have been with him 4 years and have never been happier. he is a great father and my daughter has such a great family around her.. i so agree that its actually better in away to have them young because then you have your older life to do what you want with a lovely family around you. Its not how old you are that makes you are good or bad mother its the person you are... there are just as many bad older mums than there is young mums.. xxx

Judi - posted on 06/04/2010

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Just as a side note here. It is illegal for employers to ask about your family situation. If you don't volunteer the information they won't have it. If you honestly think you missed out because you are a mom, there are people who handle those kinds of cases.

Sarah - posted on 06/04/2010

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like i said, it's not impossible for a young mother to be a good mother. and i commend all good mothers regardless of age. It's really about maturity, not age but lots of people don't gain maturity at a young age. Personally, I'm glad I waited to have kids, but that's me- as long as you're doing your job, good on ya!

Heather - posted on 06/04/2010

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Fiona, TY sooooo much u just made my day hun, Sarah thats fine that you feel that way but i'm tryin to find out why you(and others think and feel the same as you), yes those were the chocies your friends made and you didnt but again thats what im trying to figure out is just because some people see a few young girls haven babies and their lives not turning out perfect doesn't mean thats the case for all of us. Like I stated earlier I to own my own house and cars and everything my babies needed or could ever want, as for the whole daddy and married thing I'm with the father of both my kids and have been going on 7 years this month no were not married cause why fix something thats not broke. I don't feel like my life slowed down at all cause of my kids, instead of going to the bar every weekend I go to the park or to the zoo. My kids in no way slow me down. I love every min with my kids

Sarah - posted on 06/04/2010

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ok, i'm playing devil's advocate on this one. I think that age does in many cases play a role in how well a person takes care of their children and Themselves. Growing up, my best friend got preggo when she was 16, i did not. We are the same age, i have one child, one husband, own my home, college educated, etc. She has been married 3 times, has only one kid but has been preggo 2 other times, has a crappy job, no money, no education, and had to move back in with her parents at 28 yrs old. We were both A students in HS, just as smart as each other. I see how she missed out on so many opportunities because she chose to have a baby so young. When I see a pregnant teen that's what I think. I think of their life and how much harder it is going to be for them. How much harder they will have to work to get to the same place as me and how many life experiences they will miss out on because they have kids. My friends have told me so many times, "I love my child, but I wish I had waited to have him/her." I know that lots of young moms turn out fine and their children do too, I'm just saying the younger you are when you have your child, the higher the odds are stacked against you.

Dani - posted on 06/04/2010

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I fully understand why people look down on young parents, i was 15 when i had my son and geez did i get frowned upon, i didnt give a dam what people thought back then but now as i am older i can see why they thought that way, older people look at teenagers as children and probaly believe they should still be in school getting an education or living life to the fullest while they can and as for our peers crucifying us well i can see why that is as well, they think we're nuts giving up a life of freedom and having a baby and i dont think their on the same wave length as what we are when we become pregnant at a young age, all of a sudden we have these decisions and responsibilitys and instantly we've mentally aged i think. I dont think its their fault why they criticise, some people have been brought up to care and take you for who you are and some have been taught very differently, also some people are just very small minded and have nothing better to do than have a good old whinge!!.

Teresa - posted on 06/04/2010

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Girl, I so know how you feel! By the time I was 18, I was married with 3 kids!!! ( But, my oldest one is not mine, by birth anyway!) And also all 3 kids have the same daddy, something you don't see much anymore!! But we have been together for 11 years and are more in love now than ever! Young people can make it, you just have to put your head to it and do it! (And regardless of what people think, we're not on goverment benefits!!!) I have a full time job and due to unfortunate things, my husband was permanently disabled several years ago. But he stays home( amazing I know, lol), with the kids now(11, 10, and 8). He is wonderful! Anyways, nothing better than going into that school with my own children now, and I hold my head up HIGH! Cause all that trash talking(teachers, other parents), blew up in their face!! I do not feel that being a young mother has anything to do with what kind of parents we make! It's what is in our hearts, and doing what is right by our children! Ok, I have rambled enough! Hope this story makes you feel better, don't worry bout what other people think. Karma will come back on those that judge you! Trust me I know!!!

Nikki - posted on 06/03/2010

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I was 18 when I had my first, 21 when I had my second and 23 when I had my third. I hear all the time "You are crazy" but when we are 41 or 42 our kids will be grown. I am 31 now and cannot imagine having a toddler running around. I don't think I have the energy now. As long as you are a good mother I don't think it matters that you were young. You were an adult when you had both children.

Heather - posted on 06/03/2010

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Wow to all you amazing moms standing up for yourselfs and children I'm actually a lil surprised in the responds to this to be honest with u all but I like it lol. I would how ever like to once again express that I'm not saying I care what people think just that im tired of it cause yes they dont know my position in life just what the statistics tell them.

Vicky - posted on 06/03/2010

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the way i look at it young mums get crucified for having kids to young and older mums get crucified for having kids to old so really i think people should just do what feels right for them and not care what everybody else says i was a mum at 20 and again at 23 and that was right for me it may not be right for everyone else but so what let them live their own life :)

Jennifer - posted on 06/03/2010

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who cares what other people think? when is anyone ready to have a child? no matter what age...people will have their opinions, but the only opinion that matters in the one your child gives you when they become an adult. do the best you can...always listen to advice not meaning you have to take it. provide your child/children with the best foundation for "LIFE"! there's not correct way..every parent and every child are different...stay positive and stay strong & those who love you & your child/children will be there through it all, no matter what age!

Nicole - posted on 06/03/2010

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i say stuff what any one thinks as long as the baby is loved and taken care of no body has the right to say any thing i was just going on 18 and i was embarrased about being pregnant,but he is 10 now and a real good boy with real good morals so the world can kiss my @#$

*Lisa* - posted on 06/03/2010

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Some of my close friends had their first child at 13!! Very very young. We were just finished playing with dolls and suddenly she was having a baby. I couldn't think of better parents to their 2 boys. :)

Lyndsay - posted on 06/03/2010

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I feel just fine. I'm confident in my parenting abilities and random people in the public don't know me or my son or my situation so what they think has no bearing on me whatsoever. My son is super hyper, he has tons of energy and I don't try to stifle him every second of the day. For example, this morning we were at the optometrists for his first eye exam (hes almost 3). The initial test where they took pictures of his eyes, he was great! He sat still for the lady and did everything she asked, and then we were sent to the waiting room to wait for the doctor. We were the only people there, except for this other lady on the other end of the room who was looking at the glasses display. My son was playing with his cars, hopping around, etc. He wasn't being crazy but he wasn't sitting perfectly still and quiet, and this lady is GLARING at me! As if he was even really bugging her, 20 ft away from us. I just smiled at her, lol. I don't let him run completely wild but I know he can't sit still for too long and I want him to sit still for the doctor, so why shouldn't he be able to play while he's waiting? Sometimes older people just bug the hell out of me. Like I'm sorry you're getting old, but I'm young and my son is young and we still have energy and life in us.

Tisha - posted on 06/03/2010

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I was the same exact ages when I had both of my kids!!! I have never been treated badly becasue of being a young mom. Pretty much all of my friends were having kids the same time as me as well. I really don't think people care how old we are. I think they form their opinions about how they see us interact with our kids. For example, I know that I'm a good mom. I'm not perfect and I do make mistakes but my kids are loved and taken care of. My sister-in-law on the other hand is 6 years younger than me but she is having her kids at the same ages I had mine. She is not a very good mom. I think she tries and that she thinks she is but she's just not maternal like most of us are. It's like those instincts didn't kick in for her. Everyone in the family always says that she's not doing well with the kids becasue she was so young when she started having them. I point out to them that it has nothing to do with age. I was a year younger than her when I started having kids and my kids were never treated the way hers are! I worked in a daycare for a very long time. We had several teenage mothers there. (like 15 and 16 year olds) Most of them were better mom's than a lot of the moms that were in their 20's or 30's!!! I really don't think age is the issue although I do think that some people get judged for what age they started having kids. It's just never happened to me.

Nycole - posted on 06/03/2010

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i understand completely my mother in-law actually looked at me and told me that i was not a mom that i was more of a friend to my daughter but she doesn't see how i take care of her when she isn't here so yeah i understand you point everyone thought i wasn't going to be a good mom for my daughter so yeah

Jessica - posted on 06/02/2010

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I hate it because now 99% of the time if you aren't 25 you're automatically a whore.
I was 18 when I got pregnant and I've only ever slept with my husband.
So I get so annoyed when people said I was a whore or when people call younger girls whores just because they're pregnant.
Uneducated or just plain stupid maybe, but not a whore.
If you've slept with more guys then you can count then you're a whore.

Cristal - posted on 06/02/2010

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I was 19 when I had my first son and 25 when I had my second. People look at me when I was pregnant with my first son like I was a horrible person.
I have taken care of him and raised him very well. He is a good little boy. I now have a 4 month old and still when people see me in the store with 2 kids I get weird looks. Maybe its because I look really young but either way I don’t let it bother me I know my boys are very well taken care of.

Sharon - posted on 06/02/2010

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I don't see where anyone can judge when a woman should become a mom. I am an older mom who often wishes I had that extra edge of being younger to keep up with my elementary age children :) Honor yourself and stand tall as a young mother!

Jawaka - posted on 06/02/2010

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I was 20 when my first child was born, 22 with my twins, 23 with my baby girl, and 29 with my last son. Through all 4 pregnancies I looked to be anywhere from 14-16 yrs old. I got the worst stares and comments, and frankly who cares. No one knew that I already owned my first home and a car, no one knew that I had already been with my husband for 7 years before our daughter was born. Now I will admit that I have had issues with possible employers doubting my capabilities because of my young look but I always carry myself as a professional, wise beyond my appearance.
Now that I am slightly older, I look back on the early parenting years thankful that is has passed. Knowing that no matter what others thought of my situation, we have percevered.

Belinda - posted on 06/02/2010

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Hi i was 25 when i had my first, i am 38 not and onto my 4th. i dont really think age is a problem now, my cousin was 16 when she had her 1st, 23 now and her 2nd is on way.

Nicole - posted on 06/02/2010

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i was 17when i fell pregnant, 18 when i had my beautiful baby girl Teresa Annabelle. i feel as if i did get treated somewhat different to most other mothers, i.e walking around with a big pregnant belly and getting stares from older people. i even had one woman come up to me one day and say how dare i bring a child into this world when i am only a child myself, god will condemn me, blah blah blah. but i would only listen to what they had to say, so as not to be rude, thank them for their opinion and walk away. don't regret a thing!

Heather - posted on 06/01/2010

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very well said jeanne I couldn't agree more with you I think no matter the age we shouldn't be afraid to ask questions and learn new things or techniques I just feel that age makes it hard to be taken seriously.

Jeanne - posted on 06/01/2010

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As a once ' young' mother ( hhad my children at 19 and 21, I also found people felt and stated I was too young. Looking back, truly I was and personally, I do think being a little older and more settled in life is better. BUT, at the same time, how as young moms we handle ourselves and the confidence we exhibt (even if we have to fake it!) will help people show more respect. It is important to remember, regardless of our age, when we have children, no matter how much we have watched others, we need to be open to advice from others. It is up to us to listen, contemplate and then choose our response too it. There are many 'older' first time parents, but that doesn't mean they have common sense or special powers. It is all about educating ourselves and raising our children based on their personalities and needs, in a way that they can act like civilized human beings. I always say my boys turned out good by the grace of God!

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