Keeping my child's father away!

Angela - posted on 03/30/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




Hey everyone! So i've struggled with this for a long time and have tried to get advice from family and friends but because they know my daughter's father and don't like him, that's what they base their advice off of. My daughter is almost a year and a half old and her father does NOTHING for her, but somehow finds a way to blame me. He always wants me to go out of my way to let him see her just so he can act like he wants to be in her life, but doesn't want to put any work in. I'm sorry but i just dont think it's fair. Before my daughter was born I was already able to tell what kind of father he would be just from they way he treated me while I was pregnant. He was unsupportive and I did everything alone. Even after she was born he never made her a priority. Somehow he always managed to have new clothes, shoes, and is always hanging out with his friends but would never have anything for her. I never nag him or anything, but every now and then I would see if he planned on giving her anything in the near future. I finally got to the point where I just stopped reaching out to him and I don't keep him updated because she is clearly not on his list of priorites. I've never really just come out and said "you can't see her". Whenever he wants to visit I always allow because that's what my heart tells me to do, but the fact that he does nothing for her really bothers me, and I'm running out of patience with him. Any advice?


Dove - posted on 03/30/2015




Get a court order for custody, visitation, and child support... and then leave the ball in his court on whether or not he chooses to act on his allowed visitations. You are right to leave the door open to allow him to know his child... because your child has a right to a father, but it isn't your responsibility to 'chase him down' and MAKE him be involved. Hang in there!

Raye - posted on 03/30/2015




I agree with Dove, you need to get it settled in court. That might save you a lot of trouble down the road, if he were to make up lies saying you kept the child from him, or if he just took off with the child. It's not your job to try to make him want to be involved. He should always be allowed some kind of visitation. But you also need some kind of protection in place so he can't just make up the rules as he goes.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/30/2015




What do your court orders say? If you don't have any, get some


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