Kicked 19 year old son out

Nancy - posted on 12/28/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




My 19 year old son has not been home since April 2012. When he was in high school he started making wrong choices. He was arrested, kicked out, returned home only to not follow the rules. It gets harder and harder not hearing from him or seeing him. He is in the same town. I can't look at his baby pictures because I think what did we do wrong. He did come over for Christmas, but i think it was because I bought him shoes and a sweatshirt. He only calls when he wants something. He came over the day after Christmas to talk about coming home. He does not have a job, doesn't go to school, basicallly does nothing. We let him know that he needs to volunteer to be productive and it could also lead to a job. He refused and was told he hasn't changed. He stormed off and we havent heard from him. He looks awful. We reach out to him over and over. I feel as though I have lost him forever and worry about his health and well being. I miss my son.


Dove - posted on 12/29/2012




You are doing all you can. You offered him a place to live as long as he is willing to try and help himself... and he refused.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hopefully he will find his way. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to go through this as my oldest is only 11 right now. Prayers for you and him! ♥

Ev - posted on 12/28/2012




Its called tough love. Sometimes we as the parents have to step back and let the kids figure things out on their own when they get to be adults. Sometimes they see the light and others they do not. Hopefully he will wake up and see what his choices have given him in return and he will change his ways. Even my own daughter who is in her 20's now has had to make some choices and live with the outcomes. My son is still in high school and I am going to have to go through it with him too. It takes time and it hurts when it does not go how we woule like to see it go, but if you give it time and let him work things out in his mind and in his life; one day he is going to come home and it will hopefully be for the better.

Vanessa - posted on 12/28/2012




He needs to work this out himself. As long as you make it known that your door is always open to him - he just needs to follow a few simple rules to show you that he is as committed to helping himself as you are committed to helping him. You're being a good mum - it's not easy. Prayers he comes home xo


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User - posted on 02/12/2013




I have a 19 year old who has been kicked out several times. This last time we did it for good. We love him and miss him. We do still pay for his cell so we can track him. His cell does not indicate to him we are tracking. It is the only way I can stay sane about the whole situation. He has been out now for two months and the only time he talks to us is when he wants something, sound familiar. But I am praying and hoping that when his frontal lobe develops a light will come on and he will come around. He just wants to hang with friends and have fun. He doesn't work or go to school infact he dropped out of high school. Saying that is what we want for him not what he wants for himself. So he got food stamps (thanks to his friends teaching him about that help, but at least he is eating) and he couch surfs with his friends. What a life.. we told him if he went to work 36 hours a week he could come back, he is not even trying to work. I don't know what else we can do with him.

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