Kid that Don't Care about school grades what do you do?

Billie Jo - posted on 06/27/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )

7

6

0

My 12 yr old son has that don't care thing going on about his grades at school. He is moving into Jr High this coming school yr.. Does any one have any ideas how I can nip this in the butt before school starts again? I have tried the scare thing and a few others but nothing seems to get to him.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jodi - posted on 06/28/2011

3,517

36

3906

Billie Jo, my son pulled that one on me. He was then banned from TV and games over the weekend as well. AND he was banned from going to sports training. Instead, all he had available to him, if he left his homework at school, was reading a book. He realised this idea wasn't so great.

9 Comments

View replies by

Sal - posted on 06/29/2011

1,816

16

34

my son just got a 0 because he didn;t hand in a major work, and just shrugged it off, he had it done, forgot it, he can call because he forgot his lunch but not if he forgets his major assessment, he has a part time job in a petrol station, and hates it, i keep telling him to get used to it because thats all he can hpe for unless he gets motivated, i just can't get through to him, luckily he is young so has a year u[ his sleeve if he really messes up in yr 12, but i just don;t know where to go next....even his driving lessons are on hold til things get better, (he'll get his Ls in feb) he just doesn;t care,

Billie Jo - posted on 06/29/2011

7

6

0

Sal- Same with my son, he just does not put the effert into his school work and can't remeber to hand things in all the time. We have told that school trips are earned and that if you don't earn it you don't go, so he earns it then goes back to the same stuff.

Billie Jo - posted on 06/29/2011

7

6

0

Bobbie- No he is not failing but fact is if he has the dont care add. he will have in Jr and he will not have grade he needs to get into the college he says he wants to got to, USC or MIC. The fack is that I know he can do better and he just doesn't care if he does or not. I know that it is summer and he should be a kid for the summer but I am asking for when school starts again.

Sal - posted on 06/28/2011

1,816

16

34

i so know how you are feeling, my son is in yr 10 and i have never got a report that said he tries hard in class, he is smart, popular, never in trouble, funny, teachers love him, he just doen;t do any work, i have tried everything, and i went to parent teach night last night and it was just the same as always, they start telling me how much they like him, how he is all the stuff i listed abovr, how his is really smart, they just can't get him to focus and compltet work.......all i can suggest is get used to it, and remember grades aren't everything, it is so frustrating but the kid just won;t care because you do.......at the moment he wants to go on a school trip in december that is going to cost us over $500 dollars and i am refusing to pay for it until he makes some improvments (i have talked to the organiser and she is ok to put him on the list but not take the payment until late for this very reason), and just hope that he gets his but in to gear.....

Bobbie - posted on 06/28/2011

500

9

169

Why is it of such great concern for you at this time? Is there pressure due to "fear that he will fail"? Or is he already failing?
I was a little confused by your post because it seems you are fearing that he won't care. It may be an intentional remark to say, "please stop asking me about school, it is summer time, I am a child, I live in the moment!"

Billie Jo - posted on 06/28/2011

7

6

0

Thankyou but I have tried these things also he just says so. He understands that home has to be done before games and TV so he simply don't bring any home. We leave him to his homework when he brings it home to do it for himself and he put what ever he wants down and we try to tell him that he needs to redo it if its wrong or not quite right and he just gets upset and them doesn't care. And we tell him that all he has to do is fix it because he will get it marked wrong. Not like we are yelling at him and talking down to him about it.

Jodi - posted on 06/27/2011

3,517

36

3906

What Neva said. I am going through this exact thing with my 13 (almost 14) year old at the moment. It has been a battle for a while now, but what I am doing seems to have started to get his attention, and he is making much greater effort now.

I think a part of the problem is that right now, his only goal is that he has to do well at school, but he really has no goal to tell him why. I am pretty sure that once my son makes some decisions as to what he wants to do when he is older, and some sort of future aspiration, he will really focus more on achieving that, but right now, he is simply working for good grades, and if you really think about it, to a child who is yet to decide on a future career, that probably seems a bit pointless. So I also engage in discussion with him about his future, his strengths and weaknesses, and help guide him in starting to think about what it is he wants to achieve long term. He hasn't decided yet (and really, he IS only very young), but he has started to realise there ARE some careers out there that he would probably enjoy and use his strengths, but that he needs to study to get there, so he is a little more motivated.

Neva - posted on 06/27/2011

269

11

80

you can try tying his school performance to activities that he lilkes to do. For instance, if he likes sports, then tell him if he wants to continue to play sports then he has to have his school work to a certain level in order to play. I would also make a rule that there is no TV, video games, etc. until work is done., Set aside a specific time for him to do his homework. Don't hover, but make sure you check it when he's finished. Make sure that he has a quiet place to do his work and offer help if he needs it. Do not do his work for him, just help him, encourage him, etc. Make sure that you praise him for good grades when he gets them.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms