kids

Rozy - posted on 08/17/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )

30

2

2

Ia m trying to train my daughter to be independent but she keeps on hanging on me what to do?

12 Comments

View replies by

Rozy - posted on 08/18/2012

30

2

2

Dear Dove
Thank you so much for your advice now i am happy with this as my daughter is not allergic to cat she bath her every day and she loves her cat so much she sing for the baby cat and plays with it very friendly way
Thank you

Dove - posted on 08/18/2012

12,477

0

1354

When I was 17 I had a cat that had 5 kittens. Her, her 'brother' (not related, but also my cat), and all 5 babies would sleep on my bed... and all over me. lol ♥

As long as she's not allergic to cats I would have no problem with it at all.

Rozy - posted on 08/18/2012

30

2

2

Hi Moms
Please help me on this. now my daughter want to sleep with her Cat and is this hygienically good thing for her health. i still never say no as i like to give her some space in life. please advice me what should i do for this.
Thank you

Rozy - posted on 08/18/2012

30

2

2

Dear Dove
Thank you so much for your advise. this Circle of Moms is really helpful i love this
Thank you

Dove - posted on 08/18/2012

12,477

0

1354

If you left her for a long period of time to go to work.... her clinging to you is perfectly normal. She's probably afraid that you will leave her again if you go out of her site. Once she can be reassured (by you and possibly counseling) that you aren't going to leave her like that again... she should start being able to be a little more independent.

Rozy - posted on 08/18/2012

30

2

2

Hi Ann & Emily
Thank you for the advise that both of you gave me. yes when she was 08 years i let her be with my parents and left for the job and soon i come back even for holidays she keeps on staying with me never want go away this makes me feel upset and i cant concentrate on my job also so left the job for the sake of my daughter still she want me to be near her every moment she dont want friends or relatives some times she is happy with her cat when i am not with her as if she trust the cat also more than any one. I just take her places with me to make her happy and its bit ok but not fully.
I think i should sacrifice many things for her isn't it. I should be strong and i will be with her as much as she want i love her so much. will this be good for my daughter.
Thank you

Anne-Marie - posted on 08/18/2012

17

0

1

Let her... She is letting you know she is not ready--and it is o.k. It may be that she needs you as her solid rock before she branches out... The more you let her take her time, the stronger she will become in herself.... =). It will become less of a stresser to be independent and more of a want..... =). When she looks at you in askance--you can let her know she's got this. Let her know you are there and are not leaving, at the same time telling her 'you are stronger than you think'.... with a smile... =). .....I hope this helps!

Emily - posted on 08/18/2012

1

0

0

I really wouldn't worry about always having to be there for her, the more she is allowed to be dependent on you now the more independent and secure she will be when she's ready. If you push her away it will encourage independence but will also promote insecurity and negative behaviour. Has there been anything particularly traumatic that has caused her to hang so close? Kids often act the way you've described when they are feeling insecure, don't have enough parent time ('enough' is different for each child), when something at school or another place is causing them to experience fear or when a major event (like being left somewhere as a small child) happened and they were unable to deal with it. Hope some of this Is helpful!

Rozy - posted on 08/18/2012

30

2

2

Thank you Amy actually she is 10 years but very babyish. May be because i am always playing with her and supporting her for every matter so she don't like to do any thing on her own always mom should be with her this is now my worry.
Thank you

Amy - posted on 08/17/2012

6,467

33

2386

How old? But from my own experience the more you push independence the clingier they become, it will happen faster if you let it happen on its own.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms